Far from the MCC fines 17.08.07 v Sidley CC (a) won by 7 wkts

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Martin	Impersonating Tony	“Can’t we limit fines to 20p?”
	Bullying a Small Child
	Nickname Avoidance	Not enough mooing
	Average Protection
	Self Importance	Greed - trying to take 2 runs when only 1 required
	Hat Avoidance	Pink hat avoidance whilst batting
	Having a Minor Cob	Snatching pink hat
	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	Impersonating Ian	Shirt swap
			£2.50
Steve P	Excessive Gayness	Wearing bondage gear
	Dissing a Team Mate	“You all talk bollocks” - 12 counts	£3.00
	Excessive Aggression	Bowling a bouncer
	Farting Up-Wind of The Team
	Dissing a Team Mate	James
	Self Importance	Predicting his own fines being the record amount
	Asking a Stupid Question	Inappropriate questions to Ian: “Is anything coming out?”
	Smoking on the Pitch	4 counts	£2.00
	Self Importance	"I stopped a certain 4"
	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	Captaincy Incompetence	Not counting James’ overs
			£7.50
Geoff	Dissing a Team Mate	Dissing the touring squad: “Inadequate” - 12 counts	£3.00
	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	Excessive Aggression	Aggressive batting - out of character
	Excessive Gayness	Hogging the pink hat
	Dissing a Team Mate	“I was taking the hat off” when Jake was taking a catch
	Inappropriate Celebration	Celebrating John’s dropped catch - arms in air shouting “YES”
	Comedy Dismissal
	Comedy Running
	Exposing The Tail
	Comedy Wicketkeeping	Admitted
			£5.50
Dave	Ball Avoidance	Avoiding catching to avoid potential receipt of pink hat
	Impersonating a Mister Man	Mr Strong - attempting to push over the wall
	Driving Incompetence	Stalling car on numerous occasions
	Impersonating a Super Hero
	Impersonating a Chav	Going shopping at Lidl
	Geography Avoidance	Getting lost in Sidley
			£1.50
Jake	Self Importance	Delaying fines committee (smoking)
	Umpire Abuse	Standing on the umpire’s toes
	Umpiring Incompetence	Signalling to the wrong end of the ground
	Comedy Fielding
	Umpiring Avoidance	Late umpiring
	Impersonating a Footballer
	Self Importance	Arguing with Fines Committee (not using the internationally recognised appeals process)
	Self Importance	Arguing with Fines Committee (again)
			£2.00
Ian	Dissing a Team Mate	Dissing the touring squad: “Corpses” - 12 counts	£3.00
	Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman		£0.50
	Bribery and Corruption	Organising a flawed draw
	Impersonating Martin	Shirt swap
	Dissing the Captain	Multiple occasions
	Talking Crap	“He has an arm like a leg”
	Fine Entrapment	Persistent
	Dissing a Team Mate	Jake – doubting his catching ability
	Bullying a Woman	Taking catch to dismiss
	Fine Entrapment	Attempting to induce a cob (James and the blue pen)
	Umpiring Avoidance	Umpiring for 1 over (“Sausage rolls won’t go straight through me…”)
	Plumbing Abuse	Abusing Sidley’s public utilities
	Impersonating a Cricketer	Fielding whilst umpiring
	Dissing a Team Mate	Geoff
	Dissing a Team Mate	Calling Jake “a plum”
	Impersonating a Supergrass	Constant grassing
	Bank Avoidance	Going to bar without money
			£7.25
Nick	Dissing The Team	Prophecy of doom from fennel
	ESP Avoidance	Incorrect fennel result
	Comedy Dismissal	Obeying opposition instructions ("You will get out")
	Winding up an Opposition Player	The fast bowler
	Sledging a Team Mate	Sledging his own team in general
	Self Importance	Boasting about his multi-tool
	Changing Before End of Game	Early showering
	Cricket Avoidance	Disinterest in playing on Saturday (for Sidley)
	Impersonating a Footballer	Risking a Rooney/Gerrard injury (stopping ball with foot)
	Sledging a Team Mate	Pointing out Geoff’s comedy keeping
	Impersonating a Teacher	Telling square leg how to do his job
	Sledging a Team Mate	Ridiculing John’s catching ability
	Sledging a Team Mate	Pointing at the wicket to Thornton (after a wide)
	Self Importance	Moving the crowd (behind bowlers arm)
			£3.50
Thornton	Concentration Avoidance During Fines Committee
	Impersonating Billy Liar	“I haven’t bowled a wide or a no-ball”
	Impersonating a Wimp	Being scared of the girl
	Bullying a Woman	Bowling beamers at
	Cricket Avoidance	Playing pool against himself during the innings
	Pitch Avoidance	Delaying the air show (dangerous bowling) - 2 counts	£0.50
	Hat Abuse	Combined with cob (kicking hat around the pitch)
	Smoking on the Pitch	And drinking	£0.50
	Self Importance	Demanding a re-draw
			£2.75
James H	Unnecessary Secrecy	About the venue and time
	Having a Minor Cob	After receiving pink hat despite protest
	Geography Avoidance	Getting lost in Eastbourne
	Bribery and Corruption	Organising a flawed draw
	Self Importance	Showboating - casual and nonchalant caught and bowled
	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	Hat Avoidance	Of pink hat, attempted: "That wasn't a catch"
	Smoking on the Pitch		£0.50
	Inappropriate Celebration	Celebrating John's dropped catch
	Bullying a Woman	Taking wicket of
	Abusing a Team Mate	Attacking Jake with a sword
	Having a Minor Cob
	Ball Avoidance	Catch avoidance
	Concentration Avoidance During Fines Committee	Using flash photography
	Excessive Gayness	Peak up on cap
			£4.25
John	Inappropriate Celebration	Sudden burst of energy passing pink hat to Steve
	Fine Entrapment	Geoff
	Having a Minor Cob	Re dropped catch “At least I’m going for them”
	Having a Minor Cob	At Geoff
	Dropped Catch	2 counts, 1 off own bowling	£1.00
	Fine Entrapment	James
	Average Protection
	Having a Minor Cob	Whilst batting
	Abusing a Team Mate	Blaming James for one dropped catch
	Comedy Fielding	Par excellence
			£3.25
Ant	Umpiring Incompetence	Signalling to the wrong end of the ground
	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	Comedy Bowling	Bowling “spin”
	Comedy Throwing	Wayward
			£1.25
		TOTAL	£41.25

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Uber [anything] – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending	£0.50
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2