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Far from the MCC fines 29.07.07 v Oxford University Press (a) won by 41 runs

 

 

 

 

Recorded Fines

 

25p unless otherwise stated.

 

 

Name

 

Fine

Reason

Cost

Ade S

Average Protection

 

 

 

Impersonating a Mister Man

Mr Noisy grunt ball

 

 

Impersonating Skippy

Midway through run-up

 

 

Impersonating a Mister Man

 

Mr Angry when no luck with ball anything like carrying

 

 

 

 

£1.00

Petr

Sportswear Avoidance

Was offered loan of whites but declined

 

 

Comedy Dismissal

Leaving a straight one

 

 

Dropped Catch

Low, flat, close, just about carried

£0.50

 

Cricket Avoidance

Getting high - flying kite while waiting to bat

 

 

 

 

£1.25

Steve P

Impersonating Judas

Playing for another team

 

 

Bodyline Bowling

Beamers

 

 

Having a Minor Cob

Anticipated on £5 fines invoice

 

 

Pub Avoidance

 

 

 

Gratuitous Swearing

'Fuck' ball

 

 

Hair Avoidance

Impersonating Jimmy Somerville

 

 

Impersonating a Military Officer

Royal Artillery Corps

 

 

Cricket Avoidance

Gossiping in outfield during play

 

 

Having a Parkinson's Cob

Vandalizing pitch after being out

£1.00

 

Having a Major Cob

After c&b chance

£0.50

 

Dropped Catch

Reached with fingertips

£0.50

 

Dropped Catch

C&B chance reached with fingertips

£0.50

 

Fine Avoidance

Fines committee avoidance

 

 

Impersonating a Drug Addict

Talking about le Tour de France

 

 

 

 

£5.00

Dave

Comedy Calling

Inaccurate calling

 

 

Cricket Avoidance

Gossiping in outfield during play

 

 

Self Importance

 

Claiming subject of gossip was more important than game

 

 

Dissing the Captain

Bullying

 

 

Dissing the Captain

Intimidation

 

 

Having a Minor Cob

Re fines

 

 

Duck Avoidance

 

 

 

Self Importance

"But I am important"

 

 

Self Importance

"I am very important"

 

 

Self Importance

"I am not unimportant"

 

 

 

 

£2.50

Jake

Dissing the Umpire

Re runs given as leg-byes

 

 

Self Importance

 

Adjusting scorebook claiming 2 runs; had been given as leg-byes

 

 

Impersonating Geoff Boycott

Slow scoring

 

 

Comedy Fielding

 

Called for overthrow then pulled out on collision course with Petr

 

 

Comedy Fielding

Bandy-legged nutmeg

 

 

Comedy Fielding

Sideways forward roll after dive in vain

 

 

 

 

£1.50

Ian

Trigger Finger

Mike's lbw

 

 

Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman

Er, this should have been 50p

 

 

Dissing The Team

Slagging off Jake behind back re misfield

 

 

Self Importance

Bowling self

 

 

Bodyline Bowling

Beamers

 

 

Comedy Dismissal

Bowled not playing a shot

 

 

Hearing Avoidance

Not hearing inside edge in Mike's lbw

 

 

 

 

£1.75

Richard

Comedy Dismissal

Played on

 

 

Self Importance

Denouncing marriage guidance

 

 

Impersonating Cool Hand Luke

'Good Arm Rich'

 

 

Excessive Nostalgia

Only scoring runs at Jordan Hill

 

 

Self Importance

Stealing Dave's catch

 

 

 

 

£1.25

Thornton

Fine Avoidance

Attempted avoidance of turn in fines cte

 

 

Ball Avoidance

Apparent ball magnet with same polarity as ball

 

 

Having a Minor Cob

Re suggestion of impersonating Andrew

 

 

Drinking On The Pitch

"Only to avoid spilling it on the pitch"

£0.50

 

 

 

£1.25

Matt

Fine Avoidance

Doing nothing much fineworthy

 

 

Feigning Injury

Illness, possibly self-inflicted

 

 

Self Importance Avoidance

Still doing nothing much fineworthy

 

 

 

 

£0.75

Mike C

Self Importance

Re dissing the captain

 

 

Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman

 

"You can all piss off … that was meant for the chair"

£0.50

 

Having a Minor Cob

Re dropped catch fine

 

 

Dropped Catch

Difficult leg side top edge

£0.50

 

Having a Minor Cob

Re self-importance fine

 

 

Dissing the Captain

Re lbw decision

 

 

Having a Minor Cob

Re lbw decision

 

 

Impersonating a Footballer

Use of feet 'keeping

 

 

 

 

£2.50

Ant

Impersonating Torville And Dean

Pirouette before throw

 

 

Jug Avoidance

4 wickets

 

 

Self Importance

"Otherwise a perfect game"

 

 

Duck

 

£0.50

 

 

 

£1.25

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

£20.00

 

 

 

*

 

 

Special Rates

 

 

Indiscretion

 

Cost

Duck

£0.50

Golden Duck

£1.00

Diamond or Platinum Duck

£2.00

Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit

£1.00

Dropped Catch

£0.50

Opening Bowler No Wicket

£0.50

Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance

£0.50

Smoking on the Pitch

£0.50

Drinking on the Pitch

£0.50

Missed Stumping

£0.50

Missed Run-Out

£0.50

Fines' Folder Abuse

£0.50

Impersonating Billy Liar

£0.50

Having a Major Cob

£0.50

Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)

£1.00

Uber [anything] – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending

£0.50

Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning

£0.50

Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman

£1.00

Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit)

Known as the “Dobner Clause”

£1.00

Swearing in Front of Kids

£2.50

Bringing the Club into Disrepute

(Ruled on by the Captain)

£5.00

Dissent (to On-field Umpires)

£5.00

Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)

x2