“Buffet Inspector’s Report”

Match: 08 / 161

Lost by 192 runs

Team	Total
Cholsey CC	253 - 6
A. Mann 3 - 34
FFTMCC	61
A. Mann 17

As an experienced and qualified Buffet Inspector it has been my privilege over the years to inspect a large number of buffets provided by some of the finest chefs in the UK. As all connoisseurs know, there are two key elements in the provision of a sumptuous buffet – quality and quantity – and I’m pleased to say that a buffet which I lately inspected in the south Oxfordshire village of Cholsey met both these criteria in abundance. In fact, to my great delight, this buffet, provided by members of the Oxford-based cricket team Far From The MCC, for the consumption of the Cholsey side, exceeded my expectations in just about every aspect. Indeed, I would go so far as to say that this was one of the finest buffets I have inspected in recent memory, and was a deserved winner of this month’s regional Fat Pig Gluttony Award.

The buffet supplied by Sidley last year closely resembled The Mad’s offerings.

A further indicator of a superior buffet is that all the chefs involved provide expertly crafted dishes to be consumed, and this buffet fitted that bill as well. Here is the menu, as prepared for the Cholsey team on a hot Sunday in July, 2008:

Hors d’oeuvres

* Selection of canapés, vol-au-vents and light cheeses (A. Darley)

* Cold cuts (liverwurst, mortadella, chorizo), crudités with vinaigrette, bruschetta (A. Mann)

Main course

Choice of –

* Sliced meat (turkey, ham and roast beef), chicken wings, ribs (I. Howarth)

* Chicken salad, sturgeon, smoked salmon (N. Hebbes)

Dessert

* Danish pastries, jam tarts, chocolate éclairs (M. Reeves)

* Cheesecake, assorted biscuits, lemon meringue pie (A. Small)

Additional dishes

* Sausage rolls (S. Dobner)

Needless to say, with such a fine assortment of tempting dishes on offer, the cricketers of Cholsey gorged themselves senseless for several hours until they could gorge no more. And who can blame them?

‘The Buffet Inspector’