“Edwards Creates History as Hoskins Leaves Office”

Match: 06 / 119

Won by 51 Runs

Team	Total
FFTMCC	191 - 5
D. Edwards 103*, G. Littlechild 22
Wootton & Boars Hill CC	140
S. Dobner 4 - 9

Under the glare of the media spotlight, Dan Edwards fielded questions from Sky Sports interviewer Jonathan Agnew, after his historic efforts with the bat earlier in the day.

JA: “Well, Dan, you must be one happy man after today’s performance?”

DE: “Haha. Thanks, Jonathan. It’s all a little bit surreal right now, I’m over the moon. But I couldn’t have done it without the help of my teammates. So I’d just like to thank them for making this dream happen. Especially Matt who kept the scoreboard rolling as I neared my ton.”

JA: “It has been suggested by some of the spectators that you became very self-important at this stage of your knock. How d’you defend yourself against these allegations?”

DE: “Well, Jonathan, it just kinda happened. I got a little carried away. You know – great knock, great baby, great wife, super dog etc.”

JA: “Ha. I guess we can give you a little slack there, Dan. Would you like to add anything as I close this interview out?”

DE: “Sure. I’d just like to thank god for making this happen, and if anyone needs any trees cutting to size, then Branching Out can cater for all your needs and requirements. The number is… etc.”

Dan Edwards (front) became The MAD’s first centurion.

A new season.

A new era.

A new skipper.

And a couple of new faces.

2006 had gotten underway on a rather chilly day at a picturesque ground belonging to Wootton & Boars Hill. It was the kind of day that threatened to turn sunny and leave you requiring only 16 jumpers as opposed to the 31 which most players were sporting. Unfortunately, what sun there was so brief as to be pointless. But you know, this was April not summer, so moaning about it seemed a little unfair, but moan we did, and the moaning only increased as a succession of Spitfires, Tornados and other assorted aircraft tore through leaden skies as they entertained a nearby air show.

To avoid any frost-bite after securing the toss, newly appointed Skipper Ian Howarth immediately decided on batting first on an artificial strip. Edwards and Hebbes were entrusted with laying a sound foundation and this they did before Hebbes (20) was adjudged lbw by umpire Smith to a ball hitting him somewhere above shoulder level. Nick was fine with the decision and promised Thornton he wouldn’t run him out given his first opportunity. Bionic sports teacher Gary Littlechild (22) then helped usher the score along to 79 before falling to a lazy pull shot.

After such a solid start, it was now left to The MAD engine house to stoke the fire and push towards a sizeable total. However Messrs Dobner (3), Howarth (6), and Westmoreland (0) failed to read the script as the innings stumbled to 118-5 in the 31st over.

“Jesus! All these fucking wickets falling – I can’t keep up!”

With wickets tumbling around him, Edwards was quietly accumulating at the other end, and he found an able ally in wily Geoff Carter. Together the pair became more adventurous, or at least Dan did, and pretty soon the Wootton bowling became ragged, especially with loaned Madster Andrew Morley refusing to catch any of Dan’s skiers. Edwards was particularly savage in the twilight of his innings, swivelling in his crease and peppering a short leg-side boundary with fours and sixes. With an over to spare, he had now progressed to the dizzying heights of the nineties and MAD history beckoned, just as it had for Davie and Howarth before him. Was this finally the day?

YES IT WAS!!! After nudging the ball into a vacant gap, Edwards (103*) became the first MAD Centurion since the team’s inception some eight years ago. He remained unbeaten as the team closed out on 191-5, with the doughty Carter (17*) accompanying him off the field to rich applause and no little backslapping. Time for tea.

Post overindulgence, an earlier chill had been reinforced by a bitterly cold wind. Henceforth, James Hoskins amused all, as he took to the field looking like a homeless vagrant, decked out in multiple T-shirts and a fleece tucked under his sweater.

The Wootton reply began in earnest with neither A. Mann (8-0-35-0) nor Westmoreland (5-1-20-0) able to make the breakthrough. On a positive spin, the team at least began to warm up as they chased the ball repeatedly to the boundary. Quite soon, after only thirteen overs, the home team total stood at 72 without loss.

The introduction of debutant Mike Reeves (5-1-20-1) had failed to stem the flow of runs, but he did produce one gem to have opener A. Fisher (30) caught by Edwards at mid-on. This was complemented soon after by a Hoskins (6-1-22-1) twirler which did for the rampaging J. Studds (40). His injudicious pull shot picked out Westmoreland on the boundary, who after a golden duck, a broken bat and a would-be wicketless day, finally had something to cheer about.

Clutter. It’s what we do.

Wootton were more than in it at 78-2, but with the dismissal of their openers in successive overs, cracks appeared in their batting makeup. Step forward Wal-Mart floor supervisor, Mr S. L. P. Dobner, who after reversing his decision to “never bowl for The MAD again”, came charging in. In a mesmeric spell (8-2-9-4) that left his teammates scratching their heads in disbelief, Steve ran through Wootton’s middle order as they capitulated. It could have been better too, especially if Howarth and Westmoreland hadn’t grassed his 5-for. Thankfully, we all know Steve won’t still be bitching about this in a decade’s time.

It was left for the Skipper (1-0-6-1) and Mr Hebbes (0.1-0-0-1) to mop up the tail to leave The MAD claiming a 51 run victory. An excellent effort overall, a great start to the campaign and with renewed enthusiasm and faces in the ranks, it all bodes well for the future.

‘Spam’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Wootton & Boars Hill CC Played at Boars Hill, 30 April 2006 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 51 runs Far from the MCC debuts: Mike Reeves (93)

06 / 119 40 over match

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	N. J. Hebbes	lbw b A. Fisher	20	(39)	-	1	1-47
2	D. M. Edwards	not out	103	(120)	12	3	-
3	G. S. Littlechild +	c Kidd b A. Fisher	22	(22)	2	1	2-79
4	S. L. P. Dobner	b J. Fisher	3	(22)	-	-	3-99
5	I. Howarth *	c A. Fisher b J. Fisher	6	(11)	1	-	4-118
6	M. T. Westmoreland	b J. Fisher	0	(1)	-	-	5-118
7	G. Carter	not out	17	(26)	2	-	-
8	T. P. W. Smith
9	M. K. Reeves
10	J. D. Hoskins
11	A. G. Mann
	Extras	(NB1, W15, LB3, B1)	20
	TOTAL	(for 5 wickets, 40 overs)	191

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Alistoun	7	1	37	0
2	Gulley	8	0	27	0
3	Kidd	5	0	38	0
4	A. Fisher	8	0	33	2
5	J. Fisher	8	2	23	3
6	T. Fisher	3	0	11	0
7	Roberts	2	0	25	0

Team	Wootton & Boars Hill CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	J. Studds	c Westmoreland b Hoskins	40		4	2	2-78
2	A. Fisher	c Edwards b Reeves	30		5	1	1-72
3	T. Fisher	b Dobner	25		3	-	5-122
4	J. Fisher	c Carter b Dobner	1		-	-	3-90
5	N. Alistoun	run out (Littlechild)	9		1	-	4-116
6	A. Lawrie +	run out (Westmoreland)	8		1	-	7-124
7	A. Kidd	b Dobner	0		-	-	6-122
8	K. Howkins *	c Dobner b Howarth	7		-	-	9-134
9	B. Roberts	c Hebbes b Dobner	1		-	-	8-127
10	A. Morley	b Hebbes	1		-	-	10-140
11	S. Gulley	not out	6		1	-	-
	Extras	(NB3, W6, LB3)	12
	TOTAL	(all out, 36.1 overs)	140

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Mann	8	0	35	0
2	Westmoreland	5	1	20	0
3	Reeves	5	1	21	1
4	Hoskins	6	1	22	1
5	Dobner	8	2	9	4
6	Smith	3	0	24	0
7	Howarth	1	0	6	1
8	Hebbes	0.1	0	0	1

MOTM: D. M. Edwards Champagne Moment: D. M. Edwards bringing his ton up Buffet Award: T. P. W. Smith’s vege lasagne (with extra kidney beans)

Opposition: V039 / 01 Ground: G017 / 02 Captain: C007 / 06

Match Fines