Far from the MCC fines 13.06.10 v Old East Oxford CC (h) won by 68 runs

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Stevie P.	Bringing Alien Friend	His stomach lining problem
	Duck Avoidance
	Failure To Cob	Not living up to his reputation
	Unable To Bowl Underarm
	CO2 Tax
	Dissing The Team	“You’re all a bunch cunts”
	Out Sweeping
	Donation * 13	Buggering off before Fines Committee	£3.25
			£5.00
Thorn	Duck		50p
	Cob * 2		50p
	Smoking On Pitch		50p
	Self-Importance
	Self-Entrapment
			£2.00
J-Mo	Catch Avoidance
	Cob * 2		50p
	Lack Of Fines Procedure	Talking, going to the toilet etc
	Hat-Trick Avoidance
	Attempting To Entrap Stevie P.
	Parkinson Cob		£1.00
	Harbouring Dark Thoughts	Whilst trying not to cob
	Looking Like A Folly Bridge Regular	i.e feral
	Smugness At Successful Appeal
	Delivery Avoidance
			£3.50
Gonzo	Not Knowing Appeal Procedure	At Fines Committee
	Gavel Avoidance
	Over Within An Over
	Being Drag Flicked
	Getting A Lift In A Hairdressers Car	James’ Porsche
	Bringing A Giraffe To Game
	Bringing An Offensive Weapon	A twisted spoon
	Using Cutlery	To eat his lunch
	Excessive Mint Sauce	Drowning his Sunday roast in the darned stuff
	Embarrassing Geoff
	Causing Moo To Loose Will To Live	By talking bollocks
	Self-Entrapment
			£3.00
Gary	Missed Stumping		50p
	Dropped Catch		50p
	Listening To Ian H.	During run out fiasco
	Massive Self-Importance
	Impersonating Ian Bell	By being small
	Bullying An Old Man	Loud appeal at ageing umpire
	Harbouring Dark Thoughts	Towards Ian and Fines Committee
	Failure To Ground Bat	When ran out
			£2.50
Dave E.	Dropped Catch		50p
	Smoking On Pitch		50p
	Using Cutlery	To eat his lunch prior to the game
	Bowling Uphill	When he only bowls downhill
	Entertaining Children
	Lack Of Alcoholic Glow	Sober because of parents attendance
			£2.00
Ian H.	100 Avoidance	Again
	Impersonating Cat
	Selective Hobbling	When batting – not running 2s for his partner
	Persecuting Gary	Running him out again
	Taking Joy In Demise Of Fellow Player [Gary]	“It was quite funny.”
	Bad Grammar	Talking bollocks
	Impersonating Ice Cream	“99”
	Parkinson Cob		£1.00
			£2.75
Nick	Instigating Run Out	Umpiring during the Gary and Ian H fiasco
	Trying To Speed Up Game
	Self-Importance
	Fennel Avoidance
	Smugness
	Stray Dog Avoidance
	Pissing While Showering
	Slip Confusion	Confusing 1^st and 2^nd slip
	Persecuting Gary	Offering him advice on his running
	Confusion
	Being Dim Whilst Trying To Sound Clever
			£2.75
Moo	Comedy Fielding * 3		75p
	Disrespecting Fines Committee	Aloof mannerisms
	Self-Importance
	Buying A Wicket Via Captaincy	Bowling against turd batsmen
	Earning A New Nickname
	Playing For Himself	Bowling against crap batsmen
	Dreaming About Average Protection	“A nice little not out here would be good.”
	Taunting Thornton
	Bullying An Old Man Behind His Back	Disrespecting the old umpire
	Losing Toss		50p
			£3.25
		TOTAL	£26.75

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Looking Uber-Smug (overly arrogant and condescending)	£0.50
Extreme Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£0.50
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2