“The Foreign Country Inspector’s Report

Of a Country that is not Foreign

But Sometimes seems to be”

Match: 13 / 167

Lost by 43 runs

Team	Total
Wootton & Boars Hill CC	161 – 6
S. Dobner 2 - 31
FFTMCC	118
S. Dobner 37, I. Howarth 36

As an inspector of foreign countries, it has often been my privilege to inspect a country which is foreign, sometimes for periods of up to 14 years. In this case, however, it falls to me to inspect a country which is not actually foreign to me, but due to the length of time away from said sovereign state, the country in question can in some respects seem like a foreign land.

One novel phenomenon I have noticed about this country is the constant advertising of premature ejaculation therapies on the radio, in the newspapers and on billboards everywhere. If these advertisements are to be believed, fifty percent of the male population here are afflicted by this condition – although of course I am not one of them.

Dude is the Foreign Country Inspector (right)….

Otherwise, these two countries appear to be exactly the same: they both have a desk with a computer on it, and the computer in question is connected to the internet, and it is possible to access exactly the same websites I used to when living in my previous country.

Except for the BBC. Apparently you can’t watch BBC TV unless you are actually living in the UK and paying the license fee, and all they have here is some crap subscription channel called UKTV which shows nothing except Coronation Street and repeats of Dad’s Army from four hundred and twenty-eight years ago. Bastards.

‘The Foreign Inspector’