Match: 10
/ 219
Match
Tied
Team |
Total |
FFTMCC |
179 - 4 |
I. Howarth 53, D. Edwards
45 |
|
|
|
Astons CC |
179 |
D. Edwards 4 - 12, J. Pearson
3 - 27 |
After an exhausting and
rather gruelling weekend of cricket, Dan Edwards prepared to bowl at the
Astons’ number ten batsman, M. Moore. The scores were tied at 179 apiece and
the final pair were at the crease. The tension was palpable. There were of
course several skippers on the field, all waving their arms about frantically
and directing the flow of traffic. “We need one out, and everybody else in!”
shouted one. “Bollocks!” countered another, “we need three out cow, a slip,
and everyone else in on the one.” “Put everyone out – this guy’s just a
bloody slogger!” came another. The suggestions and arguments raged until
Edwards could bear no more. He simply bowled. His worst ball of the day… From soporific beginnings, the pavilion was
jumping by the end of the match. …it looped in the air
with barely enough energy to reach the other end. It was the pie to beat all
pies – lightly glazed with a nice fold on the perimeter of the pastry. Mr.
Moore’s eyes popped out on stalks as a long strand of saliva dribbled from
the corner of his mouth as he decided on which portion of the ground to twat
it. Astoundingly, as his bat cleaved through the air – he failed to connect
and missed the damned thing. Worse,
for him anyway, he heard the clink of a bail. OUT!!! Remarkable – after 3
days of an intensive cricketing marathon, the final match of the weekend had
ended in a tie. As it transpired, Edwards’ wicket was the final act of The MAD’s 2010 season. A fitting finale to any
season. Somehow, it just felt…
right. Howarth and Edwards later return to the middle
after a quick nap. Earlier in the day a
group of Mad had assembled in the beer garden of the Chequers pub just down
the road, for the now traditional pre-match pint. The inclement weather
didn’t exactly inspire the mood of the gathering and the skipper, Mr.
Westmoreland, questioned the motives for assuming the game was on. “Stevie
D’s driving all the way from Essex to come here – you should have checked the
ground was okay?” “Fuck him,” stated Howarth “he needs the exercise.” The
arrival of Mr. Bullock did little to alleviate the general atmosphere either;
our chairman opting out of a beer due to excesses the day before. Relocating to the cricket
ground, it quickly became clear that the pitch was going to provide plenty of
help to the bowlers. It’s brown, mud-like surface was interspersed with the
odd copse of squashed grass and autumnal leaves. As with any important toss
this year, Martin correctly called wrongly and The MAD
were inserted into bat. “What do we do, skip?” enquired the troops. “We’ve
never batted first in a timed
game.” The skipper mused for a second before replying in a matter-of-fact way
that “we bat for two and half hours. Simple. Can’t be any fucking easier than
that, can it?” J. Hoskins finally clarifies why he drives a
hairdresser’s car. Runs at the top of The
MAD batting order had largely been at a premium this year. When one of the
guys fired, the rest of them bolted down a rabbit hole looking for a batting
manual. There had been signs of improvement recently, but seeing the ball
swinging and seaming past the blades of D. Edwards and I. Howarth hardly
caused ripples of confidence among the team. Nor did the trampoline bounce
and occasional squally shower. It was nothing short of a miracle that The MAD’s
opening combo survived for the first hour – their cause helped in no small measure
by the home team’s refusal to catch anything. As the minutes ticked by
and the weather started to clear up, batting became easier as Aston shoulders
drooped. The partnership continued, with Martin now left with the quandary of
when to “get after it” – and what was actually a decent total to set. He
judged about an hour to tea to start upping the tempo, and after a few swats
for four, Howarth (53) was bowled doing just that. It was the end of fine
opening partnership of 94 which in the end had spanned some 31 overs and also an impromptu pitch-side haircut for rock star, Jake
Hotson. M. Bullock (41*) thrashes another through the
covers. Edwards (45), N. Hebbes
(10) and S. Dobner (4) would follow soon after, and the decision of how to
play the remainder of the innings was becoming ever more complex. Usurping I.
Leggate in the batting order, M. Westmoreland joined M. Bullock out in the middle
– probably on the understanding he was in a better position to control things
thereon in. He needn’t have worried, because
after many years in the batting wilderness, and after several threats of
retirement, Matt Bullock treated his team mates to the cameo to beat all
cameos. After taking a total of 20 balls to get off the mark, and causing J.
Hotson to sweat on his Slowest Duck
record, Matt unfurled a succession of tonks through
the covers to race onto 41 not out – a career best. Finally, the destroyer of
all bowling in the pre-season nets
had transferred that ability to a live match
day environment. Together with Martin (11*) the pair pushed The MAD total
to 179-4 at tea off 51 overs (a club record). When it comes to eating BIG – Martin is the ideal
role model. As the team launched
their assault on all things quiche and sandwich, Martin fielded questions on
what exactly they were doing next. “Apparently,” he started “it’s the
honourable thing ‘round these parts to declare
at tea. We won’t be batting on – that’s it. We’re done. We’re declaring.” Had
The MAD screwed the pace of their innings up? Was
179 a decent total? Was the track still sporting demons? Had they taken the
piss by batting 51 overs? Nobody really knew the answers to these questions
as they’d never batted first in a timed
game before. I guess they’d find out soon enough…. On resumption of the
match, the hosts were quickly reduced to not-that-many [scorebook omission]
for 4, as both J. Pearson (6-2-27-3) and D. Emerson (10-2-45-1) carved
through the Astons top order on a pitch still providing plenty of assistance.
It certainly helped that The MAD slip cordon could catch (Nick, Jake and Matt take a bow) and to think they
never even practiced on the cradle beforehand – arrogance personified. Astons player L. Gray demonstrates how not to
catch (and bust his finger). If the visitors thought
this match was now a foregone conclusion [do they ever?], they were then in
for a very rude awakening. In the 45 minutes of the final hour before the
last 20 overs [or something like that], young C. Bonwell
and veteran tonkmeister, T. Dew, peppered the
surrounding hedgerows at will. Of the cricketing bummings
dished out, M. Westmoreland (4-0-43-0) suffered the most – particularly in
lieu of the fact he’d used the rest of his lube during the Portchester
onslaught the previous day. Finally, perhaps with the clock ticking to his
bedtime, Bonwell (63) flashed at one too many, holing out to leave the Astons
on 112-5. Into the final 20 overs
[or something like that], or final extra hour, or some portion of the match
that nobody fully understood [at least from a Mad perspective] – S. Dobner
(8-1-27-2) was working up a full head of steam [downhill]. Having despatched
young Bonwell in his previous over, he rocked back Mr. Dew’s (40) timber to
boot. Could The MAD finally see out victory? No. The
Astons bat in depth these days – and before long, J. Shea and D. White were
now hammering the ball about instead. What to do? Oh, what to
do? Martin (batting) earlier gave spectators a
glimpse of his levitating prowess. In a final throw of the
dice, Martin reasoned on giving Edwards (3.1-0-12-4) a twirl. Maybe that octopus-in-a-washing-machine action of
his would cause consternation in the Aston minds? It did! Leggate caught a
beauty in the covers to remove Shea (15), White (32) missed a blueberry bun
and got triggered, and wily S. Smith (1) was bowled by a jam doughnut. It all
left the final pairing of M. Moore and Judas T. Smith requiring a handful of
runs for victory. This they managed until the scores were tied; and the rest
as they say is history…. Opinion seemed divided
in the pub afterwards concerning the merits and shortcomings of timed cricket. It still seemed a
totally alien concept, but nobody could deny the success of the day as a
cricketing memory. Timed cricket? Mad
declarations? Tied games? Whatever next…. Leaves now tumble from
the trees as winter draws near, kit bags disappear under beds and the curtain
comes down. For this season anyway. See you lads at nets in 2011…. ‘KP’
|
*
Far from the MCC versus Astons CC Played at Aston Tirrold,
5 September 2010 Astons CC won the toss and elected to field Match Tied Far from the MCC debuts: none |
10 / 219 40 over match |
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
D. M. Edwards |
c Barlow b Shea |
45 |
(115) |
7 |
- |
3-118 |
2 |
I. Howarth |
b S. Smith |
53 |
(86) |
8 |
- |
1-94 |
3 |
N. J. Hebbes |
lbw b Shea |
10 |
(10) |
1 |
- |
2-113 |
4 |
M. Bullock |
not out |
41 |
(59) |
5 |
- |
- |
5 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
lbw b Shea |
4 |
(19) |
- |
- |
4-138 |
6 |
M. T. Westmoreland * |
not out |
11 |
(14) |
- |
- |
- |
7 |
I. C. Leggate |
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
J. D. Hoskins |
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
D. Emerson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
J. W. Pearson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
J. C. W. Hotson + |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W11, LB4) |
15 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 51 overs) |
179 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
1 |
Gray |
8 |
1 |
17 |
0 |
|
2 |
Bonwell |
10 |
1 |
30 |
0 |
|
3 |
White |
6 |
2 |
18 |
0 |
|
4 |
Dew |
7 |
2 |
27 |
0 |
|
5 |
S. Smith |
9 |
3 |
24 |
1 |
|
6 |
Shea |
8 |
1 |
34 |
3 |
|
7 |
Moore |
3 |
0 |
25 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: L. Gray was injured
whilst fielding and replaced by T. P. W. Smith |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Astons CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
R. A. Smith *+ |
c Hotson b Pearson |
2 |
|
|
|
2-10 |
2 |
D. Barlow |
c and b Pearson |
0 |
|
|
|
1-0 |
3 |
C. Bonwell |
c Westmoreland b Dobner |
63 |
|
|
|
|
4 |
J. Imbush |
c Hebbes b Pearson |
0 |
|
|
|
|
5 |
B. Hargreaves |
c Bullock b Emerson |
2 |
|
|
|
|
6 |
T. Dew |
b Dobner |
40 |
|
|
|
|
7 |
J. Shea |
c Leggate b Edwards |
15 |
|
|
|
|
8 |
D. White |
lbw b Edwards |
32 |
|
|
|
|
9 |
S. Smith |
b Edwards |
1 |
|
|
|
|
10 |
M. Moore |
b Edwards |
7 |
|
|
|
10-179 |
11 |
T. P. W. Smith |
not out |
1 |
|
|
|
- |
|
Extras |
(W3, B3) |
6 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 35.1 overs) |
179 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
1 |
Emerson |
10 |
2 |
45 |
1 |
|
2 |
Pearson |
6 |
2 |
27 |
3 |
|
3 |
Westmoreland |
4 |
0 |
43 |
0 |
|
4 |
Dobner |
8 |
1 |
27 |
2 |
|
5 |
Hebbes |
4 |
0 |
15 |
0 |
|
6 |
Edwards |
3.1 |
0 |
12 |
4 |
|
MOTM: D. M. Edwards Champagne Moment: J. C. W. Hotson’s fine
diving catch behind Buffet
Award: M. T. Westmoreland’s steak
and ale pie (with mushroom sauce) |
Opposition:
V046 / 06 Ground: G035 / 04 Captain: C011 / 44 |