“MAD Forced to Watch the Director’s Cut”
Match: 06 / 122
Lost by 7 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
184 |
|
G. Littlechild 41, I. Howarth
27 |
|
|
|
|
|
Oxford University Offices |
185 - 3 |
|
I. Howarth 1 -
15, A. Mann 1 - 16 |
|
|
In a repeat showing of the
previous year, at the University Club last Sunday The MAD found themselves
obliged to watch as the same old story unfolded before their eyes. Said Mad
skipper and film buff I. Howarth after the game, “We’re getting sick of
watching the same thing over and over again.
Everyone likes a bit of variety, and I think audience figures will show that,
when it comes to our games against the Offices, there is a great need for an
alternative ending.” On this occasion at least, to underscore the usual dull
clichés, proceedings mid-story were enliven by the
introduction of a new character, the Director, whose thematic interpretations
of the main themes of the afternoon were significant, and who will long be
remembered by those who saw him hit the crap out of The MAD’s bowling attack
in a critically acclaimed way.
The swanky new background of the University Club. Winning the toss at the
University Club, pretty as a picture, with the sun beating down on a hard
pitch and firm outfield begging for boundaries, where the shiny new
conference centre and bar stands as testament to the oodles of money washing
around somewhere at least, big splashy pools of liquid green that someone not
me has managed to sink their greedy little hands into, Far From
The MCC captain I. Howarth elected to bat.
Opener I. Howarth (27) lays a solid foundation for The MAD. It mostly went swimmingly. N.
Hebbes (6) departed early after the customary controversial lbw decision, but
then I. Howarth (27) and G. Littlechild (41) settled into a productive
partnership of 70, which provided the platform for useful contributions down
the order. M. Bullock kept up his early season form with a handy 15, and M.
Westmoreland made a handy 20. S. Dobner chipped in with a useful 20 as well
before being handily run out backing up, while a handy 2 from S. Parkinson
preceded a useful 15 n.o. from T. Smith, finding
the middle of the bat for the first time in two seasons. Handy ducks from J.
Hotson and J. Hoskins left the way open for A. Mann (16) to smack a useful
four boundaries from five deliveries before holing out in the final over.
Boon for UO topped the bowling figures with 4-44, while new man ‘The
Director’ Roycroft bamboozled his way to 2-25. Joe
Organ (2-36) picked up a brace with his fast and accurate seamers. Special
mention also for A. Cavanagh of The MAD, who came
straight from searching for conches and winkles on the beach to turn out for
the Offices, took two catches, dropped another, and was generally surly and
abusive to anyone who tried to engage him in harmless banter from behind the
boundary rope.
M. Bullock
(15) cuts the ball away.
But fairy tales are for
fairies, and in retrospect, with hindsight, looking back on it now, 184 was
never going to be enough. The UO lads romped home with overs and wickets to
spare. Though Darley (5) went early clean bowled to the probing A. Mann
(5-0-16-1), a huge fucking black cloud then appeared
in the sky and emptied its sodding guts all over Oxford. When the cloud
buggered off and players returned to the field, the ball was a frigging sponge and the pitch was as flat as a bull dyke’s chest.
Though Howarth soon brought on J. Hoskins (5-0-30-1) to slow the ball down,
there was no stopping Director Roycroft, veteran of
a higher standard than this, who hit 58 without raising a sweat before
retiring to nurse a bogus injury and give the other guys a chance. Douglas
opening hit 32, Blakey 36, and Organ remained on 32 not out. For a while, The
MAD in the field felt like nothing so much as animals confined in a closed
environment and subjected to a strange form of torture. (Note topical
reference to animal research facility being built adjacent to University Club
Ground). But soon enough it was over: I. Howarth (2-0-15-1) grabbed one at
the end, but by and large bowling was a damp and thankless job, especially
for the luckless M. Westmoreland (4-1-17-0) who found the edge 43 times in
his spell of four overs. After the game, umpired by
the generous A. Fisher on a day off from his punishing chess schedule, The
MAD went back to The Magdalen Arms to fine each other for being shite, accompanied by several of the Offices lads, always
welcome and ever friendly. S. Dobner, however, went instead back to Stevenage
to hang around waiting to be a Dad, and two days later, that very thing came
to pass.
Amie D missed out on being born on 6/6/2006 (thank god!) Congratulations to Steve and
Kim on the birth of Amie Iris Rose, 12.21 pm, 7th June 2006, 6lb 9oz, by
whose arrival we are once again reminded that there are more important things
than winning. Though winning is nice too. ‘Blocker’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Oxford University Offices Played at University Club, 4 June
2006 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to bat Oxford University Offices won
by 7 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
06 / 122 40 over match |
|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
N. J. Hebbes |
lbw b Organ |
6 |
(7) |
1 |
- |
1-11 |
|
2 |
I. Howarth * |
b Roycroft |
27 |
(44) |
6 |
- |
2-81 |
|
3 |
G. S. Littlechild + |
b Boon |
41 |
(56) |
9 |
- |
3-85 |
|
4 |
M. Bullock |
b Hallsworth |
15 |
(32) |
3 |
- |
4-108 |
|
5 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
run out |
20 |
(41) |
3 |
- |
5-140 |
|
6 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
c Cavanagh b Organ |
20 |
(27) |
3 |
- |
6-150 |
|
7 |
S. B. Parkinson |
b Boon |
2 |
(5) |
- |
- |
7-161 |
|
8 |
T. P. W. Smith |
not out |
15 |
(14) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
9 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
c Organ b Boon |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
8-161 |
|
10 |
J. D. Hoskins |
c Darley b Boon |
0 |
(5) |
- |
- |
9-167 |
|
11 |
A. G. Mann |
c Cavanagh b Roycroft |
16 |
(6) |
4 |
- |
10-184 |
|
|
Extras |
(NB2, W9, LB4, B7) |
22 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 39.3 overs) |
184 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Organ |
8 |
0 |
36 |
2 |
|
|
2 |
Blakey |
3 |
0 |
15 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Roycroft |
7.3 |
2 |
25 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Boon |
8 |
0 |
44 |
4 |
|
|
5 |
Allan |
7 |
1 |
26 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Hallsworth |
6 |
0 |
27 |
1 |
|
|
Team |
Oxford
University Offices |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
G. Douglas |
c and b Hoskins |
31 |
|
3 |
- |
2-79 |
|
2 |
A. Darley * |
b Mann |
4 |
|
1 |
- |
1-10 |
|
3 |
J. Roycroft |
retired hurt |
58 |
|
9 |
1 |
- |
|
4 |
D. Blakey |
lbw b Howarth |
36 |
|
7 |
- |
3-160 |
|
5 |
J. Organ |
not out |
32 |
|
6 |
- |
- |
|
6 |
J. Boon |
not out |
2 |
|
- |
- |
- |
|
7 |
J. Newman-Robson + |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
A. Hallsworth |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
G. Davies |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
S. Allan |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
A. Cavanagh |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W7, LB7, B8) |
22 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 3 wickets, 31.5 overs) |
185 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Parkinson |
5.5 |
1 |
16 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Mann |
5 |
0 |
16 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Hebbes |
5 |
0 |
41 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Hoskins |
5 |
0 |
30 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
Westmoreland |
4 |
1 |
17 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Dobner |
3 |
0 |
20 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Smith |
2 |
0 |
15 |
0 |
|
|
8 |
Howarth |
2 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
|
|
MOTM: G. S. Littlechild Champagne Moment: M. T. Westmoreland’s
sprawling boundary stop Buffet
Award: N. Hebbes’ chicken and rice
salad |
Opposition:
V035 / 05 Ground: G028 / 01 Captain: C007 / 09 |