“Emotional Baggage Blamed
As MAD Slump to Milton Defeat”
Match: 10 / 197
Lost by 10 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Milton CC |
134 - 4 |
|
A.
Darley 1 - 13, D. Emerson
1 - 17 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
124 |
|
A.
Darley 52, D. Edwards
22 |
|
|
Can it really be four years further on, from that
fateful day in June 2006 when The MAD imploded in one of the great cricketing collapses? 9 wickets fell on that day in 9
fitful overs for a dismal 9 runs – and an inquest into the manner of the
defeat carried on long into the off-season. Those that were present still
carry some of the emotional baggage from that day, glazing over and becoming
pale of skin when any mention of that
match crops up in conversation. It was truly pathetic. The Mount Everest of turd….
J. Pearson
and Joe Puppy (centre) had no emotional baggage before this day. In subsequent years, it seems little was ever learnt
from defeat at the Warriner School ground in 2006. Three more trips were
made, and three more losses incurred. Yet on every occasion, whilst tasting
bitter defeat, The MAD would rationalise that they were unlucky – and that
they were actually a better and more skilful outfit than this Milton lot and
that they really should beat them.
This questionable attitude was underlined in 2007, when the then skipper, I.
Howarth, decided in all his infinite wisdom to partially reverse the batting
order whilst chasing a meagre total. His arrogance was contemptible and The
MAD duly lost in embarrassing fashion with said skipper left stranded on 0
not out…. So there is always history surrounding this away fixture each and every year. It
is THE acid test for the assembled
Mad. With Bloxham representing probably the furthest distance to travel to
any away game [near Banbury], losing can make the journey back home almost
unpalatable. So would a new decade usher in any change of fortunes? The cast
on this particular Bank Holiday seemed to think so, especially under the
stewardship of one M. Westmoreland – a skipper still bathing in the glow of The
MAD’s superb [comeback] victory but a week ago. Optimism, reasonable weather,
and a pre-match pint [or two] in a pub free of face-painted pagan festival
goers all boded well.
N. Hebbes
defends, with the famous Warriner School tree in the background. After winning the toss, Milton raised a few eyebrows by
electing to bat first on what appeared to be a bit of a green top. This
proved to be the case as opening bowlers D. Emerson (7-0-17-1) and J. Pearson
(7-0-18-1) extracted bounce and seam movement aplenty, with M. Bullock
pouching a smart catch in his unfamiliar role of first slip. A. Darley
(5-1-13-1) also enjoyed conditions, with his accurate spell rewarded by
having C. Price (5) caught by J. Hoskins at short mid-off. Though the bowling throughout the Milton innings was
neat and tidy, The MAD fielding was the polar opposite. At times, the casual
observer wouldn’t have been criticised for thinking it was a bunch of
visually impaired outpatients suffering from acute arthritis. In all,
something like 8 or 9 catches were shelled or grassed, as Team Mad bumbled
and hobbled around the pitch in a vain attempt to back up their bowlers.
Would this later be crucial?
M.
Westmoreland (left) passes S. Dobner on his way to the gallows. Despite a worrying blip of the yips, M. Westmoreland
(7-2-33-1) bagged the prize scalp of A. Stanley for 35, and with S. Dobner
(8-2-21-0) proving as miserly as ever, Milton never ever got fully into their
stride. There were a couple of lustful blows late on off a below-par J.
Hoskins (6-0-29-0) but runs proved elusive as the home team eventually
finished on 134-4 off their allotted overs. It was an odd innings in a way, with many in The MAD
ranks querying at the tea interval as to why Milton hadn’t given it more umpty given their wickets in hand?
Maybe Milton realised it wasn’t that
kind of a track to bat on? Maybe not. Or was this simply local knowledge
playing its hand…? In reply, an insipid start to The MAD innings was
furtherly compounded by the early losses of N. Hebbes (4), I. Howarth (0) and
M. Reeves (1) and when the obdurate D. Edwards (22) was castled by youngster
M. Tremlett, The MAD were tottering on a wobbly 35-4 off 17 excruciating dot
filled overs.
“It would
appear we’re in another fine mess, Michael….” It was extremely hard going out in the middle, but M.
Bullock and A. Darley held firm in chewing up a further 10 overs and pushing
the score along to the lofty heights of 67. At this conjuncture, Matt (8)
heard the death rattle and retreated to join his increasingly worried team
mates back in the increasingly cold pavilion. It would be about this time
that the prophets of doom became vocal – most of whom had experienced abject
failure in Bloxham in the past. Two of these gentlemen sat huddled in the
shadows, mumbling under their collective breath about “here we go again” and
“what the fuck are we doing…?” They then took it in turns to right the wrong
and both came up short – S. Dobner bowled for 3 and the skipper caught for a
less than laudable 8.
James’
Mongoose bat is less designed for protecting your bollocks. One man who is never short of optimism – neigh some
would say deluded – is J. Hoskins (9), and he provided a cheerful cameo
before J. Laight managed to seam a ball from leg to off (apparently) to
rearrange his woodwork. Things would have been extremely grim at this point,
but for The MAD still possessing batsmen who were largely free of (Milton)
emotional baggage (MEB for short). One of this number was the much maligned
A. Darley, who despite a chronic lack of self-confidence had merrily been
tonking the ball about whilst carnage ensued at the other end. After a
drunken D. Emerson (3) had wobbled off stage, it was with great cheer that he
brought up his fifty – a six into the pavilion to finally cast away his inner
demons [oh, yes – he’ll find some more no doubt]. He had rode his luck, for
sure, but it wasn’t Andrew’s fault the opposition couldn’t catch a cold, and
it certainly wasn’t Andrew’s fault that he was left to shoulder The MAD run
chase with Milton virgin, J. Pearson (1*) for company.
Left to do
everything on his own – A. Darley (52) hoiks another boundary. With just 11 runs needed for a most unlikely victory,
and with Mad pessimism temporarily relegated to the makeshift crapper behind
the pavilion – Mr. Darley (52) took one risk too many and holed out to a
scampering N. Reeves at deep cow. There was a huge collective sigh, before
obvious recriminations started in which everything and everyone was blamed.
Excuses ranged from tiredness, nausea, injury, bad luck, overt pessimism, alcohol,
slow batting, a crap track, shit fielding, karma, bringing a black dog to the
ground, MEB and having Ian Howarth in the side…. The players would summarily end the day with their
usual post-mortem at the Black Boy pub in Bloxham, where ex-Fines Chairman,
J. Hotson, did a wonderful job in raising enough money to have the entire
team book into extensive sports psychology classes with world renowned
professor, E. Veryfuckingtime. ‘Ducky’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Milton CC Played at Bloxham (Warriner School),
30 May 2010 Milton CC won the toss and elected to
bat Milton CC won by 10 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
10 / 197 40 over match |
|
Team |
Milton CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
A. Stanley |
b Westmoreland |
35 |
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
P. Hopkins |
c Bullock b Pearson |
8 |
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
C. Price |
c Hoskins b Darley |
5 |
|
|
|
|
|
4 |
C. Kinch |
b Emerson |
22 |
|
|
|
|
|
5 |
G. Fletcher |
not out |
37 |
|
|
|
|
|
6 |
J. Brodey |
not out |
6 |
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
O. Redford |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
J. Laight |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
M. Tremlett |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
R. Hill |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
N. Reeves |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W15, LB5, B1) |
21 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 40 overs) |
134 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Emerson |
7 |
0 |
17 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Pearson |
7 |
0 |
18 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Darley |
5 |
1 |
13 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Westmoreland |
7 |
2 |
33 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
Dobner |
8 |
2 |
21 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Hoskins |
6 |
0 |
29 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
D. M. Edwards |
b Tremlett |
22 |
(49) |
2 |
- |
3-32 |
|
2 |
N. J. Hebbes |
lbw b Reeves |
4 |
(17) |
- |
- |
1-9 |
|
3 |
I. Howarth + |
c and b Hill |
0 |
(8) |
- |
- |
2-16 |
|
4 |
M. K. Reeves |
c Stanley b Fletcher |
1 |
(19) |
- |
- |
4-35 |
|
5 |
M. Bullock |
b Fletcher |
8 |
(38) |
- |
- |
5-67 |
|
6 |
A. Darley |
c Reeves b Laight |
52 |
(51) |
4 |
1 |
10-124 |
|
7 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
b Redford |
4 |
(18) |
- |
- |
6-74 |
|
8 |
M. T. Westmoreland * |
c Stanley b Redford |
8 |
(11) |
1 |
- |
7-84 |
|
9 |
J. D. Hoskins |
b Laight |
9 |
(12) |
1 |
- |
8-103 |
|
10 |
D. Emerson |
c Brodey b Tremlett |
3 |
(7) |
- |
- |
9-115 |
|
11 |
J. W. Pearson |
not out |
1 |
(4) |
- |
- |
- |
|
|
Extras |
(NB1, W8, LB1, B2) |
12 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 38.5 overs) |
124 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Reeves |
8 |
3 |
12 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Hill |
5 |
2 |
8 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Tremlett |
8 |
1 |
23 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Fletcher |
8 |
1 |
20 |
2 |
|
|
5 |
Redford |
6 |
1 |
26 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Laight |
3.5 |
0 |
31 |
2 |
|
|
MOTM: A. Darley Champagne Moment: A. Darley’s six into
the clubhouse Buffet Award: J. D. Hoskins’ Bloxham
marinated chicken steaks (with rice) |
Opposition:
V040 / 06 Ground: G029 / 05 Captain: C011 / 26 |