Match: 10 / 204
Won by 67 runs
Team |
Total |
FFTMCC |
196 - 7 |
M.
Westmoreland 44, S. Dobner
43 |
|
|
|
Wootton & Boars Hill CC |
129 |
T.
Smith 2 - 1, S. Dobner
2 - 13 |
Women. Unfathomable, erratic, illogical, emotional and
impossible to understand; at least those are just some of the views that many
men attribute to the opposite sex. In return, women judge men as basic,
retarded, insensitive and cave dwelling – or is that just me? Conversely,
none of the cricket team have found a single fault in Ian Leggate’s newly
acquired girlfriend – Sandra – with the considered opinion in most quarters
seemingly very positive; that Sandra is “really friendly”, “chilled out”,
“good company”, “laid back” and “extremely easy to get on with”. Some of the
guys have even gone as far as stating she ain’t half bad in the looks
department either; a view that this scribe would certainly not want to argue
with. So why Sandra found herself watching a whole afternoon’s cricket on her
own without the company of her boyfriend is anyone’s guess…. More amazing is
that she stuck it out to the end – watching a group of unfit, injury ravaged
alcoholics finally seeing off their Boars Hill counterparts. That’s
dedication, man. That’s one cool
girlfriend. Sandra at
least had some familiar company when The MAD batted. Utilising a rare win of the toss, and backing research
into a fixture where the team batting first always wins, Mr. Westmoreland
urged his Mad team to bat with a modicum of intelligence, and finally set a
decent total to defend. They started brightly, with I. Howarth (28) smiting
several early boundaries before a decent delivery from A. Fisher (7-1-20-3)
sent him packing to join D. Edwards (5) back in the hutch. M. Bullock fell 48
agonising runs short of his fifty, before N. Hebbes and S. Dobner steadied
things with a fine 55 run partnership in relatively good time. Their good
work was finally undone when Hebbes (21) was triggered by Howarth (umpiring)
who adjudged his team mate to have sailed out of dry dock and floated in
front of middle stump. Matt
considers killing the umpire after his dismissal. It was perhaps a shame that Mr. Dobner (43) never made
his half-century, as his positive innings deserved it, but as is so often the
case, the looping pie of J. Rogers (5-0-27-2) caused Steve to flip a switch
and swipe across the line. B. Mander (9) added some useful runs, as did T.
Smith (17*), who reminded all that this guy can bash when his mind is right;
but the real acceleration of The MAD innings came from skipper Westmoreland
(44), who was perhaps unfortunate to find a scurrying D. Mills flinging
himself on the boundary to pouch a beauty. Comedy value was provided by J.
Hoskins (2*) taking advantage of D. Shorten’s toiletry requirements, and
elevating himself up the order at the expense of the latter. 196 for 7 off
their 40 overs, and a darned fine effort, especially in lieu of recent
abominations. S. Dobner (43) reaches for a
Harmison-esque wide one. Sandra applauded the gentlemen off the field, and
accepted the offer of a few bites to eat. It was certainly welcome, as her
absent boyfriend wasn’t there to take her to a restaurant or café to buy her
any lunch. The cricket on offer wasn’t too bad, she thought, and with the sun
poking its head out at various intervals, reclining back in one of the many
Brasenose deckchairs was eminently put-up-able. T. Smith: “Hi Sandra, Leggate not
showed up yet?” Sandra: “No. Not yet. I think he’s on
the train.” I. Howarth: “Which train?” Sandra: “A train.” D. Emerson: “Pathetic. I’d never leave my
missus out to dry like this. What a cock.” Sandra: “Hmm. Nice catch, huh?” A great cake, but after the Lemming’s
effort, it’s all downhill for Kim…. On resumption of the match, Wootton hopes of a famous
run chase were dashed by the pace and control of the two Dave’s. Shorten
(6-1-18-1), visibly irked by his failure to get a bat, bowled with pace and
gusto as he nearly decapitated I. Howarth behind the stumps. It was an
excellent spell, and if not for his partner’s equally impressive stint, would
surely have scooped an award. However, Mr. Emerson bowled his best spell of
the season, despite a crate of cider swilling around his gut; prising out D.
Mills (18) and J. Fisher (11) on the way to returning figures of 8-1-35-2. It
was a deserved Man of the Match display, and only when he’d bowled himself
out did he remember his side strain and pre-fielding cobbing. One in, one
out – Smith passes B. Mander to the wicket. Everyone chipped in to be fair. S. Dobner (6-1-13-2)
bowled with his now customary miserliness, J. Hoskins (8-2-24-2) would have
enjoyed more success but for the ineptitude of the keeper, and even D.
Edwards (3-1-5-0) turned his arm over to amuse the spectators. Wootton’s
plight was further effected by B. Mander (3-0-26-1), as the leggie skewered a
few passing pigeons with his hand grenades; and all that was left was for the
criminally under bowled T. Smith (1.1-0-1-2) to make an impression by
castling A. Barton (9) and D. Parker (7) to leave the visitors some 67 runs
short of their target. A good all-round team performance in conclusion. Once again Sandra dutifully clapped as the players from
both sides shook hands at the end of the match. With six hours having elapsed
during the course of this game there was still no Mr. Leggate to be found.
With a sigh, she said some goodbyes and left; perhaps on a whim that maybe Ian
was in the Oxford city centre [somewhere] if his garbled voicemails were to
be believed…. The view of
the action from where Sandra sat all afternoon. Mr Leggate, if you’re reading this – you really are a plum
but thank you nonetheless for at least providing the backbone for a match
report of sorts. ‘Spam’
|
*
Far from the MCC versus Wootton &
Boars Hill CC Played at Brasenose College, 4 July
2010 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 67 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
10 / 204 40 over match |
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
D. M. Edwards |
c Morton b Fisher |
5 |
(25) |
- |
- |
1-27 |
2 |
I. Howarth + |
b Fisher |
28 |
(27) |
6 |
- |
2-38 |
3 |
N. J. Hebbes |
lbw b Godfrey |
21 |
(45) |
4 |
- |
4-95 |
4 |
M. Bullock |
c Abbott b Fisher |
2 |
(5) |
- |
- |
3-40 |
5 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
b Rogers |
43 |
(50) |
6 |
- |
5-112 |
6 |
B. J. Mander |
b Rogers |
9 |
(25) |
1 |
- |
6-140 |
7 |
M. T. Westmoreland * |
c Mills b Parker |
44 |
(32) |
8 |
- |
7-185 |
8 |
T. P. W. Smith |
not out |
17 |
(30) |
2 |
- |
- |
9 |
J. D. Hoskins |
not out |
2 |
(2) |
- |
- |
- |
10 |
D. Shorten |
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
D. Emerson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB1, W12, LB2, B10) |
25 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 7 wickets, 40 overs) |
196 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
1 |
Fisher |
7 |
1 |
20 |
3 |
|
2 |
Parker |
7 |
1 |
29 |
1 |
|
3 |
Godfrey |
8 |
0 |
30 |
1 |
|
4 |
Dunbar |
6 |
1 |
25 |
0 |
|
5 |
Rogers |
5 |
0 |
27 |
2 |
|
6 |
Abbott |
4 |
0 |
14 |
0 |
|
7 |
Werrell |
2 |
0 |
32 |
0 |
|
8 |
Mills |
1 |
0 |
6 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Wootton
& Boars Hill CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
D. Mills |
b Emerson |
18 |
|
2 |
- |
3-42 |
2 |
S. Horton + |
b Shorten |
2 |
|
- |
- |
1-7 |
3 |
J. Fisher |
b Emerson |
11 |
|
2 |
- |
2-26 |
4 |
O. Abbott |
b Dobner |
13 |
|
2 |
- |
5-71 |
5 |
J. Dunbar |
c Edwards b Dobner |
0 |
|
- |
- |
4-43 |
6 |
A. B. Fisher |
b Hoskins |
27 |
|
5 |
- |
7-109 |
7 |
D. Godfrey |
c Emerson b Mander |
13 |
|
1 |
- |
6-92 |
8 |
J. Rogers |
c Edwards b Hoskins |
3 |
|
- |
- |
8-112 |
9 |
A. Barton |
b Smith |
9 |
|
- |
- |
9-119 |
10 |
D. Parker |
b Smith |
7 |
|
- |
- |
10-129 |
11 |
J. Werrell |
not out |
10 |
|
2 |
- |
- |
|
Extras |
(W6, LB6, B4) |
16 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 35.1 overs) |
129 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
1 |
Shorten |
6 |
1 |
18 |
1 |
|
2 |
Emerson |
8 |
1 |
35 |
2 |
|
3 |
Dobner |
6 |
1 |
13 |
2 |
|
4 |
Hoskins |
8 |
2 |
24 |
2 |
|
5 |
Edwards |
3 |
1 |
5 |
0 |
|
6 |
Mander |
3 |
0 |
26 |
1 |
|
7 |
Smith |
1.1 |
0 |
1 |
2 |
|
MOTM: D. Emerson Champagne Moment: D. Emerson’s second
wicket during his opening burst Buffet
Award: B. J. Mander’s Mancunian
humus and pitta bread (with olives) |
Opposition:
V039 / 07 Ground: G040 / 10 Captain: C011 / 32 |