“Back to Reality for The MAD Collective”
Match: 08 / 160
Won by 4 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
Wootton & Bladon CC |
126 - 6 |
|
JP
Collins 3 - 30, A. Darley
2 - 26 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
127 - 6 |
|
M.
Westmoreland 71, D. Edwards
27 |
|
|
After the regal opulence
of last week’s visit to Blenheim Palace, it was down to earth with a bump as The
MAD played hosts to the Fat Boys of Wootton & Bladon at Stratfield Brake.
And what would the fat boys like?
Pies of course. And who is the FFTMCC’s pie providing extraordinaire? Mr. A. J. Fisher of course. Unfortunately, Adie
considered a Saturday night on the piss incompatible with a Sunday
afternoon’s cricket and therefore a late replacement was required – thanks to
JP for stepping into the breach.
Dan – the
ball is behind you! With Howarth being placed in charge of access to the
clubhouse (lunatics, asylum anyone?) the first task was navigating the
burglar alarm system. A visit from Kidlington’s finest was narrowly avoided
as he punched the correct combination with only seconds to spare. The skipper
then lost the toss (naturally) and The MAD soon found themselves in the field
(naturally). In harness with Mr. Dobner (6-0-17-0), Mr. Darley
(7-1-26-2) was soon causing problems as he snared both the Wootton openers.
His figures would have been a darned sight better too, but for the profligate
slip fielding to end any such notion (thanks JP). First change produced a miserly spell from one time
batsman but now wannabe bowler I. Howarth (7-2-15-0), whilst at the other end
JP. Collins recovered from a disastrous first over to post the highly
respectable figures of 7-1-30-3. Mr. Reeves (5-0-27-0) threw down his nagging
left armers that proved seemingly un-nagging, whereas the tweak and sorcery of
J. D. Hoskins (3-1-10-1) limited the visitor’s total to an imminently
gettable 126-6. And fair play to Wootton for awarding three decisions against
themselves. There was no cheating here, just the upholding of the laws of
cricket and very much respect to them.
Nobody
envisaged The MAD collapsing from this position… other than themselves. With the match now halfway through, the real contest
was about to begin – a clash of the titans! In the red corner, the massed
ranks of the Fat Boys, and in the blue corner Adie Small. It was a mismatch; Wootton
didn’t stand a chance, Adie won by four ham sandwiches and a Swiss roll as he
flayed all the buffet before him. The MAD reply was centred round the stoic and talented
efforts of D. M. Edwards (27) and M. T. Westmoreland (71). Having seen off
the opening bowlers and moving along nicely, Dan would suddenly be rapped on
the pads. Umpire Hoskins had absolutely no hesitation in raising his finger.
Jake, sitting in the score box some 100 yards away from the action behind half
an inch of Plexiglas, claimed to have heard the sound of bat first. Whatever,
Dan had to go – with the hastily assembled Cobometer on the boundary, seeing
its needle flickering somewhere between ‘massive’
and ‘Steve Parkinson proportions’, The
MAD’s erstwhile gardener disappeared from view….
Martin (71)
was clearly at fault for not shepherding the tail [starting at #3]. Realising that Wootton were now into The MAD tail, Martin
immediately assumed responsibility for shepherding his teammates as best he
could. Adie Small, batting at #3, arrived sporting a pair of ice skates, thus
enabling a triple salco in the middle of the pitch as he dived several feet
short of his ground scampering a single. Fortunately the visitors took pity /
were laughing too much to affect a run out. Their charity did not extend long
however and Adie was caught (0) soon after. A. Morley (4) played a nice little pissed cameo, whilst
J. Hotson (1) was blunted in his attempt to secure the most ducks in a season
ever, although no one can quite remember where today’s run came from. Mr.
Hoskins (5) arrived thereafter to restore some stability, but only saw Martin
fall 13 runs short of the target. With only 5 wickets remaining now, this was
going to be a close finish. At this point, The MAD had no batsmen padded up
whatsoever. None. Dashing from the scorebox to begin a ‘padding up’ race with
his skipper, Mr. Reeves blurted out that “this could be [his] last chance
this season – what with [Ian’s] ridiculous selection policy of keeping the
best batsman in the lower order.” With Howarth relenting, Reeves walked out
to bat, but the drama still wasn’t over, with Wootton timing the fall of
Westmoreland’s wicket the three minutes were nearly up…. They counted down as
Mike sprinted to the crease (although technically don’t you just need to make
it on to the pitch?) Would he make it, or become the first player ever to be “timed out” for The MAD?
Find out in our next thrilling episode…. He made it. Just.
The Bench of
Cob (left to right): didn’t bat,
shocking ‘plumb’ lbw, and a duck. With J. Hoskins receiving a peach from S. Poole, it
thus bought Howarth (5*) to the crease – a man so woefully out of form with
the bat as to look fucking clueless. His innings was encapsulated by one ball
which looped gently down about three feet outside off, which Howarth swished
wildly at only to see it balloon off the top edge to slip. Fortunately, once
again Wootton were in benevolent mood / were laughing too much / had too much
inertia to overcome to move forward to catch the fucking thing. Howarth
survived and the paltry requirement was achieved. A Mad double over one of the teams we judge ourselves
by. A good game played in a good spirit. ‘Someone’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Wootton
& Bladon CC Played at Stratfield Brake, 20 July
2008 Wootton & Bladon CC won
the toss and elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 4 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
08 / 160 35 over match |
|
Team |
Wootton & Bladon CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
A. Hambridge |
lbw b Darley |
6 |
|
|
|
1-18 |
|
2 |
N. Hambridge |
b Darley |
13 |
|
|
|
2-32 |
|
3 |
T. Clapham |
lbw b Collins |
10 |
|
|
|
3-59 |
|
4 |
N. Clifton |
not out |
48 |
|
|
|
- |
|
5 |
D. De Bono |
c Darley b Collins |
4 |
|
|
|
4-64 |
|
6 |
S. Poole * |
c Dobner b Collins |
7 |
|
|
|
5-85 |
|
7 |
T. Poole + |
lbw b Hoskins |
21 |
|
|
|
6-123 |
|
8 |
T. Argenio |
not out |
2 |
|
|
|
- |
|
9 |
W. Dale |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
S. Edwards |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W11, LB10) |
21 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 6 wickets, 35 overs) |
126 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Dobner |
6 |
0 |
17 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Darley |
7 |
1 |
26 |
2 |
|
|
3 |
Howarth |
7 |
2 |
15 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Collins |
7 |
1 |
30 |
3 |
|
|
5 |
Reeves |
5 |
0 |
27 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Hoskins |
3 |
1 |
10 |
1 |
|
|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
D. M. Edwards |
lbw b S. Poole |
27 |
(53) |
3 |
- |
1-80 |
|
2 |
M. T. Westmoreland + |
b S. Poole |
71 |
(72) |
11 |
1 |
3-114 |
|
3 |
A. Small |
c Argenio b Clapham |
0 |
(5) |
- |
- |
2-101 |
|
4 |
A. Morley |
b N. Hambridge |
4 |
(14) |
- |
- |
4-114 |
|
5 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
c T. Poole b N. Hambridge |
1 |
(5) |
- |
- |
5-115 |
|
6 |
J. D. Hoskins |
b S. Poole |
5 |
(4) |
1 |
- |
6-119 |
|
7 |
M. K. Reeves |
not out |
0 |
(3) |
- |
- |
- |
|
8 |
I. Howarth * |
not out |
5 |
(6) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
9 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
J. P. Collins |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
A. Darley |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB2, W2, LB1, B10) |
15 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 6 wickets, 26.4 overs) |
128 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Edwards |
7 |
0 |
28 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Clifton |
7 |
2 |
20 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Clapham |
4 |
0 |
27 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
S. Poole |
6 |
1 |
29 |
3 |
|
|
5 |
N. Hambridge |
2.4 |
0 |
12 |
2 |
|
|
MOTM: M. T. Westmoreland Champagne Moment: M. T. Westmoreland’s
straight six Buffet
Award: M. K. Reeves’ chocco chip
buns (with nuts) |
Opposition:
V027 / 11 Ground: G032 / 05 Captain: C007 / 40 |