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“2011 AGM Report”
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Due to the club deciding that two piss-ups were
better than one, the 2011 MAD AGM was brought forward to the month of October
this year to allow a later booze cruise in December. Yo
ho ho!
Father Xmas
and his big bag of MAD shit. This year’s event followed
club pieman Ade Fisher to the Fir Tree on Iffley Road, and despite its
cramped facilities, the evening was a huge success thanks to the participants
and their generosity during Jake’s auction of ageing, and largely shit, club
kit. In total, £174.50 was raised. Without further ado,
herewith the notes from the AGM – or at least the ones that made it onto some
form of paper not ruined by spilt beer and spirits…. ‘M. Inutes’
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Part I –
Notes on attendance Apologies for absence: Steve
Dobner (emailed
about not turning up) Richard
Hadfield Ben
Mander Tony
Mander Dave
Shorten (talked
about turning up, but then didn’t)
A 100% turn out of women players to have played this season. Present: Matt
Bullock (Chairman) Andrew
Darley (Social
Secretary) Duck Dave
Emerson (Director
of Cricket) Ade
Fisher Nick
Hebbes (Director
of Overseas Development) Jake
Hotson (T20
Captain, Auctioneer) Ian
Howarth (Fixtures
Secretary, Minutes) Ian
Leggate (Fines
Chairman) Patrick Mellor James
Pearson Mike
Reeves (Treasurer) Chris
Roberts Thornton
Smith Sandra
Steinhauer Gary
Timms Martin
Westmoreland (Captain) |
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Part II – Chairman’s Welcome
Chairman Matt (right) looks for divine
intervention…. After calling for order
following a drinks break to the pre-AGM drink, the
Chairman thanked the team for continuing to play with an excellent “MAD”
spirit during a sometimes difficult season. The character of the team had
shone through and there were many notable successes to offset the
mind-numbing failures – of which there were plenty…. He also went into some other
stuff and some statistics but none were recorded, so
apologies for that. |
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Part III – Captain’s Report After a tumultuous third
season at the helm, Skipper Westmoreland began by thanking the team for
sticking with it despite a season of regular lows punctuated with only the
occasional highs – despite this, the spirit of the team had shone through.
Special praise for team members turning up each week, walking out to the
middle and then walking back soon after. Martin then trotted out a plethora
of stats proving he has lost none of his numeric zeal since resigning as
Treasurer…. Moo’s stats: The MAD have played 35 games Scored over 4000 runs Hit 505 boundaries (474 fours
and 31 sixes) Faced nearly 6000 balls Taken over 200 wickets Conceded nearly 5000 runs Caught 73 catches, but probably
dropped double that…. Ran 26 batsmen out Collected 72 ducks Won 9 and lost 26 matches
Amongst the skipper’s fondest memories from the
season were: Having a winning record after
the first 3 matches. The non-existent tournament to
witness Paddy’s face – when the price of hot dogs were
halved shortly after he’d bought one. Pearson finally proving he can
bat with a classy 71 at Wootton & Boars Hill CC. Reevsie “cementing his place at
the top of the order” with 29 at the Nomads – then failing to better it for
the rest of the season whilst collecting ducks. Being skittled for 71 at the Fat
Boys. The Blenheim collapse (those
involved know who they were….) Snapping the 13
match losing streak against a bunch of OAPs The relief at Jake saying “yes”
to skippering the T20s An excellent tour to Southsea
including Spam’s Hernia Hundred, Gonzo’s last stand, and Wonky eventually
waking up with the bat to bag 95. The T20 Bodleian game in the
downpour where we snatched defeat from victory…. Reevsie’s 5-for at Astons CC. Revenge against the Fat Boys
whilst chasing down a record total.
Gonzo’s champagne was not a
product of that 35 run over. Martin continued by making
mention of a few new players joining and some older ones returning, and also
a few who just couldn’t be arsed. Only one world to
sum up the season – MAD! In closing an involving and interesting speech, he
threw down another myriad of batting and bowling stats from the year…. More Moo stats: Four batting partnership
position wickets fell (2nd, 8th, 9th and 10th. The most individual runs scored
in a season is now 724 (Ian Howarth). Paddy Mellor set a record for
consecutive dismissals to run outs (5) – to quote Zamo
from Grange Hill “just say NO!!!” Howarth passed 4,500 runs,
whilst D. Edwards and M. Westmoreland passed 2,500. James Hoskins is 16 short of
1,000 career runs, and now 1 short of 200 wickets. Duck records were shattered left
right and centre. Hoskins and Emerson broke the
record for most wickets in a season – 38 and 35 respectively. The most expensive over was
recorded when Ian Leggate (above) went for 35 at Longparish CC on Tour. |
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Part IV – Treasurer’s Report Mr. Reeves began his speech
on the welfare of the club by stating that the Far from the MCC were solvent,
but only just, as an income of £3,038 was offset by outgoings of £2,924. Mike
was already prepared to run pettiness out of town and chase up any
outstanding debts. There will be no quantitative easing, as there is no
quantity to ease….
Mike is so tight as Treasurer – the players
had to buy their own dinner…. Subs are to remain at £30 for
next season and match fees likewise at £5. All T20 matches will see their
fees increased to £5 – although there will be no fines for the evening
format. Extra revenue will hopefully be raised by a bastard Fines Chairman
and the sponsorship of matches for Fantasy Cricket. In summarising, Mike
declared that actually playing
games was bad for finances and hopes 2012 is a complete washout. |
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Part V – Season 2011 Looking into the crystal ball,
the club hope to make use of the Folly Bridge and Fir Tree whenever home
matches allow (sponsorship has been mooted). Details of nets and coaching
will be posted when Dave Emerson and Andrew
“This guy can get a coach to improve my batting? Fuck
off.” Martin will be ordering
another round of merchandise in the New Year. Hoodies proved a spectacular
success last term, whereas baggies were shite. Club
whites have been mooted, but whatever the order – PLEASE SPECIFY YOUR SIZE!
Failure to do so will leave you trying to clamber in apparel relating to
“small”. The size of The MAD’s playing
staff is considered to be such there is room for a few extra cricketers. The
emphasis here is on “cricketers” – i.e people who have actually played the
game since primary school days and know which end of a bat to hold. The doors
are considered closed to the further acquirement of “enthusiastic
non-cricketing” types, but the club will entertain whoever in times of dire
emergency…. |
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Part VI – Tour 2012
The Blue Beret will be an essential purchase before the 2012 Tour. Next year’s Tour will
encompass Great Yarmouth, Norfolk, whereby the club will seek to continue a
friendship moulded this summer when hosting the Saxlingham Gents CC. Ian
Howarth and Dave Emerson have stepped up to the role of Tour Organisers for
this expedition next year. They purportedly will keep the club up-to-date as details are rubber stamped. |
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Part VII – Team Ethos Occasionally it is felt
necessary for the Chairman to bring certain matters to the attention of the
team, for the good of the team. Next year will see the beginning of the
“Clean up the Club” campaign. It is felt the team as a
whole need to conduct themselves far more responsibly on and off the pitch. A £10 fine is to be introduced for anyone caught drinking or smoking on
the pitch. It is suggested that if a player feels the urge to do either
during fielding that they seek the approval of the Skipper and leave the
field of play. Whether they slip down the pecking order of being picked for
subsequent matches is up to the Captain’s discretion. Drinking on the pitch
is considered shoddy and undesirable.
“Ferrell underclasses” are to be targeted in the new campaign. Language is regularly
colourful and whilst the club has no problems in general with that, it is
felt it should be moderated and at least monitored around minors and the
general public. The age of FFTMCC children is now such that some of the
players have actually become role models (god help the world)…. Whilst the above measures may
seem draconian in some quarters, they were universally accepted by those
present – and that the changing rooms are for the sanctuary of players only.
There are to be NO children, women, dogs, cats, rabbits
or prostitutes allowed in from this point onwards. The rooms represent the
one place a player can let off steam. Action point for the team: PLEASE close
the windows prior to a cob / loss of temper. |
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Part VIII – Committee Member Elections Always a popular part of the evening – voting for the
following season’s Committee positions would take up the following hour.
Herewith the results after all votes were tallied, rigged
and doctored….
There was no elected position of
‘Director of Run Outs’ for Mr Mellor (left)…. Elected Committee Posts Chairman Matt Bullock - continues in the role, unopposed. Fixtures
Secretary Ian Howarth - wishes to continue in the
position, unopposed. Treasurer Mike Reeves - to continue in his role and is duly
elected, unopposed. Captain Martin Westmoreland - to continue as the Skipper, unopposed. T20
Captain Jake Hotson - to continue in his capacity as T20
Captain, unopposed. Please note:
he is open to bribes for the financial benefit of the Club to entertain
‘guest’ skippers on the day. Vice
Captain Jake Hotson and Steve Dobner - to continue in their joint role, unopposed. Director
of Cricket Dave Emerson - to continue in the role, unopposed. * Non-Committee Posts Tour
Organiser(s) 2012 Ian Howarth and Dave Emerson - a
coalition are enlisted for Tour. Jake Hotson and
Thornton Smith (coalition) are muted for 2013. Fines
Chairman Paddy Mellor and Dave Emerson - both contested the role, and both will
brandish the gavel (equal vote). Social
Secretary Dan Edwards - ushered into the role after
the resignation of incumbent Secretary Mr. Darley, unopposed. Director
of Overseas Development Sandra Steinhauer -
is elected, seeing off applications from Chris Roberts and Nick Hebbes. |
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Part IX – FFTMCC Awards The following MAD awards and trophies were voted upon
whilst team members were pissed, tallied and rigged,
with the below dubious winners announced….
Dave Emerson holds aloft Ian Howarth’s
POTS award.
Roll of MAD Honours Player
Of The Season Dave Emerson Most
Improved Player Jake Hotson Effort Jake Hotson Champagne
Moment Ian Leggate - amazing back-peddling boundary catch (v
Horspath CC #220) James’
MAD Fantasy Cricket James Pearson
Gary sinks to a new low…. Humorous and Lesser Miscellaneous Awards Most
Ducks Gary Timms - a staggering 8 in total |
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Part X – Any Other Business Anthony Mander is promoted to
being recognised as an honouree “Patron” after many years bankrolling and
playing for the Far from the MCC. And not before time we might add. A
universally popular decision, it is hoped it encourages ‘Our Tony’ to part
with another King’s ransom for club coffers in the forthcoming years.
Apologies to Tony for the library
footage. |
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Part XI – Club Auction Last, but certainly by no
means least, a special mention and round up of Jake’s Mad Club Kit Auction
which took part towards the end of the evening….
Welcome to a world of LBW pain next season, James. Over the years the team has
acquired a shed load of cricket gear (or shite) that
is now largely redundant – save for equipment that Mr Hotson lugs around in
multiple kit bags for each and every game. With the majority of players now
owning their own kit, it was decided to offload an armoury of this “booty” in
an auction to raise much needed collateral for club finances. A total of
£174.50 was raised – so many thanks to Jake for organising.
A list of some of the crap (above) that somehow found a new home. Here
is to a tremendous MAD season in 2012!!! |
