“The Inanimate Object Inspector’s Lonely Duck Report”

Match: 10 / 196

Won by 9 runs

Team	Total
FFTMCC	148
D. Edwards 63, S. Dobner 19
Oxford University Press	139
M. Westmoreland 4 - 27, S. Dobner 2 - 10

As an inspector of all things inanimate, it has often been my privilege to inspect and learn more from an object which is energetically challenged. Such was the case this Sunday gone, when I came across a small furry duck sitting in front of a cricket pavilion [apparently going by the name of Duck].

The object didn’t appear to be a duck to water.

The duck showed no signs of life or consciousness, and sat immobile by a small metal bowl of water. I tried to coax some kind of response from it, but it had no vitality and gave me no response. Its eyes were dulled and listless, maybe a result of its inactivity and lack of a regular heartbeat.

During my analysis, I heard a cry from the cricket field – a man pertaining to the name of Andrew Morley had apparently registered “a duck”. A strange occurrence, as I couldn’t visualise another specimen anywhere on the field of play. This gentleman then sat down not more than a few metres from me, and proceeded to curse the inanimate object as he removed his cricketing apparel.

Farewell by inanimate friend….

My inspection was then cut short by a smelly black Labrador dog. It seized on this opportunity of malcontent by plucking the duck up in its mouth. It then turned on its heels and leaving me to ponder my thoughts on this most interesting of inspections.

‘Inanimate Object Inspector’