Match: 10
/ 210
Won
by 11 runs
Team |
Total |
FFTMCC |
106 |
M. Bullock 21, I. Howarth
19 |
|
|
|
Appleton CC |
95 - 6 |
D. Edwards 2 - 14, T. Smith
2 - 15 |
After a spate of late
arrivals by opposition teams contesting Twenty20 games in recent times, ‘Ol Big Head had surreptitiously seen a trend forming;
that opponents were using this tactic as a way of taking advantage of the Far
from the MCC’s generosity, and politely asking The MAD if it were possible to
bat first until the rest of their
team turn up. The advantages were clear – you weren’t fielding with a
shortage of personnel, and perhaps more importantly, you get to bat first
before the onset of gloom after 7.30pm. Taking stock of this, and perhaps
feeling the strain of having to deputise as Captain, juggle Treasurer duties,
write match reports, score all of the team’s runs, take all the team’s
wickets and maintain his day to day job – Mr. Reeves was understandably less
than understanding on this particular evening. “Look,” he explained to
his opposite number “I’ve won the toss, it’s already dark out here since the sun
fucked off hours ago, and I’m buggered if we’re batting second in the sodding
darkness. So no, you can’t bat first, fuck off – it’s our turn.” And that was
that. Maybe there was a more steely
side to our Cloughie than any of us might have dared
imagine? Maybe that protest vote* a
few weeks ago was still lingering in his psyche? Either way, no one dared
argue with him. D. Shorten (left) is instructed by his skipper to
BISH BASH BOSH! Opening first in the
oppressive gloom, I. Howarth (19) and J. Pearson (6) forged a decent 32 run
partnership, before the former chipped a slower crap one to a grateful mid-on.
Howarth’s return to the pavilion was very low key by his own scale of
bat-throwing tantrums, and his admission to a “poor shot” surprised many;
particularly D. Shorten who was quick to exclaim “Howarth – not blaming the
pitch! Or bad umpiring?! Jesus fucking Christ, I never thought I would.” Following on from the coin toss controversy, the dismissal
of P. Mellor for nought a few balls later brought further acrimony. This time
the argument hinged on whether Paddy had actually scooped a golden duck or
merely a [normal] duck. It was definitely a duck though, nobody argued with
that – the robust Mr. Mellor bowled through the gate by an adult. But did the
wide he received first up count as a legitimate ball faced? Some said no, and some said yes; and if it was, then
Paddy had scooped a silver duck and not a golden. It was agreed that nobody
agreed in the end, and that the matter would be brought to a conclusion the
following day after someone consulted the laws of the game. “Hey, J-MO – is a wide a ball faced, or not a
ball faced? I’m troubled.” Herewith the findings (the following day): “To be ruled a wide, the umpire at the bowler's end must
judge that the batsman is unable to play a normal batting stroke at the ball
from his normal batting stance. The umpire signals a wide by holding both
arms out horizontally. A wide does not count as one of the six balls in an
over, nor does it count as a ball faced
by the batsman.” Fascinating I’m sure you’ll find. Sorry though, Paddy –
‘golden’ it is my friend. Back to the match – and
with the vagaries of a bone dry pitch with only minor groundsmanship
prior to the game, it was tough going out in the middle. The perpetually dark
clouds which hovered overhead didn’t help either, and nor did the lack of
sightscreens at both ends. Hell, if there were
other problems in building an innings, then The MAD batsmen were quick to
trot them out after their dismissal…. A gaggle of Apples discuss MAD excuses for shit
batting. D. Shorten (13): “Jesus
fucking Christ – how on earth can I construct a match winning innings in that
darkness? I do wear glasses you know (silent cob).” M. Reeves (12): “That
looping pie-chucker out there should be outlawed. I looked an utter idiot
swiping and getting out to that crap (sigh). How can one possibly see pie in
the sky? Dark sky at that - I might add (deeper sigh).” C. Roberts (0): “Second
baller – shucks, still at least it wasn’t a golden, huh?” (cheeky grin) I. Leggate (6): “Ran
out again (sigh). How can you run in the dark and know where you are going? I
struggle to run anyway – at least not in a convincing manner. Utterly
preposterous.” J. Hoskins (0): “I’m
far better than that. I always have to face the best bowling in the worst
of the light. Bloody typical. And I
never have time to play myself in. Bloody top order have
it easy (sulk).” D. Edwards (8): “Sheesh,
stumped by a grandad. It’s a new low in a week of lows. However batting me
this low down the order is criminal. Skipper, M. Reeves, is castled in embarrassing
fashion to a cream pie. Unperturbed by the
amateurish efforts around him, M. Bullock (21) was making sway as he swatted
his way to his highest score of the season. It was great to see our Chairman
enjoy some success with the bat, and will hopefully go some way in convincing
him that you are only ever one innings away from some decent form. The MAD
eventually realised an unsubstantial 105 off 14.7 overs, with T. Smith (0*)
left stranded protecting his average. It gleaned a curious reaction from many
of the Appleton team; some of them mumbling about it being “quite a tough
ask”. So maybe this pitch had a few more demons in it that was initially
thought? After a cheap T-shirt
sporting D. Shorten (3-0-21-1) rocked back C. McKno’s (1) timber, old stumpmaster general, Roger Gilkes (31*), guided the
Appleton outfit to what looked like an assured victory in the deepening
gloom. D. Edwards (3-1-14-2) on the other hand had other plans. Still smarting from his batting order snub, the
venerable tree-surgeon extraordinaire threw down 3 overs of unplayable pie
which smashed stumps in all directions. “Haha – I’ve finally
worked out how to tonk the damn thing!” Scooping up the baton in
the now near darkness, T. Smith (3-0-15-2) and J. Hoskins (2-0-16-0)
continued with the barrage of well-baked patisserie, Appleton now slumping in
the pastry on 79-5 with a mere 3 overs to go. Fortunately for them, that
equated to 24 balls and not the usual 18, so still very much game on. Entering the fray, and
perhaps slightly surprisingly given recent tonkings,
came one “Easy Bob” Roberts. It was
such a pivotal point of the match to produce your best spell of the season,
but that is exactly what Chris (3-0-20-1) did. Combining his towering point
of delivery with the moonlit trees behind his arm, the home team struggled
manfully to get him away. Bob was ably assisted at the death by a returning
I. Howarth (1-0-2-0) – the northern moaner perhaps galvanised out of bowling
retirement due to the horrendous batting conditions. Ian’s miserly over of
limping pace leaving Appleton requiring 19 runs off the final over for
victory. Bob takes guard, as D. Shorten tries to get out
of shot to hide his T-shirt. 19 runs off 6 balls
would have been a tall (ahem) order off Bob, but 19 off 8 balls was gettable;
and despite D. Shorten dropping yet another
catch in the deep, Roberts was able to reel off his over with Appleton
stranded on 95-6. The MAD won out by 10 runs. Easy, man. Easy. As
“Easy Bob” Roberts will tell you. * - Mike Reeves inexplicably failed to win
the Man of the Match award after his match winning knock of 85 against Astons
CC. It was deemed a response to his largely bitter match report a few
weeks previous. ‘Spam’
|
*
Far from the MCC versus Appleton CC Played at Appleton, 28 July 2010 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 11 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
10 / 210 15 x 8 ball over match |
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
I. Howarth |
c Bennett b Manning |
19 |
(19) |
4 |
- |
1-32 |
2 |
J. W. Pearson |
b Buck |
6 |
(17) |
1 |
- |
3-37 |
3 |
P. A. S. Mellor |
b Buck |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
2-32 |
4 |
D. Shorten |
b Bennett |
13 |
(16) |
2 |
- |
5-69 |
5 |
M. K. Reeves * |
b Alder |
12 |
(11) |
2 |
- |
4-62 |
6 |
C. D. Roberts |
c Buck b Alder |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
6-69 |
7 |
M. Bullock + |
b Wood |
21 |
(26) |
4 |
- |
9-105 |
8 |
I. C. Leggate |
run out |
6 |
(11) |
- |
- |
7-85 |
9 |
J. D. Hoskins |
b T. Crowe |
0 |
(9) |
- |
- |
8-89 |
10 |
D. M. Edwards |
st Gilkes b Wood |
8 |
(10) |
1 |
- |
10-106 |
11 |
T. P. W. Smith |
not out |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
- |
|
Extras |
(NB4, W15, B2) |
21 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 14.7 overs) |
106 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
1 |
J. Crowe |
2 |
0 |
19 |
0 |
|
2 |
Manning |
2 |
0 |
12 |
1 |
|
3 |
Buck |
2 |
0 |
19 |
2 |
|
4 |
Alder |
2 |
0 |
9 |
2 |
|
5 |
Hancock |
2 |
0 |
10 |
0 |
|
6 |
Bennett |
2 |
0 |
7 |
1 |
|
7 |
T. Crowe |
1 |
0 |
6 |
1 |
|
8 |
Bungay |
1 |
0 |
3 |
0 |
|
9 |
Wood |
0.7 |
0 |
5 |
2 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Appleton
CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
R. Gilkes + |
retired |
31 |
(33) |
5 |
- |
- |
2 |
C. McKno |
b Shorten |
1 |
(4) |
- |
- |
1-10 |
3 |
M. Bungay * |
b Edwards |
13 |
(14) |
1 |
- |
2-32 |
4 |
A. Buck |
b Edwards |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
3-32 |
5 |
S. Hancock |
c Leggate b Smith |
14 |
(28) |
1 |
- |
5-74 |
6 |
C. Alder |
lbw b Smith |
3 |
(4) |
- |
- |
4-59 |
7 |
E. Bennett |
b Roberts |
13 |
(15) |
1 |
- |
6-79 |
8 |
T. Crowe |
not out |
6 |
(12) |
- |
- |
- |
9 |
J. Crowe |
not out |
6 |
(8) |
- |
- |
- |
10 |
D. Manning |
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
M. Wood |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W6, B2) |
8 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 6 wickets, 15 overs) |
95 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
1 |
Roberts |
4 |
0 |
20 |
1 |
|
2 |
Shorten |
4 |
0 |
21 |
1 |
|
3 |
Edwards |
4 |
1 |
14 |
2 |
|
4 |
Smith |
4 |
0 |
15 |
2 |
|
5 |
Hoskins |
2.4 |
0 |
16 |
0 |
|
6 |
Howarth |
1.2 |
0 |
2 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: the above bowling
figures factor in 8-ball overs (i.e 3
x 8-ball overs constitute 4 overs) |
MOTM: M. Bullock Champagne Moment: I. C. Leggate’s first
out-field catch Buffet
Award: J. D. Hoskins’ spinach
lasagne (with extra cheese topping) |
Opposition:
V051 / 03 Ground: G042 / 02 Captain: C017 / 04 |