“The Final Frontier”

Match: 07 / 150

Won by 4 wkts

Team	Total
Astons CC	122
A. Mann 4 - 9, J. Harris 2 - 14
FFTMCC	123 - 6
S. Parkinson 39, D. Edwards 38*

And so with a splash of dazzling sunshine we reached the end of the season. An occasion for a hero to put his finest foot forward. A hero who has spent years wowing great British crowds to their feet with deeds of athleticism and vigour. I am of course talking about Tim Henman whose house overlooks the splendid vista of Aston Tirrold, home of the Astons Cricket Club. For the record, his house is an impressive but drab affair. He apparently has a tennis court in the grounds and could be heard shouting abuse at his missus and assembled guests for the last BBQ of the year. Allegedly he comes to watch the cricket, so why not us? Did he have a sneaky look from his third floor loo and decide the standard was not up to much? He’d have been wrong.

Tim Henman’s pokey council house.

Trains, planes and bikes (Mr. Parkinson’s lycra should get an asbo) brought us from all over the country. Would there be a hero in our throng? Would someone with big feet and a big heart step forward to take control of the match? We’ll find out readers. We’ll find out….

Colonel Mustard greeted us one and all on arrival. A 6ft 3 beast of an OAP with every weekend of his dwindling years spent umpiring with the officialdom of Dickie Bird. A wink and a Masonic scratch on ball five of every single over certainly caught those of us sharing umpiring duties unaware. “Is that old man making a pass at me?” I thought as another four was whipped to the boundary by Dan the Man. I was glad to know it was all part of a strange set of rules that besieged the day. We played a mix of Twenty20 and Test Match rules with a draw possible and 20 overs played by the second team batting as long as it was after 3.23pm (but only on the second weekend of the third semester etc etc etc).

A. Mann (bowling) rolled back the years in a champagne display.

Being the professional outfit we are we all got dressed and took to the field. Inspection of the wicket revealed an alopecia style strip with a swarm of little flies to keep everyone on their toes. The flies are well known for their love of cricket and indeed have recently started their own league with other flies from across the south east of Oxfordshire. They are only small of course so have opted for a 20Twenty league and who knows - may build up, over time, towards test cricket? Good luck to them.

Our big footed hero (with his big heart) stepped forward and began his earnest quest for glory. A. ‘McGrath’ Mann (9.5-6-9-4) bowled with precision and swing and frustrated the decent looking opening partnership of Smith and Clark. Clark soon fell to Mann followed by Smith, the victim of Mann’s first catch of the day. Dew the captain followed and Mann was looking to at a hat-trick as well the possibility of taking all 10 wickets. He was on fire.

D. Edwards’ steak pies got no mention in the match report.

S. Parkinson (7-2-19-0) kept the runs down at the other end and the pressure mounted. It was almost as if the whole season, day and innings was leading to what would happen next…. M. Reeves running in to bowl with energy bursting from every sinew, the ball swinging into the batsmen, a swing of the bat, leather flying over mid on and a certain four…. wait, A. Mann is leaping into the air, he’s literally taken off, time has stopped, the ball has slammed into his right hand, he’s landed, he’s gone and fuckin’ well caught it! A momentary pause and the team run from all corners of the ground to slap backs. What a catch…. Collingwood, Jonty Rhodes would have been proud. Our tail was up, with more wickets for Reeves (6-1-16-2) and J. Harris (4-0-14-2). There was smoking on the pitch but quickly snuffed out by a rather tetchy Dickie Bird. Fags out (though smoking was resumed just off the pitch shortly after), apologies all round and back to the action.

Really gripping stuff, guys.

Our fielding was excellent with fine stops, catches and throwing to our very own Mr. Bullock behind the wood. Our Captain for the day, Mr. Dobner, made his claim to take over from I. Howarth next year, with a series of fine bowling changes. A flurry of late batting (Napper 27) took our competitors to 122. This was a polished and professional performance from a fine group of athletes.

A fine spread for tea, more Henman spotting and some scratching of heads as we tried to understand the bizarre rules. Moo and Danny Boy took to the field loud and proud, confident of seeing off the runs in one go. It was slow going. The pitch was not easy with variable bounce and a bit of swing. Still, a decent start before Moo (0) was bowled by Napper. He was unlucky. The ball didn’t bounce. In walks Lucan playing a cover drive for four and back foot off drive for 3 (the author indulging in two of his own shots – forgive me and fine me). And then a short ball, low bounce, bat on ball, ball span backwards, nudged stump, single bail fell off and their whole team jumped, leaped, shouted, kissed and embraced. Is Lucan (7) that good? NO. Napper had taken his 500^th wicket (over 19 years). A great achievement and no consolation whatsoever for Lucan.

D. Edwards’ 38* anchored The MAD innings home.

The batting continued with Steve Parky playing well for 39 including a six. His last innings for the FFTMCC for a while as he migrates somewhere up north – a fool of course. The north smells and they can’t play cricket (apart from Durham, Lancashire, Yorkshire, Notts and Scotland). Good luck and we look forward to seeing you next year at some point. Dan played the bad ball well and with a quick fire 11 from Reevsie we moved towards victory with apparent ease. Umpires continued to wink at each other and the sun began to slowly shrink behind a copse of sycamores (or whatever they were)…. It could have been touch and go at certain points, but a backbone innings from Dan Edwards (38*) ensured a winning end to the season.

From a personal point of view it’s been a pleasure to play a few times this year and contribute a few runs in at least one match. I look forward to The MAD AGM and nets in the winter.

A. Mann – man of the match and champagne moment. His day.

‘Lord Lucan’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Astons CC Played at Aston Tirrold, 9 September 2007 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to field Far from the MCC won by 4 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none

07 / 150 Timed match

Team	Astons CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	R. A. Smith +	c and b Mann	15
2	N. Clark	b Mann	3
3	T. Dew *	b Mann	0
4	D. Barlow	b Reeves	12
5	I. Gibson	c Mann b Reeves	17
6	G. Smith	b Harris	7
7	J. Shea	b Hoskins	5
8	A. Napper	b Edwards	27
9	M. Wigg	b Harris	0
10	S. Smith	not out	14
11	L. Gray	lbw b Mann	5
	Extras	(NB6, W6, LB1, B4)	17
	TOTAL	(all out, 39.5 overs)	122

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Parkinson	7	2	19	0
2	Mann	9.5	6	9	4
3	Reeves	6	1	16	2
4	Hoskins	5	0	26	1
5	Harris	4	0	14	2
6	Smith	3	0	15	0
7	Dobner	2	0	5	0
8	Edwards	3	1	13	1

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	M. T. Westmoreland	b Napper	0		-	-	1-1
2	D. M. Edwards	not out	38		3	-	-
3	R. J. B. Hadfield	b Napper	7		1	-	2-16
4	S. B. Parkinson	c Clark b Dew	39		5	1	3-84
5	T. P. W. Smith	b Shea	4		1	-	4-101
6	M. K. Reeves	c Barlow b Dew	11		2	-	5-116
7	J. Harris	c Shea b Napper	4		1	-	6-122
8	M. Bullock +	not out	0		-	-	-
9	J. D. Hoskins
10	S. L. P. Dobner *
11	A. G. Mann
	Extras	(NB8, W6, LB2, B4)	20
	TOTAL	(for 6 wickets, 37.1 overs)	123

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Napper	9	5	19	3
2	Gray	7	1	22	0
3	S. Smith	6	1	13	0
4	Wigg	7	3	15	0
5	Shea	4	0	20	1
6	Dew	4.1	0	23	2

MOTM: A. G. Mann Champagne Moment: A. G. Mann’s leaping, jaw-dropping catch of the millennium! Buffet Award: J. D. Hoskins’ underrated vegetarian chilli (with chilli rice)

Opposition: V046 / 01 Ground: G035 / 01 Captain: C008 / 04