Far
from the MCC fines
25.04.10 v Wootton & Boars Hill CC
(a) won by 9 wkts
Recorded
Fines
25p unless otherwise stated.
|
Name |
Fine |
Reason |
Cost
|
|
JMO |
Goose |
Possession
of |
|
|
|
Cob |
Whilst
running |
|
|
|
Drop |
|
50p |
|
|
Cob |
|
|
|
|
Demanding respect |
From a
13yr old |
|
|
|
Incontinence |
Pissing in
outfield |
|
|
|
Blaming Stevie D |
For
dropped catch |
|
|
|
Dissing skipper |
For his
fielding in slip cordon |
|
|
|
Missing catching cradle |
Whilst
throwing at cradle |
|
|
|
Stoning opposition |
With missed
aim at cradle |
|
|
|
Use of hairdresser’s car |
Porsche |
|
|
|
Losing interest in his bowling |
After just
4 overs |
|
|
|
Purposely dropped catch |
So Mad had
decent total to chase |
|
|
|
|
|
£3.50 |
|
Dave E |
Shitting himself |
Awaiting a
bat |
|
|
|
Failure to bowl out overs |
Bowled
only 7out of potential 8 |
|
|
|
Wearing Long Johns |
In summer |
|
|
|
Impersonating Albert Steptoe |
Long Johns |
|
|
|
Smoking on the pitch |
|
50p |
|
|
Being smug |
No duck on
this day |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.75 |
|
Dan |
Comedy fielding |
Allowing
boundary through legs |
|
|
|
Cob avoidance |
After lbw
dismissal |
|
|
|
Dog avoidance |
No Joe
Puppy |
|
|
|
Bowling avoidance |
|
|
|
|
|
|
£1.00 |
|
Nick |
Taking his time |
Doing
everything |
|
|
|
Running backwards |
He’s that
slow |
|
|
|
Pub avoidance |
Before
match |
|
|
|
Maiming opposition keeper |
Sweeping
ball at him |
|
|
|
Cob |
|
|
|
|
Poor positional advice |
JMO at
slip |
|
|
|
Puik avoidance |
Avoiding
Ben’s sick |
|
|
|
Average protection |
|
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Steve D |
Ryan Air avoidance |
|
|
|
|
Overweight and slow |
In field |
|
|
|
Threatening behaviour |
Martin
Griffin in a body bag |
|
|
|
Umpire avoidance |
Doing a
decent job |
|
|
|
Laughing at Ian |
Whilst
umpiring |
|
|
|
Socks avoidance |
|
|
|
|
“Dobner Clause” activation |
£1 maximum
fine |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.00 |
|
Mike R |
Hogging game |
Fielding |
|
|
|
Cob |
Not
batting |
|
|
|
Poor preporation
for game |
|
|
|
|
Wrong pub after game |
|
|
|
|
New bat avoidance |
|
|
|
|
Flashbacks to 2006 |
Not
batting |
|
|
|
Comedy fielding |
|
|
|
|
Living in the past |
Forming a
Marlborough House fielding cordon with D. Edwards |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Ian H |
Dropping anchor |
With Nick |
|
|
|
Playing maiden over |
With
Mongoose bat |
|
|
|
Instigating slow hand-clap |
With
Mongoose bat |
|
|
|
Protecting Nick’s average |
Seeing him
to 50 |
|
|
|
Average protection |
|
|
|
|
Throwing bat |
With
miscued pull |
|
|
|
Drop |
|
50p |
|
|
Missed stumping |
|
50p |
|
|
Moaning at JMO |
About his
dropped catch |
|
|
|
Hypochondria |
Achilles |
|
|
|
Lack of respect |
For Fines
Committee |
|
|
|
Comedy block |
Against
pie bowling |
|
|
|
Flashbacks to Minehead (tour) |
13yr old
bowling |
|
|
|
|
|
£3.75 |
|
Dave S |
Kit bag avoidance |
|
|
|
|
Pub avoidance |
Before
match |
|
|
|
Bovine Mascot avoidance |
In kit bag |
|
|
|
Cob |
|
|
|
|
Accepting shit equipment |
Bat |
|
|
|
Silly attire |
Wearing
ridiculous slippers and socks |
|
|
|
Denial |
Thinks
he’s fashionable |
|
|
|
Boasting |
Living on
Boars Hill |
|
|
|
Owning the outfield |
Boars Hill |
|
|
|
Mad ground avoidance |
Promise of
making the Mad their own ground is still a dream |
|
|
|
Trigger finger |
Giving Dan
lbw |
|
|
|
Large cob |
|
50p |
|
|
Cob |
Throwing
lighter |
|
|
|
|
|
£3.50 |
|
James P |
Standing in vomit |
Ben’s
vomit |
|
|
|
Impersonating use of voice box |
After
dropping catch into throat |
|
|
|
Drop |
|
50p |
|
|
Invoking poor slip fielding |
Inducing
edge to JMO at slip |
|
|
|
Club kit avoidance |
|
|
|
|
Turning up in kit |
|
|
|
|
Turning up to pub in kit |
|
|
|
|
Taking kit bag |
To ensure
selection for next game |
|
|
|
Impersonating a Kiwi |
Daniel
Vettori |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.50 |
|
Moo |
Impersonating Russell Crowe |
Beard |
|
|
|
Impersonating the guy out of “the Joy
of Sex” |
|
|
|
|
Dissing JMO’s batting |
|
|
|
|
Missing Bovine Mascot |
|
|
|
|
Thinking JMO was a slip fielder |
Denial |
|
|
|
Putting Nick on boundary |
He has a
crap arm |
|
|
|
Impersonating Adie Small |
Wicket
celebration x 2 |
50p |
|
|
Drop |
|
50p |
|
|
|
|
£2.50 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
£23.50 |
*
Special
Rates
|
Indiscretion |
Cost |
|
Duck |
£0.50 |
|
Golden Duck |
£1.00 |
|
Diamond or Platinum Duck |
£2.00 |
|
Out Playing Reverse-sweep /
Switch-hit |
£1.00 |
|
Dropped Catch |
£0.50 |
|
Opening Bowler No Wicket |
£0.50 |
|
Opening Partnership Avoidance |
£0.50 |
|
Smoking on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Drinking on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Missed Stumping |
£0.50 |
|
Missed Run-Out |
£0.50 |
|
Fines' Folder Abuse |
£0.50 |
|
Impersonating Billy Liar |
£0.50 |
|
Having a Major Cob |
£0.50 |
|
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter
meltdown) |
£1.00 |
|
Looking Uber-Smug (overly arrogant
and condescending) |
£0.50 |
|
Extreme Frowning |
£0.50 |
|
Insulting the Fines Committee
Chairman |
£0.50 |
|
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum
limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause” |
£1.00 |
|
Swearing in Front of Kids |
£2.50 |
|
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain) |
£5.00 |
|
Dissent (to On-field Umpires) |
£5.00 |
|
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose) |
x2 |