Far
from the MCC fines 25.07.10
v Cholsey CC (h) lost by 1 wkt
Recorded
Fines
25p unless otherwise stated.
|
Name |
Fine |
Reason |
Cost
|
|
Mike R |
Bike Avoidance |
|
|
|
|
Dropped Catch |
|
50p |
|
|
Impersonating Ronaldo |
|
|
|
|
Show Boating Avoidance |
Not
flicking ball up with foot & catching it |
|
|
|
Injury Avoidance |
Strangely
in perfect health |
|
|
|
Being Out To A No Ball |
Was at
least tit height |
|
|
|
Failure To Influence Umpire |
Not even a
menacing stare |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Dave E. |
Quadratic Avoidance |
Possibly
due a to a dead leg incurred after hat-trick |
|
|
|
Parkinson Cob |
|
£1.00 |
|
|
Modesty |
Despite
getting the 1st ever genuine MAD hat-trick |
|
|
|
Self-Importance |
|
|
|
|
Failure To Throw Bat Accurately |
During
Parkinson Cob |
|
|
|
Saying ‘W’ Word |
|
|
|
|
Donation |
|
75p |
|
|
|
|
£3.00 |
|
Thornton |
Drinking On Pitch * 2 |
Whilst
batting & whilst fielding |
£1.00 |
|
|
Smoking On Pitch |
|
50p |
|
|
|
|
£1.50 |
|
Nick |
Trigger Finger |
Pitched
outside leg, outside the line, going over the top etc, etc….. |
|
|
|
Impersonating Ronaldo |
|
|
|
|
2 * Ball Avoidance |
In the
slips |
50p |
|
|
Lack Of Reflexes |
Should
have a got a hand to at least one chance |
|
|
|
Not Covering All Slip Positions |
Everyone
else was on the boundary |
|
|
|
Pub Avoidance |
|
|
|
|
Stray Dog Avoidance |
|
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
Ian L |
Innumeracy |
During
fines committee |
|
|
|
Gavel Avoidance |
Responsibility
of Fines Chairman |
|
|
|
Renting Shoe |
Thorn’s
steel toe capped boots proving suitable replacement for gavel |
|
|
|
Looking Like An InterRailer |
Long hair,
small ruck-sack & no obvious home |
|
|
|
Causing Theme Tune Confusion |
Trying to
make an epic entrance |
|
|
|
Florence Nightingale Avoidance |
Fetching
ball whilst avoiding tending to Stevie D. |
|
|
|
Impersonating Builder |
Showing
crack |
|
|
|
Lack Of Subtlety |
Whilst
building |
|
|
|
Cob |
Rizla were
provided |
|
|
|
Attempted Fine Entrapment |
|
|
|
|
|
|
£2.50 |
|
James P |
Trigger Finger |
Pitched
outside leg, outside the line, going over the top etc, etc….. |
|
|
|
Buckling Under Pressure |
|
|
|
|
Polite Cob |
A result
of good breeding |
|
|
|
No Ball Avoidance |
Was at
least tit high |
|
|
|
Setting Bad Example To Youth |
Complaining
of fatigue, despite being youngest in the team |
|
|
|
Turned Up In Kit |
|
|
|
|
Left In Kit |
|
|
|
|
Average Protection |
|
|
|
|
Harbouring Dark Thoughts |
Over
Average Protection |
|
|
|
Monitoring Statistics |
Almost new
as much as Matt |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.50 |
|
James H |
Left In Kit |
|
|
|
|
Hairdressers Car |
|
|
|
|
Pre-Game Cob |
|
|
|
|
Defensive Mongoose |
The
Treasurer requires the loss of his wicket |
|
|
|
Duck Avoidance |
Not
totally defensive |
|
|
|
Denial |
|
|
|
|
Film Review Avoidance |
Inception
described by indefinite hand gesture |
|
|
|
Mongoose Multiplier * 2 |
Despite
being defensive |
|
|
|
|
|
£3.50 |
|
Dan |
Failure To Control Joe Puppy |
Joe Puppy
performing 12th man responsibilities |
|
|
|
Joe Puppy Cob |
He was
only trying to help |
|
|
|
Abromavich Avoidance |
Didn’t
turn up in boat |
|
|
|
Libel Creation |
Scandal on
boat |
|
|
|
Self-Entrapment |
|
|
|
|
Cob |
|
|
|
|
|
|
£1.50 |
|
Andy D |
Comedy Fielding |
|
|
|
|
Predicting Fines |
Pissed off
home |
|
|
|
Jinx |
Already new he was going to bowl shite |
|
|
|
Cobing |
On bowling
shite |
|
|
|
Heart Failure |
Sudden
collapse in field |
|
|
|
Resurrection |
Sudden
recovery from collapse |
|
|
|
Donation |
|
£1.50 |
|
|
|
|
£3.00 |
|
Gary |
Dropped Catch |
|
50p |
|
|
Dissing Team |
|
|
|
|
Lack Of Confidence |
|
|
|
|
Cob * 2 |
|
50p |
|
|
Impersonating Sunday League Football
Manager |
‘Come on
guys, this is important!’ |
|
|
|
Stating The Obvious |
‘Bowl into
my gloves’ |
|
|
|
Planning Dismissal |
Caught or
stumped (see above) |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.25 |
|
Stevie D |
Major Cob |
|
50p |
|
|
Unnecessary Language |
Throughout
the match |
|
|
|
Fine Entrapment |
|
|
|
|
(Dobner Clause Invoked) |
|
£1.00 |
|
Jake |
Wearing Ballet Shoes |
Instead of
steel toecaps |
|
|
|
Impersonating InterRailer |
Long hair,
small ruck-sack & no obvious home |
|
|
|
Emerson Crèche Avoidance |
Failed to
look after prized bowler in nightclub |
|
|
|
Self-Entrapment |
Admitted
to failure |
|
|
|
|
|
£1.25 |
|
Martin W. |
Captaincy By Committee |
Most of
the team involved in deciding field placements |
|
|
|
Reevsie Cob |
|
|
|
|
Taking A Job In A 7-11 |
|
|
|
|
Failure To Bowl Best Bowlers * 2 |
|
50p |
|
|
Cob |
|
|
|
|
Lack Of Authority |
|
|
|
|
Forming A Variety Of Coalitions |
In a hope
a decent tactical decision might be made |
|
|
|
|
|
£2.00 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
£26.75 |
*
Special
Rates
|
Indiscretion |
Cost |
|
Duck |
£0.50 |
|
Golden Duck |
£1.00 |
|
Diamond or Platinum Duck |
£2.00 |
|
Out Playing Reverse-sweep /
Switch-hit |
£1.00 |
|
Dropped Catch |
£0.50 |
|
Opening Bowler No Wicket |
£0.50 |
|
Opening Partnership Avoidance |
£0.50 |
|
Smoking on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Drinking on the Pitch |
£0.50 |
|
Missed Stumping |
£0.50 |
|
Missed Run-Out |
£0.50 |
|
Fines' Folder Abuse |
£0.50 |
|
Impersonating Billy Liar |
£0.50 |
|
Having a Major Cob |
£0.50 |
|
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter
meltdown) |
£1.00 |
|
Looking Uber-Smug (overly arrogant
and condescending) |
£0.50 |
|
Extreme Frowning |
£0.50 |
|
Insulting the Fines Committee
Chairman |
£0.50 |
|
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum
limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause” |
£1.00 |
|
Swearing in Front of Kids |
£2.50 |
|
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain) |
£5.00 |
|
Dissent (to On-field Umpires) |
£5.00 |
|
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose) |
x2 |