“Abu Musab al-Zarqawi
Backs Fighting Spirit of MAD Skipper”
Match: 04
/ 090
Won
by 1 wkt
|
Team |
Total |
|
Oxford University
offices |
135 |
|
J. Harris 3 - 27, N. Hebbes
3 - 43 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCCC |
136 - 9 |
|
M. Westmoreland
31*, N. Hebbes 21* |
|
|
Prior to the
commencement of the day’s cricketing fare, a large crowd of varying populace had
gathered at the Cowley Marshes for the inaugural opening of the new Marshes
Mural. A wonderful piece of multi-coloured iconic graffiti, some 20 or 30
metres in length, it flanked a brick wall on one side of the ground and
served as a fine and poignant reminder to the children of today, that “War
Is”, quite literally, “Terror.ism”. Guest speaker for the
day was the FBI’s second most wanted fugitive, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, who had
been flown over from Iraq especially for this momentous East Oxford occasion.
Standing on a temporary podium, and looking out to a sea of expectant faces,
the dodgy al-Qaeda activist renounced everything Western and ranted on about
anything that could be categorised as fun. It was a captivating display of
misguided ideology and The MAD were left wondering whether this new art
exhibit was quite in keeping with the revered image of English village
cricket.
The gorgeous Cowley Marshes mural. After regular Skipper J. Hoskins, was
rendered incapacitated due to sinking a boat load of alcohol the previous day
[celebrating Sharapova grunting her way to the Wimbledon Women’s title], Mr.
Westmoreland would step into the breach – and what a memorable debut as
Skipper it would turn out to be. With the skies greying the already
depressing surrounds, Martin opted to field first after surveying what
appeared to be some Albanian horse track masquerading as a cricket strip.
Opening the bowling both A. Mann (1-17) and N. Hebbes kept things tidy, with
the languid Aussie’s subtle use of in-swing doing for OU opener and future
Madster, M. Rundle, for a duck. Runs continued apace, but so did the fall of
wickets, as Hebbes’ military medium returned figures of 3-43, whilst
off-twirler J. Harris (3-27) produced some real gems. Even the Skipper (1-36)
got amongst the wickets and with the OUO stumbling to 84-8, it really should
have been a case of wrapping things up with a sandwich and a half-time can of
Stella. Unfortunately, with the ball tossed to I. Howarth (0-6) and as
happens all too frequently, the heavens duly opened and the Cowley Marshes
soon resembled a boating park. One bonus of staging
cricket at the Cowley Marshes is its close proximity to the local pub
however, so if anyone needed an excuse to investigate the warmth and interior
décor of the Marsh Harrier, a torrential downpour was certainly it. Lager,
cider and beer soon flowed, and it was just absolute shame the rain would
stop and it was decided to resume the game.
Tea. On resumption, it was
noted with some befuddlement that the Office #10 was in fact the same player
who opened the batting for their cricketing counterparts the OUP. Or as Mr.
Smith was heard to quip “that gentleman, over there – he’s a rucking finger.”
Indeed he [Mr. Heron] was, and together with another lower order ringer,
Latif (34), they started tonking the ball about with contemptuous distain.
With the total sailing past the 100 mark, Mad shoulders slumped as a drunk Mr.
Dobner slipped on his derriere whilst grassing a sitter. The sixes column
also continued to mount and it was only when Latif, clearly enjoying the
buffet on offer, slammed a full-bunger from Dobner (1-3) high into the air
that the innings came to an eventual close. And how! A back-peddling J.
Harris somehow clinging on to a magnificent one-handed catch as he pirouetted
by the boundaries edge. A contender for catch of the season, if not catch of
the millennium. A quick turnaround saw Howarth (4) pull a ball
straight to a waiting square leg, before J. Harris showed some pedigree in
accompanying Mr. Dobner up The MAD reply past 50. Alas, concentration
drifted, and after being bowled by a no-ball, Dobner (20) was then bowled
again – this time by a non-no-ball. So he was out. Rather than being not out.
51-2 then quickly became 62-6 as first Flash [Mr. Smith] went in a… flash (golden), A. Morley
and J. Hotson also failed to trouble the scorers, and lynchpin J. Harris (17)
eventually thought best of a recovery.
Hebbes now joined
Westmoreland at the wicket, mixing stout defence with the odd moo to leg.
However, with The MAD score on 88, Martin fell over his partner’s anchor attempting
a quick single and duly retired hurt [as if to justify his now legendary
hypochondriac tag]. Still, whilst the unflappable Hebbes remained, The MAD
could still smell victory. T. Mander (0) would provide brief company, A.
Fisher (14) was great company, whilst A. Mann (7) could have been better
company. Unfortunately, this all left The MAD on 127-9, and with no one left
to bat, 9 runs shy of victory. Bugger it.
But before OU celebrations could begin, a
roar went up from Team MAD as a hobbling Westmoreland returned to the crease.
Climbing off his death bed, echoing the heroics of any lauded war hero, could
Martin bring his team salvation? With a dab here and a theatrical swipe
there, a man and a watching dog held their collective breath as Titanick [Hebbes
21*] and his Skipper (31*) saw The MAD home. An excellent match. An excellent result. An
excellent effort. Just a shame about that fucking mural. ‘George W. Bush’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from The Madding Crowd CC versus Oxford University Offices Played at Cowley Marshes, 4 July 2004 Far from The Madding Crowd CC won the toss and elected to field Far from The Madding Crowd
CC won by 1 wkt Far from the MCC debuts:
none |
04 / 090 35 over match |
|
Team |
Oxford University Offices |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
A. Darley |
b Hebbes |
25 |
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
M. S. Rundle |
b Mann |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
J. Boon |
lbw b Hebbes |
17 |
|
|
|
|
|
4 |
J. Wright |
c Smith b Harris |
8 |
|
|
|
|
|
5 |
M. Field |
c and b Hebbes |
7 |
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
Shamim |
c Westmoreland b Harris |
9 |
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
T. Malloy |
c and b Westmoreland |
7 |
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
U. Latif |
c Harris b Dobner |
34 |
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
N. Alam |
lbw b Harris |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
C. A. Heron |
not out |
18 |
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
|
10 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 30.2 overs) |
135 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Mann |
7 |
1 |
17 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Hebbes |
7 |
0 |
43 |
3 |
|
|
3 |
Harris |
7 |
0 |
27 |
3 |
|
|
4 |
Westmoreland |
7 |
0 |
36 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
Dobner |
1.2 |
0 |
3 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Howarth |
1 |
0 |
6 |
0 |
|
|
Team |
Far from The Madding Crowd CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
I. Howarth |
c Wright b Shamim |
4 |
(9) |
1 |
- |
1-10 |
|
2 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
b Darley |
20 |
(34) |
4 |
- |
2-51 |
|
3 |
J. Harris |
b Latif |
17 |
(42) |
3 |
- |
5-56 |
|
4 |
T. P. W. Smith |
b Darley |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
3-51 |
|
5 |
A. Morley |
b Latif |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
4-55 |
|
6 |
M. T. Westmoreland * |
not out |
31 |
(32) |
5 |
- |
- |
|
7 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
b Boon |
0 |
(11) |
- |
- |
6-62 |
|
8 |
N. J. Hebbes |
not out |
21 |
(46) |
3 |
- |
- |
|
9 |
A. M. Mander |
b Wright |
0 |
(3) |
- |
- |
7-88 |
|
10 |
A. J. Fisher + |
b Wright |
14 |
(22) |
1 |
1 |
8-112 |
|
11 |
A. G. Mann |
b Latif |
7 |
(10) |
1 |
- |
9-129 |
|
|
Extras |
(NB2, W10, LB5, B5) |
22 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 9 wickets, 34.5 overs) |
136 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Darley |
7 |
3 |
12 |
2 |
|
|
2 |
Shamim |
7 |
0 |
44 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Boon |
7 |
2 |
12 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Latif |
6 |
0 |
19 |
3 |
|
|
5 |
Wright |
7 |
0 |
32 |
2 |
|
|
6 |
Field |
0.5 |
0 |
3 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: M. T.
Westmoreland retired hurt on 88-6 (28* off 27) and returned on 129-9 |
|
|||||
|
MOTM: J. Harris Champagne Moment: J. Harris’ amazing one-handed
catch on the boundary Buffet
Award: N. J. Hebbes’ suet pudding
(with chips) |
Opposition:
V035 / 02 Ground: G006 / 09 Captain: C011 / 01 |