Far from the MCC fines 20.05.07 v Wootton & Bladon CC (a) won by 10 wkts

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Ade S	Impersonating a Mister Man
	Impersonating a White Matrix	Matrix-in-reverse t-shirt
	Impersonating Skippy
			£0.75
Steve D	In Denial	Of being smoker
	Self Importance Avoidance	Excessive humility: "Me, open the bowling?!?"
			£0.50
Dave	Abusing a Team Mate	Threatening to give Dan out
	Self Importance	Mini-cob
	Self Importance	Arguing with Fines Committee
	Self Importance	Buying house in Boar's Hill
	Impersonating Michael Fish	Waffling about rain-clouds coming from Dover
	Impersonating Michael Fish	Head in irrelevant clouds
	Dissent	When LBW appeal turned down	£0.50
			£2.00
Jake	Twinkle Avoidance	Not giving Dan out
	Failure to Recognize Boundary	Getting confused by athletics track
	Geography Avoidance	Not finding pub car park
	Self Importance	Abusing Fines Chairman position, attempting to gavel own fines early
			£1.00
Ian	Gratuitous Swearing
	Captaincy Incompetence	"Decide amongst yourselves where to field"
	Self Importance	Bowling too well to get wickets
	Changing Before End of Game	Without having batted
	Geography Avoidance	Getting lost before having left Oxford
	Inappropriate Urination
			£1.50
Richard	Failure to Recognize Boundary	Getting confused by athletics track
	Nickname Avoidance	Not waiting 6 years since last appearance
	Comedy Fielding	Diving to stop ball after crossed boundary
	Self Importance	Proposing own fines
	Willing a Team Mate to Get Out	So would get bat
	Taking Own Name in Vain	"Oh Lord"
			£1.50
James H	Bullying a Small Child	Taking wicket of
	Pub Avoidance	After game
	Inappropriate Footwear	In casino
	Falling Asleep During Game
	Impersonating Mike C	Making up non-existent hotel room number & floor
	Fine Entrapment	Leading Mike astray
	Impersonating a Tramp
			£1.75
Mike C	Grumbling	"Productive day," sarcastically
	Harbouring Dark Thoughts	Secretly hating us
	Hat Avoidance
	Fielding with Hands in Pockets
	Dissing the Captain
	Self Importance	Arguing with Fines Committee
	Fine Entrapment	Leading James astray
	Self Importance	"Fines only for events on day of match"
	Self Importance	Impersonating Fines Committee Chairman
	Impersonating a Spina Bifida Victim
	Income Protection	Not giving Dan out
			£2.75
Gary	Aggressive Ushering
	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	Missed Stumping	Though probably wouldn't have been given anyway	£0.50
	Bullying a Small Child	Aggressive appealing
	Average Protection
	Harbouring Dark Thoughts	Re Stump Abuse fine
			£2.00
Ant	Opening Bowler No Wicket		£0.50
	Expressing Dark Thoughts	Writing black comedies
	Impersonating Mike C	Claimed been jogging in park but was seen walking
	Impersonating Glen McGrath
	Comedy Fielding	Dive after ball passed
	Dissent		£0.50
			£2.00
Dan	Average Protection	As per usual
	Records Avoidance	Could have carried bat without scoring boundary
	Grumbling	At not getting a bowl; excessive hinting
	Fielding with Hands in Pockets	As per usual
	Blaming Tools	Bat was too heavy
	Failure to Control Pet	Allowing Joe Puppy to run on pitch
			£1.50
		TOTAL	£17.25

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Uber [anything] – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending	£0.50
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2