Far from the MCC fines 01.08.10 v Wootton & Bladon CC (h) won by 4 wkts

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Ian H	Failure to bring team home
	Large cob	Throwing bat in changing room	50p
	Comedy dismissal	Crap shot after being told to concentrate
	Self importance	“The team relies on me”
	Dissing team	“You lot are shite without me”
	Impersonating James Pearson	Trigger finger
	Cob
	Impersonating Mystic Meg	“I knew I’d get out”	50p
	Arrogance	“My innings deserved a fifty”
	Cob
			£3.00
Dave E	Being a mummy’s boy	Behaving himself with mum at ground
	Fines ignorance	Not having a clue
	Drop		50p
	Tourettes	Shouting out “H2O” whilst Steve Poole was waiting to face (a delivery)	50p
	Stupidity
	Cob
			£2.00
Matt	Batting avoidance	Missing his turn whilst scoring
	Drop		50p
	Name ignorance	Not realising he was next in to bat
	Cob	Regarding his geography
	TVR avoidance
	Dissing his TVR	“Unreliable”
	Believing in youth development	Youngest Mad player is 30yrs old
			£2.00
Mike R	Run out avoidance	Never ran out a member of opposition
	Harbouring dark thoughts	About his cricketing injustices
	Threatening behaviour	See above
	Self importance	“I thought I’d bring team home”
	Cob	“I’m not lending my pen!”
	Large cob	After his lbw dismissal	50p
	Failure to bring team home
			£2.00
Gareth	Name ignorance
	Beard
	Looking like Bo Duke	Dukes of Hazard (check shirt)
	Drop		50p
	Average protection
	Deafness	Not listening to anybody
	Fine entrapment	Reminding people he dropped a catch
			£2.00
Dan	Ideas above his station	Thinking he’s an international cricketer
	Lack of dog control	Joe Puppy on pitch
	Comedy fielding	Going down in stages
	Impersonating Abramovich	Arriving by boat
	Cruising	On boat (curb crawling)
	Drop		50p
	Suppressed cob	At fines committee
			£2.00
Thorn	Duck avoidance
	Comedy dismissal	“Noooooooo” – as he played his shot
	Fielding whilst rolling a fag
	Smoking on the pitch		50p
	Dissing captain	“Idiot”
	Drinking in the pitch		50p
			£2.00
Moo	Self importance
	Losing toss		50p
	Comedy dismissal	Stumped with scores level
	Drop		50p
	Failure to bring team home
	Self entrapment
	Failing to bowl opening bowlers out	The 2 Dave’s	50p
	Not giving a fuck	“I don’t give a fuck”
	Insulting opening bowler	“Emerson you’re a twat”
			£3.00
James H	Absent from fines	Donation in food vouchers	£4.00
		TOTAL	£22.00

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Looking Uber-Smug (overly arrogant and condescending)	£0.50
Extreme Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£0.50
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2