Far from the MCC fines 26.06.05 v Lemmings (h) lost by 7 wkts

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Steve D	Intimate Showering	With Dan
	Intimate Showering	With Nick
	Willing a Team Mate to Suffer Injury	Having taken several blows whilst batting
	Retirement Fraud	Bowling again
			£1.00
Martin	Nickname Avoidance	Only scoring on off-side
	Shower Avoidance
	Poor Umpiring	Calling ‘One Short’ on a four
			£0.75
Jake	Self Importance
	Ball Avoidance	Poor fielding
	Shower Avoidance
	Turning Up Late
	Suffering an Identity Crisis	Haircut
			£1.25
Ian	Intimate Showering	With Nick
	Dropped Catch	Shower gel
	Failure to Recognize Own Player	Calling Nick ‘John’
	Intimate Showering	With Dan
	Intimate Showering	With Steve
	Opening Partnership Avoidance		£0.50
	Inappropriate Urination
			£2.00
Nick	Trouser Avoidance	Thrown away by missus
	Impersonating a Clown
	Duck Avoidance
	Intimate Showering	With Dan
	Intimate Showering	With Steve
	Intimate Showering	With Ian
	Reading Avoidance	“Can’t read,” when querying fines
	Clown Hat Avoidance
			£2.00
Thornton	Impersonating a Cat	Peeping Tom in the showers
	Impersonating a Footballer	Fielding with feet
	Joy-Riding a Skoda
	Smoking on the Pitch		£0.50
			£1.25
James H	Self Importance	Smugness during Fines Committee
	Shower Avoidance
	Asking a Stupid Question	“Byes or leg-byes?” following moo shot
			£0.75
Matt	Missed Stumping
	Missed Run-Out
	Shower Avoidance
			£0.75
John	Missed Run-Out
	Pub Avoidance
	Shower Avoidance
			£0.75
Ant	Dissent	Setting poor example for his kids
	Maths Avoidance	Scoring: 3+1+1=3
	Instigating a Collapse	Predicting fall of 2nd wicket
	Shower Avoidance
	Opening Bowler No Wicket		£0.50
			£1.50
Dan	Intimate Showering	With Nick
	Suicidal Running	‘Suicidal Tendencies’
	Impersonating Austin Powers	Wicket celebration
	Abusing a Team Mate	“You fucking twat,” upon Thorn’s dismissal
	Premature Celebration	Of half-century when on 42
	Impersonating a Teacher	Coaching Thorn
			£1.50
		TOTAL	£13.50

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Looking Uber-Smug (overly arrogant and condescending)	£0.50
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2