“Sundries Upstaged As Moo Boy Hat-trick Condemns Marlborough to The MADwash”

‘Spam’

“Sundries Upstaged

As Moo Boy Hat-trick

Condemns Marlborough to The MADwash”

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Match: 04 / 101

Won by 90 runs

Team	Total
FFTMCCC	158 - 9
N. Hebbes 33, S. Dobner 28

Marlborough House	68
J. Hoskins 3 - 9, S. Hebbes 3 - 28

The late summer sun beat down on Cutteslowe Park as the Far from The Madding Crowd CC attempted a clean sweep against archrivals the Marlborough House. Securing the toss, skipper J. Hoskins had no hesitation in batting first with Mad openers messrs Howarth and Dobner striding purposefully out to the middle. An eyebrow would then be raised among The MAD faithful as an Australian left-armer pertaining to be ‘Ant’ opened the Marlborough attack.

“Ant? …another Aussie ‘Ant’? Was this ‘Ant’ a half-brother of The MAD’s very own ‘Ant’?”

“Were ‘Ant’ and ‘Ant’ acquainted with each other?”

“Were they brothers? What the f….”

What was a certainty was this other ‘Ant’ [Mr. A. Lamb as it transpired] was a darned fine bowler – not unlike The MAD’s very own ‘Ant’ – just conceptually very different.

2004Sep5

Library footage of a can of Stella at Cutteslowe Park

After smashing a dreadful first over off Rocky, Howarth (14) left proceedings following an attempt to repeat the medicine against this other ‘Ant’. Stumps uprooted, Ian trudged past the squawking Aussie to bemoan the vagaries of a manicured pitch perfect for batting. Moments later, J. Hotson’s (0) less than nimble use of the pads [lbw] allowed him the luxury of sharing Ian’s Stella.

N. Hebbes now helped Steve see off the dangerous ‘Ant’ (7-2-7-2), and without any further undue alarms they continued to nudge and nurdle the score along. Almost painfully. What certainly helped The MAD run-rate, was their opponent’s inability to bowl a proper line other than the aforementioned Mr. Lamb. Over after over, wide after wide, the Marlborough continued to spray the ball around as if they were drunk. So, if a partnership stalled, a few dozen extras soon restored parity.

It took until the 27th over for the next wicket to fall, with the erratic Rocky (7-0-41-2) finally producing a ball of note [a straight one] to sink the Titanick (33), thus ending a stoic partnership of 88.

And so to the slog…. Bullock and Hoskins swung and left for nought, T. Smith and S. Hebbes both swiped a couple apiece, Westmoreland boshed a cavalier 8, and Dobner finally cracked for a painstaking 28. All that was left was for ‘Ant’ (1*) and Doc (8*) [no, not Ant and Dec] to protect their averages and leave The MAD on 156-9. It is at this point that E. Xtras must take a bow. This unheralded and largely invisible member of the team had silently tallied 62 runs on his / her own; and to think, The MAD hadn’t even clapped his / her fifty….

So, were the Marlborough capable of preventing The MADwash and running down their opponents total? In short – no. There fragile and largely useless batting flopped again. They subsided from a potentially upbeat 59-4, to a depressingly downbeat 68-9. Our ‘Ant’ proved his economical self with figures of 4-1-8-1, S. Hebbes starred with figures of 7-3-28-3, and both N. Hebbes (6-0-22-2) and J. Hoskins (3-0-9-3) provided the flan to leave the Marlborough floundering.

But there would be one final twist to the story. Watching proceedings from under the brim of his blue sunhat, M. Westmoreland had been itching to get a hold of the ball the entire innings, hoping for a chance of cricketing immortality as only the second Madster ever to record a ‘split’ hat-trick [his previous bowl at Cholsey having resulted in 2 wickets with his last 2 balls].

Library footage of Moo.

Finally, with the Marlborough number eleven at the crease, the Skipper saw fit to toss the ball to Martin and let him to do his thing. A ring of fielders cramped around the bat, and as Martin trundled in, that man and his dog held their breath again. The planet stopped spinning on its axis, the ball swung late, dipped and slammed into the stumps. OUT! Cheering erupted, Martin was held aloft, 3-0 to The MAD.

Long live the old ‘Ant’, out with the new.

Westmoreland

Far from The Madding Crowd CC versus Marlborough House

Played at Cutteslowe Park, 5 September 2004

Far from The Madding Crowd CC won the toss and elected to bat

Far from The Madding Crowd CC won by 90 runs

Far from the MCC debuts: none

04 / 101

35 over match

Team	Far from The Madding Crowd CC

#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	I. Howarth	b Lamb	14	(23)	2	-	1-29
2	S. L. P. Dobner	b Uzman	28	(79)	-	-	5-129
3	J. C. W. Hotson	lbw b Lamb	0	(9)	-	-	2-31
4	N. J. Hebbes	b Rocky	33	(58)	3	-	3-119
5	M. Bullock +	lbw b Rocky	0	(1)	-	-	4-119
6	A. M. Mander	not out	8	(23)	-	-	-
7	T. P. W. Smith	b Uzman	2	(4)	-	-	6-136
8	M. T. Westmoreland	c Uzman b Allen	8	(10)	1	-	7-148
9	J. D. Hoskins *	c Shelley b Allen	0	(1)	-	-	8-149
10	S. Hebbes	c Lamb b Allen	2	(4)	-	-	9-156
11	A. G. Mann	not out	1	(3)	-	-	-
	Extras	(NB10, W41, LB4, B7)	62
	TOTAL	(for 9 wickets, 35 overs)	158

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Anthony (Lamb)	7	2	7	2
2	Rocky	7	0	41	2
3	Uzman	7	0	30	2
4	Allen	5	0	34	3
5	Shelley	7	0	27	0
6	Godfrey	2	0	7	0

Team	Marlborough House

#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	A. Salt	b Mann	0				1-0
2	M. K. Reeves	c Westmoreland b S. Hebbes	9				2-15
3	M. Allen	c N. Hebbes b S. Hebbes	4				3-31
4	M. W. Shelley *	b N. Hebbes	39				7-64
5	J. Hague	c Howarth b S. Hebbes	0				4-31
6	Uzman	c and b Hoskins	2				5-59
7	J. Carroll	c and b Hoskins	0				6-64
8	Rocky	c N. Hebbes b Hoskins	2				9-68
9	D. Wilson	b N. Hebbes	2				8-66
10	A. Lamb	not out	0				-
11	S. Godfrey	b Westmoreland	0				10-68
	Extras	(W9, B1)	10
	TOTAL	(all out, 20.1 overs)	68

MOTM: N. J. Hebbes

Champagne Moment: M. T. Westmoreland’s hat-trick ball

Buffet Award: S. Hebbes’ fennel soup (with multiseed bread to dip)

Opposition: V010 / 06

Ground: G001 / 23

Captain: C006 / 28