Far from the MCC fines 03.08.08 v R. T. Harris (h) lost by 87 runs

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Thornton	Having a Minor Cob	When out
	Having a Minor Cob	At Jake immediately demanding pads
	Duck		£0.50
	Smoking on The Pitch		£0.50
	Inappropriate Urination
			£1.75
Dan	Having a Minor Cob	At being told to “Get back in the hut”
	Tinkering with The Field	Moving Thorn from where catch next went
	Turning Up Late	For opening the batting (someone said he was at 3)
			£0.75
Matt	Average Protection
	Interfering with Aircraft Flight Paths	With bowling – biplane display had to be cancelled
	Inappropriate Apologizing	For well-flighted ball
			£0.75
Dave	Blaming the Credit Crunch	On lack of inflation of fines levels
	Match Report Avoidance
	Impersonating a Farmer	Agricultural batting
	Impersonating David Gower	Batting in white hat
	Self Importance	Comparing self to David Gower
	Dissing the Team	Sarcastically describing as Gazelle-like
	Fine Avoidance	Through not playing previously this season
	Impersonating Lord Lucan	Having disappeared since end of last season
	Building Work Avoidance	Playing despite not completing work on house
	Self Importance	“You can’t get me for anything else!”
	Impersonating Billy Liar	Claiming insolvency despite living in Boar’s Hill
	Impersonating a Tourist	“Can you change a £50?”
			£3.00
Geoff	Batting Avoidance	Wanting to be timed out
	Self Importance	“I got a 50 yesterday”
	Self Importance	“’Gazelle-like’ – that must have been me”
	Feigning Injury	Shoulder – throwing underarm
			£1.00
Ian H	Dropped Catch	Tipped over for 6	£0.50
	Being Sledged by The Scorer	“Hit it you twat” from James
	Impersonating the Elephant Man	Wisdom teeth extraction
	Losing The Toss
	Grumbling	About the weather
	Grumbling	About lack of form
	Resignation	Having cobbed self into passivity
	Harbouring Dark Thoughts	Passive cobbing
			£2.25
Ant	Catch Avoidance	“I could have made more of an effort to go for that catch”
	Losing The Toss	Which decided who was run out
	Resignation	About losing the run-out toss
	Impersonating Billy Liar	Telling Dan he was batting at 3 causing lateness padding up to open	£0.50
	Self Importance	“I got two very good wickets”
	Fine Entrapment	To Ade: “Don’t bloody get out” – leading to run out fiasco
	Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	“Bastard”	£0.50
			£2.25
Ade S	Self Importance	“I took a really good catch”
	Cycling Avoidance	Said would cycle to game
	Lift-Offering Avoidance	But drove so could’ve given Dan lift after all
	Catch Avoidance	Allowing Martin to take catch
	Impersonating a Mister Man	Mr Greedy with spuds in pub
	Potato Avoidance	Not eating last potato
	Bowling Avoidance	“That’s enough bowling for me for today” after just 2 overs
	Excessive Celebration	Of catch
	Average Protection
	Run Avoidance	When Ant lofted ball to mid off and was dropped
	Average Protection	Returning back to crease to avoid being the one run out
	Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	“Git”	£0.50
	Ambition Avoidance	In insult “Git”
			£3.50
Jake	Dropped Catch		£0.50
	2x Comedy Fielding	Late dives	£0.50
	Cob Entrapment	Asking for Thorn’s pads too soon
	Impersonating a 1970’s Rock Star	Or various other long-haired celebrities no-one’s heard of
	Self Importance	“Only one [long-haired person] impersonation fine”
			£1.75
Gary	Self Importance	“Great take” (when keeping) – meant to say “Great ball”
	Having a Minor Cob	Re dark conditions when out
	Pub Avoidance	Leaving game early to beat Sunday evening rush hour
			£0.75
Martin	Hogging the Fielding	5 catches
	Jug Avoidance	Buying of
	Impersonating a Clown	Juggling fourth catch
	Pub Avoidance
			£1.00
		TOTAL	£19.25

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Uber [anything] – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending	£0.50
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2