Far from the MCC fines 22.04.07 v Hanney CC (a) won by 2 wkts

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Steve D	Grumbling	About commute
	Pub Avoidance
	Geography Avoidance
	Impersonating Morrissey	"Don't wish to be patronized"
	Bowling Avoidance	Declining to continue
	Being Hit for Six First Ball
	Duck		£0.50
	Comedy Dismissal	Full toss, edged, looped to 'keeper (stood up)
			£2.25
Martin	Impersonating Steve D	"Car park"
	7 x Supplying an Out Of Date Hat	New hats bear '2006' inscription	£1.75
	Bullying a Small Child	'Car park' threats
	Wearing an Out Of Date Hat
	Purgery in Fines Committee	Claiming only supplied one out-of-date hat
	Sportswear Avoidance	Relieved of kit bag responsibility
			£3.00
Steve P	Dissent		£0.50
	Self Importance	Teaching us the word 'calisthenics'
	Spelling Avoidance	Not being able to spell 'calisthenics'
	Self Importance	Having 'Great Expectations'
	Average Protection
	Abusing a Team Mate	Trying to kill Ian
	Impersonating James Bond Incompetence	Failing to kill Ian
	Dissing the Captain	"Deserved killing"
	Dissent		£0.50
	Excessive Participation Sport	Doing press-ups
	Fine Avoidance	Trying to kill Ian to avoid fines
	Fine Avoidance	Trying to pay with foreign money
			£3.50
Dave S	Talking Crap	Denying existence of gravity
	Average Protection
	Fine Avoidance	Claiming incorrect change
	Batting Avoidance	Trying to get out
	Self Importance	Thought was out LBW
	Hat-Trick Avoidance
	Self Importance	Getting fined out of turn
			£1.75
Ian	Wearing an Out Of Date Hat
	Captaincy Incompetence	Failure to control players
	Calling Incompetence	"No" then very late "Yeah go on" after misfield
	Dissent	After poor delivery
	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	Captaincy Incompetence	Conceding toss after winning it
	Umpiring Incompetence	Duties avoidance re resetting stumps
			£2.00
Nick	Self Importance	Disguised as hollow humility
	Concentration Avoidance During Fines Committee	Not hearing gavel
	Instigating a Collapse
	Impersonating Steve D
	Excessive Cheesiness	Cheeseville turf wars
	Environment Abuse	Car pool avoidance
	Self Importance
	Run Avoidance	Not running Mike out
			£2.00
Richard	Nickname Avoidance	Not waiting 6 years since last appearance
	Self Importance	"Doubled last years average" claim
	Duck Avoidance	Scoring 1
	Dropped Catch	Juggled	£0.50
	Purgery in Fines Committee	Claiming no fielder within 100yds when took catch
	Maths Avoidance	Double 0 is actually 0
	Self Importance	Trying to conclude personal fines
	Self Importance	Demanding to be fined next
	Attempting to Bankrupt The Club	Trying to short-change treasurer
	Self Importance	Taking Stevie P’s catch at orthodox cow
	Impersonating Statto	Claims about average
			£3.00
Matt	Excessive Participation Sport	Trips to gym
	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	Doughnut Avoidance	See same fixture last year
	Ball Avoidance	Stepping forward, chance went over head
			£1.25
Mike C	Impersonating a Bunny	On way out to bat: "Here we go" from opposition
	Sportswear Incompetence	Running like a monkey, holding crotch
	Calling Incompetence	"Yes… No… No… Yes"
	Dissing the Captain	Blaming for dismissal after advice to charge
	Leading a Small Child Astray	Warmongering with Ant's kids
			£1.25
Gary	Grumbling	About club hats being blue not orange
	Impersonating a Footballer	Goalkeeper behind the stumps
	Self Importance	"Low testicles"
	Nickname Avoidance	Surname as nickname
			£1.00
Ant	In Denial	Of ponytail
	Harbouring Dark Thoughts
	Inappropriate Flirting	"Mike looks hot"
	Impersonating James H	Batting no 11
	Bad Hair Day	Ponytail not inserted through cap correctly
	Leading a Small Child Astray	Getting kids to shoot water pistols at Mike
	Opening Bowler No Wicket		£0.50
	Crèche Avoidance	Kids did not stay duration
			£2.25
		TOTAL	£23.25

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Uber [anything] – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending	£0.50
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2