“Doc Left Stranded
As MAD Forget how to Bat”
Match: 04
/ 100
Lost
by 114 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Cholsey |
177 - 9 |
|
M. Westmoreland 2 - 8 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCCC |
63 |
|
T. Mander 13* |
|
|
There
are many beautiful cricket grounds boasting scenic backgrounds and intricate
wooden pavilions, but Cholsey isn’t one of them. Situated miles away from any
parking areas, this windswept little ground which adjoins a rugged football
field, also comes dressed with a thousand dirty clumps of grass left strewn
around its outfield. But surely the centrepiece of the attraction has to be a
soft pudding of a batting track which looks like it has been stampeded on by
a legion of Roman soldiers. Following the arduous walk to the ground, the
tired and emaciated players of The MAD unpacked their kit and admired the
blank wooden décor and garish white paint, which gave you the impression you
were in a doctor’s surgery and not a pavilion. However, the pleasant banter
with the nominally late arriving Cholsey outfit, reminded you it was indeed a
cricket match and that an appointment with a nurse or doctor was not
required.
Baghdad’s
main airstrip. Skipper
J. Hoskins, wandered out to the middle, and after registering a rare loss of
the toss, was rather surprised when Cholsey opted to bat first on the expanse
of mud and scrubland. Local knowledge at work here? Hmm. With the game
getting underway, it was regularly slowed by Mad fielders regularly having to
traipse to the football field and regularly retrieve the ball. In between,
Westmoreland pouched a goodie off D. Jones (7-1-36-1), and Hoskins (7-0-26-1)
accounted for the aggressive A. Chapman (17). At the other end, the
dependable A. Mann managed an lbw decision in returning his usual economic
figures of 7-2-16-1. Whilst
wickets fell at one end, the Cholsey innings was anchored by the resolute
doggedness of opener J. Gilbert (63*). He provided the perfect foil for the
late hitting of Wilcox (42), as pie men A. Fisher (5-1-32-1), T. Smith
(3-0-27-1) and T. Mander (3-0-29-1) all nursed a bruising. Thankfully,
following the comical run out of the aforementioned Wilcox, M. Westmoreland
was thrown the ball at the death, and to everyone’s delight he wrapped the
innings up with successive balls to finish with figures of 1.3-0-8-2.
Cholsey
always serve up a varied cricket tea. Time for tea. And what a wonderful spread,
especially if you liked cheese. Following a breakdown of Cholseyite
communication, players had arrived at the game with their supposedly varying
contributions. We had Edam cheese, Lancashire cheese, cheddar cheese, matured
cheddar cheese, Irish extra mature cheese, and many other local cheeses too.
At least the vegetarians were catered for, though the collective breath of
the teams was rather ripe afterwards. Following
on from the varied diet on offer, fellow northerner Howarth and Westmoreland
set about beginning The MAD reply. Notwithstanding the slow pace of the
track, Howarth (5) played an hour too soon and watched the ball balloon into
the air to a grateful pair of hands at mid off.
This pre-empted a walk back to a hushed pavilion, followed by his ritual of
swearing and throwing his kit bag around the changing rooms. Moments later,
another audible groan and the door to those changing rooms swung open once
more. “Out already?” enquired Howarth. “Aye, fucking bowled – waste o’ time.”
Replied Westmoreland (8). Now, over the years The MAD have suffered some pretty dramatic slumps, but the one on this day could
stand shoulder to shoulder with the very worst of them. Without the addition
of a single run, the opening pair sat transfixed in those changing rooms as
firstly T. Smith (golden duck) re-emerged, followed by G. Bridges (golden
duck), A. Fisher (5) and lastly D. Jones (duck). During this carnage, Cholsey
speedster J. Wilcox would help himself to a hat-trick. In the scorebook, The MAD FOW read
like this: 24-1. 24-2. 24-3. 24-4. 24-5. 24-6.
Following on from this less savoury chapter in MAD
batting, things improved marginally with A. G. Mann (3) not quite reaching
his obligatory total of four, whilst M. Bullock swished heartily for a merry
and grandiose 6. Elsewhere, Mr. Hoskins (5) bristled with urgency from behind
a pair of reflective sunglasses, as Doc Mander (13*) remained unbowed and
unrattled as he demonstrated to his culpable team mates how to bat. Unfortunately Mr. Mander he ran out of partners
after 18.4 overs. Defeat
by 114 runs and a return of the Tour Hangover. And how! ‘C. O. L. Lapse’’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from The Madding Crowd CC versus Cholsey CC Played at Cholsey, 29 August 2004 Cholsey
CC won the toss and elected to bat Cholsey CC won by 112 runs Far from the MCC debuts:
none |
04 / 100 35 over match |
|
Team |
Cholsey CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. Gilbert |
not out |
63 |
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
P. Jackson |
c Westmoreland b Jones |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
A. Chapman * |
b Hoskins |
17 |
|
|
|
|
|
4 |
R. Body |
lbw b Mann |
4 |
|
|
|
|
|
5 |
S. Haigh |
c Hoskins b Fisher |
8 |
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
R. Harding |
c Mann b Mander |
12 |
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
S. Clayton-Chance |
b Smith |
14 |
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
J. Wilcox |
run out (Fisher) |
42 |
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
A. Sergeant |
b Westmoreland |
7 |
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
G. Richards |
b Westmoreland |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
J. Haigh |
absent |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W7, B1) |
8 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 33.3 overs) |
175 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Mann |
7 |
2 |
16 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Jones |
7 |
1 |
36 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Hoskins |
7 |
0 |
26 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Fisher |
5 |
1 |
32 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
Mander |
3 |
0 |
29 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Smith |
3 |
0 |
27 |
1 |
|
|
7 |
Westmoreland |
1.3 |
0 |
8 |
2 |
|
|
Team |
Far from The Madding Crowd CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
I. Howarth |
c Gilbert b Wilcox |
5 |
(12) |
1 |
- |
1-12 |
|
2 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
b Wilcox |
8 |
(7) |
1 |
- |
2-24 |
|
3 |
A. J. Fisher |
b Chapman |
5 |
(14) |
1 |
- |
5-24 |
|
4 |
T. P. W. Smith |
b Wilcox |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
3-24 |
|
5 |
G. Bridges |
c Haigh b Wilcox |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
4-24 |
|
6 |
A. G. Mann |
b Wilcox |
3 |
(10) |
- |
- |
7-36 |
|
7 |
D. L. Jones |
c and b Chapman |
0 |
(4) |
- |
- |
6-24 |
|
8 |
A. M. Mander |
not out |
13 |
(37) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
9 |
M. Bullock + |
b Richards |
6 |
(12) |
1 |
- |
8-43 |
|
10 |
J. D. Hoskins * |
b Richards |
5 |
(20) |
1 |
- |
9-63 |
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB8, W2, B8) |
18 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 18.4 overs) |
63 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Wilcox |
6 |
1 |
17 |
5 |
|
|
2 |
Chapman |
4 |
1 |
10 |
2 |
|
|
3 |
Sergeant |
5 |
1 |
12 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Richards |
3.4 |
0 |
13 |
2 |
|
|
MOTM: A. M. Mander Champagne Moment: A. Fisher for his
“athletic” run out Buffet
Award: A. M. Mander’s
braised beef salad (with extensive sides) |
Opposition:
V033 / 02 Ground: G026 / 01 Captain: C006 / 27 |