Far
from the MCC fines 22.06.08
v Lemmings (h) lost by 2 wkts
Recorded
Fines
25p unless otherwise stated.
|
Name |
Fine |
Reason |
Cost
|
|
Nick |
Impersonating The Umpire |
When bails
came off: “…you must be out then” |
|
|
|
Pub Avoidance |
Before
game – leaving James on own |
|
|
|
Self
Importance |
Accusing
Ian & Gary of not supporting appeal |
|
|
|
Impersonating a Cowboy |
Saloon
swing slog |
|
|
|
Inappropriate Coaching |
Telling
Gary to ‘calm down’ |
|
|
|
Impersonating the Captain |
Non-consultation
re field changes as bowler |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.50 |
|
James |
Impersonating an Alcoholic |
Going to
pub alone before game |
|
|
|
2x Having a Minor Cob |
|
£0.50 |
|
|
Impersonating a Prison Warder |
Locking
exit from changing room |
|
|
|
Merchandising |
Incorrectly
– ‘Yodafone’ |
|
|
|
Catch Avoidance |
Aerial lob
chance |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.50 |
|
Geoff |
Dropped Catch |
|
£0.50 |
|
|
Impersonating a Footballer |
|
|
|
|
Self
Importance |
Getting
drink for (bruised) finger |
|
|
|
Feigning Injury |
Throwing
underarm from boundary |
|
|
|
Excessive Aggression |
Unnatural
batting |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.50 |
|
Thorn |
Turning Up Late |
|
|
|
|
Pub Avoidance |
Before
game – leaving James on own |
|
|
|
Comedy Fielding |
Sieve-like
barrier |
|
|
|
Smoking On The Pitch |
|
£0.50 |
|
|
Comedy Fielding |
Kneeing
ball over boundary for winning runs |
|
|
|
Lazy Fielding |
Tempting
and allowing 2nd run |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.75 |
|
Ian L |
Impersonating Jake |
In the
field |
|
|
|
Turning Up Late |
Did not
know was playing |
|
|
|
Roast Avoidance |
Was having
salad for Sunday lunch |
|
|
|
Communication Avoidance |
Not
reading emails |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.00 |
|
Gary |
Catch Avoidance |
Looped
over head in blind spot from helmet |
|
|
|
Pub Avoidance |
Before
game – leaving James on own |
|
|
|
Sportswear Incompetence |
Holding
game up changing sunglasses lens |
|
|
|
Having a Minor Cob |
Cob-like ‘statement’:
“My ’keeping was shit” |
|
|
|
Hogging the Luck |
Dropped 6
times |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.25 |
|
Ian H |
Pub Avoidance |
Before
game – leaving James on own |
|
|
|
Communication Avoidance |
Not
suggesting pub in pre-match email |
|
|
|
Grumbling |
About
weather since Tuesday |
|
|
|
Cricket Avoidance |
Hardly
batted or fielded and didn’t bowl |
|
|
|
Captaincy Avoidance |
Allowing
Nick to take over |
|
|
|
Catch Avoidance |
Hobbling
towards ball |
|
|
|
Captaincy Incompetence |
Fielding
self as sweeper with gammy hamstring |
|
|
|
Average Protection |
Retiring |
|
|
|
Drinks Avoidance |
They were
still ready waiting to be taken out at end of innings |
|
|
|
Luncheon Interruption |
Of Ian L
when checking was on way |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.50 |
|
Steve D |
Pub Avoidance |
Before
game – leaving James on own |
|
|
|
Grumbling |
About
bowling uphill |
|
|
|
Grumbling |
About
bowling into wind |
|
|
|
Grumbling |
About
bowling against wind |
|
|
|
Self
Importance |
Claimed
broke 80mph bowling with wind |
|
|
|
Grumbling |
About
being told to get on with it |
|
|
|
Grumbling |
About
having 2 kids |
|
|
|
Having a Minor Cob |
“Fuck
off,” when asked to field on boundary |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Ade S |
Pub Avoidance |
Before
game – leaving James on own |
|
|
|
Comedy Appealing |
For LBW
3ft outside off |
|
|
|
Merchandising |
Vodafone
shirt |
|
|
|
Self
Importance |
Impersonating
England cricketer with shirt |
|
|
|
Impersonating a Fashion Victim |
Crazy
stripy socks |
|
|
|
Average Protection |
|
|
|
|
Captain’s Orders Avoidance |
Did not
take requested hat-trick |
|
|
|
Run Avoidance |
Followed
by comedy slide when eventually ran and miraculously made ground |
|
|
|
Excessive Appealing |
Every ball |
|
|
|
Retracting an Appeal |
|
|
|
|
Grumbling |
About
probably being last in queue for tea when had to bat at end of innings |
|
|
|
Umpire Obstruction |
Running on
pitch so umpire couldn’t see to give LBW |
|
|
|
|
|
£3.00 |
|
John |
Pub Avoidance |
Before
game – leaving James on own |
|
|
|
Pub Avoidance |
After game |
|
|
|
Threatening a Team Mate |
To Nick re
LBW: “We’ll talk about that later” |
|
|
|
Duck Avoidance |
|
|
|
|
|
|
£1.00 |
|
Jake |
Duck |
|
|
|
|
Pub Avoidance |
Before
game – leaving James on own |
|
|
|
Geography Avoidance |
Not being
able to find pub before game |
|
|
|
Merchandising |
Incompetently
– ‘To the pub’ t-shirt |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.25 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
£22.20 |
*
Special
Rates
|
Indiscretion |
Cost |
|
Duck |
£0.50 |
|
Golden Duck |
£1.00 |
|
Diamond or Platinum Duck |
£2.00 |
|
Out Playing Reverse-sweep /
Switch-hit |
£1.00 |
|
Dropped Catch |
£0.50 |
|
Opening Bowler No Wicket |
£0.50 |
|
Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance |
£0.50 |
|
Smoking on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Drinking on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Missed Stumping |
£0.50 |
|
Missed Run-Out |
£0.50 |
|
Fines' Folder Abuse |
£0.50 |
|
Impersonating Billy Liar |
£0.50 |
|
Having a Major Cob |
£0.50 |
|
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter
meltdown) |
£1.00 |
|
Uber [anything] – particularly
arrogant, smug or condescending |
£0.50 |
|
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning |
£0.50 |
|
Insulting the Fines Committee
Chairman |
£1.00 |
|
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum
limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause” |
£1.00 |
|
Swearing in Front of Kids |
£2.50 |
|
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain) |
£5.00 |
|
Dissent (to On-field Umpires) |
£5.00 |
|
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose) |
x2 |