Far from the MCC fines 27.07.08 v Cholsey CC (a) lost by 192 runs

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Ade S	Average protection
	Rubbish defence	When batting
	Excessive celebration	After wicket
	Food left at tea interval	Failure to eat it all
	Excessive bling	Del Trotter
	Impersonating Jake	Diving over ball
			£1.50
Ant	Dropped catch	Comically so	50p
	Comedy fielding	Abysmal effort for skier
	Self importance x 2		50p
	Opening partnership < 25
	Enjoying fielding	In the heat
	Failure to adapt	3 days in Cholsey (painting)
			£2.00
Ian L	Dropped catch		50p
	Denial
	Duck		50p
	Havana Club	Appearance
	Havana Club	Avoidance
	Arriving early for match	After Stag-do (lightweight)
	Out of character	Turning up at all
	Loaf avoidance	Not eating all pub food bought
	Lying	Not telling the whole story
	Cob
			£3.00
Nick	Impersonating Ant	Crap catching
	Dropped catches x 3		£1.50
	Failure to adapt x 2	Lives in Cholsey for god’s sake!	50p
	Kit bag avoidance
	Dissing Morlers	Lowering his own standards to his level
	Littering
	Cob	Batting
	Self importance	“I live here – shuttup!”
	Sulking	Leaving match to go to off licence when out
	Being out of character	Being surly
			£4.00
Ian H	Captaincy avoidance
	Reading newspaper	In outfield (during match)
	Being a tight-arse	Reading Daily Mirror
	Being an Ian	Too many of them
	Dissing team	“You’re all shit”
	Joy	At Steve D losing toss
	Blagging alcohol	Off team mates
	Excessive despair	At another low score
	Dark thoughts x 2		50p
	Insulting fines chairman	Aimed at Nick
	Cob	At earlier dismissal
			£3.00
Andy D	Nicking snout
	Agreeing with Thorn	Thorn talks shit
	Smoking on pitch		50p
	Self entrapment
	Cob
	Navigational incompetence	Getting Ian lost on way to game
	Bribing Mr. Small
			£2.00
Andy M	Out of character	Drinking low-strength lager
	Duck		50p
	Dropped catch		50p
			£1.25
Mike R	Excessive tiredness	After bowling 2 overs
	Reminiscing after thrashing	Marlborough House days
	Self entrapment
	Impersonating Keystone Cops	Crap fielding
			£1.00
Steve D	Losing the toss
	Impersonating a child
	Duck avoidance
	Moaning	About his shin splints
	Dropped catch		50p
	Poor example	To team
	Self importance
	Being a dick	Allowing Kim to crash his car into their house
	Glory hunting	Bowling last over
	Threatening behaviour	Towards fines chairman (Nick)
	Insulting the fines chairman	Nick	50p
	Cob
			£3.50
James	Impersonating Paul Downton	Keeping attire (80’s retro)
	Missed stumping x 2		£1.00
	Keeping no pads
	Excessive optimism
	Impersonating Ed Lester
	Encouraging Ben to take drugs	Not a good idea currently
	Cob x 2		50p
	Duck		50p
			£3.25
Thorn	Self importance
	Class snobbery	His upbringing (Henley)
	Wanting to be fined	Prick
	Liking his dismissal	To “ball of the century”
			£1.00
		TOTAL	£25.50

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Uber [anything] – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending	£0.50
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2