“Schadenfreude”
Match: 10
/ 200
Won
by 68 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
210 - 6 |
|
I. Howarth 99, M. Westmoreland 31 |
|
|
|
|
|
Old East Oxford CC |
142 - 8 |
|
I. Leggate 2 - 12, D. Emerson
2 - 20 |
|
|
Schadenfreude is one of
those fantastic foreign words for which we have no direct translation and
has, as such, become part of the accepted English vocabulary. Schadenfreude
can be best described as ‘Taking pleasure in the misfortune of others’.
During the last few weeks there have been a significant number of examples
which illustrate the true sense of the word. Take the evening of Saturday 12th
June – picture the scene; World Cup Qualifier England vs USA. England take
the lead through a fluent move and the shaven headed, beer fuelled meatheads
launch into full on Ing-er-lund, Ing-er-lund, Ing-er-lund mode. Thirty
Eight minutes later a tame shot from all American hero Clint Dempsey trundles
along the African turf towards red nosed England stopper Robert Green, who
inexplicably allows the ball to wriggle from his grasp and nestle into the
net.
Robert Green – an utter bell end. A whole nation is
instantly transported from euphoria to stunned silence. The camera pans to
Fabio Capello, who is alive with Italian fury, blood vessels popping all over
his face. Clive Tyldesley has literally shat himself in the commentary box
and has tears flooding down his Manchester United polo shirt. The camera pans
once more to reserve England keepers David James and Joe Hart, both look
bright eyed, silent glee spreading across their faces. A look is exchanged between the two that
says “Brilliant – the twat has let us back in” – Schadenfreude – it’s
everywhere you look: Ashley Cole being dumped
by violent, Geordie, racist (allegedly) national treasure Cheryl –
Nationwide Schadenfreude Politicians being
prosecuted for their criminal expense claims – Schadenfreude You get the picture. It
occurred to this correspondent during the fixture between The MAD and Old
East Oxford that this was possibly not the only word derived from foreign
languages that did not have a direct translation into English, and sure
enough several came to light.
Team MAD bathe in rather nice afternoon weather. Following yet another
lost toss – once again attributable to one D Westmoreland who turned up too late
to advise his father, The MAD were somewhat surprisingly invited to bat on
the traditional low slow Brasenose wicket. Neither team had been able to
muster the full XI for the start of the game with the Mad’s number being
depleted to the tune of two following an unforeseen traffic jam somewhere
outside Chingford (Selathirupavar – Tamil used to define a certain type of absence
without official leave in face of duty). Bereft of their Number 3 batsman,
the onus was on a steady start from openers Hebbes and Howarth. Given a
history of somewhat ‘capricious’ running between the wickets, the pair had
the importance of clear calling underlined to them as they strolled to the
wicket. There were not too many alarms and the pair ran sensibly – it was
mooted several times that an injured Howarth is actually a safer Howarth as
he is less likely to launch into the
blind, head down, suicidal singles for which he has entered MAD folklore. The
pair moved the score along at a steady rate before Hebbes attempting to
accelerate holed out back to the bowler for 15.
A magician with long foreign words, Parkinson is
a master of levitation also. The Essex jalopy had
safely arrived and Littlechild, a bundle of chipper enthusiasm, strolled out
to the middle. Surely two of the club’s most gifted players would soon get
things moving. What followed saw one very out of form player, with one very
rusty one, attempt to reacquaint themselves with their obvious talents.
Howarth was the epitome of Litost a rarely used Czech word meaning ‘a state of
torment created by the sudden sight of one’s own misery’ as he tried to play
his established role of Laughing Cavalier. Head shaking, cursing and
Tourette’s tics were ever present. What Howarth did have was luck on his side
as he continued to profit from OEO’s profligate attempts in the field. During
his knock Howarth was reprieved no less than 7 (yes SEVEN) times. His team mates, while obviously wishing
their hero well, started to tut as yet another catch was grassed. “Never
happens to me” and “Jammy bastard” were repeatedly heard.
Howarth lofts another into the air over mid off. Gary Littlechild at the
other end was making steady progress and providing the solidity that we have
missed of late, chiselling out a useful 31. The two batsmen having spent many
a happy hour at the crease together have that inbuilt natural understanding.
It was therefore somewhat surprising to see Howarth foaming at the mouth like
an over excited Derby outsider, haring down the wicket having hit the ball
all of 5 metres straight to the nearest fielder. The result was Gary was cut
off in his prime and was run out. I am sure I was not the
only one left with the feeling that what had just passed was as fine an
example of ‘mamihlapinatapei’ as one could hope to see – it can be
defined as the action of “looking into
someone’s eyes, each hoping the other will initiate what both want to do but
neither chooses to commence – as both players stood in mid pitch staring into
each other’s eyes they both probably thought ‘if only we had immediately
turned back, why did he run / not shout NOOOOOO!??? It was tough on the
diminutive Essex stumper. Surely with yet another escape for the Lancastrian
rogue, it was destined to be his day as he entered the pantheon of Mad
greatness by registering another century? As Gary returned to the Mad throng
he was admirably restrained. His team mates were only to happen to offer words
of consolation to Gary – “What a total bell end, he is eh Gary”, “When will
he ever learn?”, “You should take him to the car park and give him a Romford
kiss Gal” etc. Howarth just stood there, looking like a ‘Nam veteran, the
thousand yard stare a textbox illustration of Waldeinsamkeit (German): the feeling of being
all alone in the woods.
Nick (15) surveys his failure with Bovine Mascot
and Duck. Out in the middle
Howarth continued to ride his luck on his journey to the promised land of
three figures. Smith (0) and Parkinson (1) came and went, plus a further 3
Howarth’s. Fortunately Westmoreland was there to steady the ship with a fine
31 as the 7 Howarth’s struck out to all corners of the ground. As befits the
only player to have ever been out on 99 for the club (hence the shirt number)
a warning was called out to Ian that he was on 99. Surely a pushed single, a
raised bat, greatness assured. Nope, a blind head long lunge at the off
spinner in an attempt to clear the longest boundary. The ball was mistimed
and looped in a glorious parabola to the long on stationed at three quarters
for such an idiotic risk. As the ball travelled seemingly in slow motion, the
Mad on the boundary rose as one. Surely the chance would be grassed as the
previous 7 had been. The ball stuck. Silence descended across the ground
before an almighty roar – not as one would have expected from OEO, but from
all The MAD players. Schadenfreude
abounds. Howarth had entered the Pantheon alright, but it was the one marked
“Tit”. Some lusty blows from
Westmoreland and Dobner (21*) saw The MAD to a substantial total of 210-6
which was a great effort.
Howarth is left to rue notching the number on his
back; another bell end. Following a magnificent
feast topped off with yet another superb, bespoke cake thanks to Kim, The MAD
started to discuss the OEO reply – there was a theory that ‘Get the brothers
and the rest will fold like a house of cards’ I felt like I had entered a
1980’s gangster movie. Sure enough the lofty Kelly opened up for OEO and his
class was apparent as he timed the ball beautifully all-round the ground –
Emerson and Roberts (4-0-24-0) bowled a tight opening partnership without
making the breakthrough. Parkinson (5-2-14-0) and his lump replaced Emerson
and he too failed to make the difference, being despatched with minimal
effort over deep square for a huge 6. This was looking all too easy.
Steve Dobner claimed credit for all of Kim’s
handiwork in the kitchen. Hoskins (8-1-34-2) at
the other end was mixing things up well with his combination of off breaks,
darts and loopy floaters. When he breached Levvy’s
defences for 25, little did we know what a change this would make. T. Kelly
decided the best plan was full out attack and literally sprinted down the
wicket like a Mohican warrior. He missed. Gary whipped off the bails.
Momentum shifted. Further wickets fell, but Andy Kelly was still making
serene progress at the other end. He was however having problems getting hold
of Hoskins’ flans and the run rate continued to grow. The return of Emerson
(8-0-20-2) made the difference, he slipped one under Kelly’s defences and he
was bowled for a well-crafted 79. This saw the introduction of Leggate and he
did what he does best, he bamboozled the opposition’s lower order with a
range of variety rarely seen these days finishing with 1.5-0-12-2. As his run
rate moved to over 6 per over, several bowlers could be seen making the fist clenched gesture as it was clear where the Buffet
award would be heading. Schadenfreude
once more.
J. Hoskins’ (right) innings was pivotal to The
MAD success. The game was won and The
MAD went off to celebrate their 68 run victory and to marvel further at the
‘failures’ of their team mates. Twas ever thus! ‘Mincer’
|
*
Statto
Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Old East
Oxford CC Played at Brasenose College, 13 June
2010 Old East Oxford CC won the toss and
elected to field Far from the MCC won by 68 runs Far from the MCC debuts:
none |
10 / 200 40 over match |
|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
N. J. Hebbes |
c b Bedlington |
15 |
(26) |
3 |
- |
1-32 |
|
2 |
I. Howarth |
c b Butler |
99 |
(116) |
11 |
- |
5-172 |
|
3 |
G. S. Littlechild + |
run out |
31 |
(48) |
4 |
- |
2-104 |
|
4 |
T. P. W. Smith |
lbw b Brown |
0 |
(6) |
- |
- |
3-126 |
|
5 |
S. B. Parkinson |
b Webster |
1 |
(4) |
- |
- |
4-129 |
|
6 |
M. T. Westmoreland * |
c b Brown |
31 |
(28) |
4 |
- |
6-204 |
|
7 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
not out |
21 |
(13) |
3 |
- |
- |
|
8 |
J. D. Hoskins |
not out |
0 |
(0) |
- |
- |
- |
|
9 |
I. C. Leggate |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
C. D. Roberts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
D. Emerson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB5, W1, LB1, B5) |
12 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 6 wickets, 40 overs) |
210 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Butler |
12 |
0 |
55 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Bedlington |
10 |
2 |
32 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Brown |
10 |
0 |
63 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Webster |
8 |
0 |
59 |
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Old East
Oxford CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
A. Kelly |
b Emerson |
79 |
|
8 |
1 |
4-125 |
|
2 |
G. Levvy |
b Hoskins |
25 |
|
3 |
- |
1-96 |
|
3 |
T. Kelly |
st Littlechild b Hoskins |
0 |
|
- |
- |
2-96 |
|
4 |
S. Henry |
b Westmoreland |
4 |
|
1 |
- |
3-101 |
|
5 |
G. Carter |
lbw b Leggate |
12 |
|
1 |
- |
7-130 |
|
6 |
A. Hill |
run out (Dobner/Littlechild) |
0 |
|
- |
- |
5-125 |
|
7 |
G. Butler |
c Hebbes b Emerson |
3 |
|
- |
- |
6-130 |
|
8 |
S. Brown |
not out |
9 |
|
2 |
- |
- |
|
9 |
D. Bedlington |
c Roberts b Leggate |
0 |
|
- |
- |
8-142 |
|
10 |
J. Levvy |
absent |
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W6, LB2, B2) |
10 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 34.5 overs) |
142 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Emerson |
8 |
0 |
20 |
2 |
|
|
2 |
Roberts |
4 |
0 |
24 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Parkinson |
5 |
2 |
14 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Hoskins |
8 |
1 |
34 |
2 |
|
|
5 |
Dobner |
4 |
0 |
17 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Westmoreland |
4 |
0 |
18 |
1 |
|
|
7 |
Leggate |
1.5 |
0 |
12 |
2 |
|
|
MOTM: I. Howarth Champagne Moment: D. Emerson’s bowling of
A. Kelly (79) Buffet
Award: I. C. Leggate’s double-bouncing
cream pies |
Opposition:
V050 / 02 Ground: G040 / 08 Captain: C011 / 29 |