“Lightning Strikes Twice
As Poole Loses his Rag”
Match: 11
/ 242
Won
by 4 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
Wootton &
Bladon CC |
196 - 4 |
|
J. Hoskins 2 - 36 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
200 - 6 |
|
I. Howarth 85, D. Edwards
45 |
|
|
They say lightning never
strikes twice – so spare a thought for the rotund chaps from Wootton &
Bladon CC, who for the second year running contrived to be the recipients of
another record breaking Mad run-chase. Actually, don’t spare a thought for them. This is the same team The MAD have enjoyed a love / hate relationship for
countless years, and the same team who whipped our arses at the start of the
season [on a pitch not fit for a rugby match]. No, sod ‘em – The Mad have had
a wretched time of late, so how nice that Poole Snr & The Gang had one
put over them in a match that threatened to spill over towards the end… or,
at least Poole Snr threatened to spill over at the end. Har har har.
The FFTMCC are much smaller in stature these
days. After the dispiriting
tonking in Woodstock some three months ago, The MAD thinking was that the
tables may well have turned. All those puny, sniffly little W&B kids we
used to enjoy beating up on Sundays had now matured into strapping 6 footers
who knew their way around a cricket field. The old guard were still there,
albeit even older, and no bloody wiser I might add; but they were still there – and they exuded an
arrogance bordering on contempt that day in Woodstock. They probably thought
“you’ve had your fun over the past few years guys, now we’re gonna give you
some back you fuckers – enjoy batting on this turd of a pitch. Kids – let it
rip!” And the kids did just that. They shot us out for 72 in the most
embarrassing fashion. These little guttersnipes hollered and whooped with
every dismissal as they tore us a new arsehole. They smashed us to pieces in
all fairness – retribution for years of toil and Mad success. It hurt, it
really did. The FFTMCC flag flapping limply at half-mast well before the
end….
Duck finds it hard to watch The MAD these days…. Having lost his Midas
touch with the coin of late, skipper Westmoreland continued that trend; and
with a collective “fuck me” the team resigned themselves to another 40 overs
of fielding in the heat and humidity. Maybe this resignation was key, for The
MAD put in one of their worst fielding performances in living memory. The
bowling was good, as it has for most the season, with D. Emerson (8-0-35-1)
and J. Newman (8-1-38-0) excellent in the beginnings. The main course was
equally tidy as D. Shorten (7-2-24-0) swung it prodigiously, and Mr. Hoskins
(8-0-36-2) tempted the batsmen into danger; but runs were haemorrhaging all
around as the team fumbled and groped on the grass. Comical classics included
Hoskins and Smith holding hands whilst chasing a ball to the boundary;
Hoskins hurdling the ball at cover [twice]; Howarth creaking under a
spiraller without laying a hand on it [and falling in a heap], and Emerson
and Dobner holding court whilst the ball just sailed between them. There were
many others too. Just as well T. Smith clung onto a sharp catch from T.
Clapham (53) or things might have got out of hand….
Cricket – endless discussions about endless
permutations. Though never quite
inching away, Wootton did start to chance their arm towards the latter part
of their innings with Westmoreland (5-0-28-0) and Reeves (4-0-22-0) coming
under particular fire. Was 196-4 a decent total? Maybe, but given the current
batting form of the FFTMCC – definitely. What was apparent at the tea
interval to the more observant was the visitor’s score bearing an uncanny
resemblance to that of the previous year [where Wootton scored 195]. That day
in 2010 saw The MAD instigate and complete their greatest ever run chase. Would lightning strike
twice? A psychologist could
spend weeks peeling back the fragile layers of contradictions and brittle
insecurities that form a part of Mad opening batsmen I. Howarth and D.
Edwards. So often the furniture in The MAD batting order, recent troubles had
had both of them questioning their own methods and
methodologies. Would today extend their recent woes? Could they drag another
performance out of themselves to toast end of season? We will see….
Hernia troubles are put aside as I. Howarth (85)
comes good. A wild swipe first ball
gave little indication that Howarth had his head switched on. Indeed, acting
umpire S. Dobner looked to the heavens maybe wondering who designed the
staircase to Ian’s brain. Perhaps worried his guts would fall out of his
hernia, Howarth settled, and together with the ‘Dravidesque’
Edwards, the pair saw off the opening combo off Edwards (no relation
5-1-21-0) and Manuel (6.2-0-40-0), and also the brief and accurate sorties of
Floyd (3-0-13-0) and Barker (8-0-47-0). By the halfway drinks break The MAD
had slowed to 80-0 but lost ten fewer wickets than they did in the previous
encounter. The introduction of a
certain S. Poole enlivened proceedings somewhat. Combining his larger than
life enthusiasm with his now customary unsettling behaviour, Poole Snr goaded
both Mad batsmen in equal amounts – living in hope for a moment of
recklessness. It didn’t happen, but Steve did succeed in getting steadily
angrier, particularly when Howarth picked him up from outside off and lumped
him over deep cow. The air went positively crimson some moments later, when
umpire Westmoreland hung his clothes line out and interrupted his 40 yard run
up to the wicket….
T. Smith demonstrating the perfect forward
defensive. Finally, with the
partnership having realised 133, Edwards went back to a petulant Poole
bouncer that got no higher than his bootlaces. Trapped in front for a stoic
45, it was such a shame his innings should have been ended by sheer bad luck.
Realising that he was now had responsibility of being senior partner, Howarth
immediately reverted to type by clubbing a few boundaries before coughing one
up to point. Gone for 85. Not a century then and not that intelligent either. 141-2 soon became 156-5
as M. Reeves (4), J. Hotson (2) and T. Smith (0) did their level best to
instigate the now legendary Mad
Collapse. Tension was now palpable as Wootton sensed their moment. “One
more” shouted Poole, “and we’ll expose their rabbits. ONE MORE!!!”
Tension is ratcheted up towards the end of the
match. 2011 had been an
extremely taxing season for Martin, skippering a floundering team whilst
experiencing the woes and disillusionment of poor form – it had brought him
much soul searching away from the game. That today he would stand firm and
guide the team home in their greatest run chase may have gone some way to
exercising those demons. Helped by a dogged 13 from Mr. Dobner, the Skipper
(25*) found a willing ally at the death in D. Shorten (6*). They mixed stout
defence with an equal amount of aggression, as Moo, fittingly, smashed the
second ball of the final over past his opposite number for a memorable
victory. Stick that in your pipe
and smoke it Pooley!
M. Westmoreland (25*) prepares to exact the final
rights to Wootton hopes. A genuinely great game
of cricket then – and even in defeat, the guys of Wootton & Bladon joined
in the celebratory drinks at the Folly Bridge pub afterwards as smiles and
euphoria returned to haunted Mad faces. This is what we play for
gentlemen – moments like these. Let us try not to forget it. However hard
circumstances may be. ‘Spam’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Wootton & Bladon CC Played at Brasenose College, 31 July
2011 Wootton
& Bladon CC won the toss and elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 4 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
11 / 242 40 over match |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Wootton
& Bladon CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
T. Poole |
c Westmoreland b Emerson |
8 |
|
|
|
1-10 |
|
2 |
T. Clapham |
c Smith b Hoskins |
53 |
|
|
|
2-79 |
|
3 |
D. Floyd |
not out |
44 |
|
|
|
- |
|
4 |
B. Dale |
b Hoskins |
19 |
|
|
|
3-123 |
|
5 |
R. Bosh |
run out (Newman) |
44 |
|
|
|
4-193 |
|
6 |
D. Debono |
not out |
2 |
|
|
|
- |
|
7 |
S. Poole |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
S. Edwards |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
R. Barker |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
H. Manuel |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
J. Floyd |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB2, W11, LB1, B12) |
26 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 40 overs) |
196 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Emerson |
8 |
0 |
35 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Newman |
8 |
1 |
38 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Shorten |
7 |
2 |
24 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Hoskins |
8 |
0 |
36 |
2 |
|
|
5 |
Westmoreland |
5 |
0 |
28 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Reeves |
4 |
0 |
22 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
D. M. Edwards |
lbw b S. Poole |
45 |
(78) |
10 |
- |
1-133 |
|
2 |
I. Howarth |
c De Bono b Dale |
85 |
(91) |
16 |
- |
2-141 |
|
3 |
M. K. Reeves |
b S. Poole |
4 |
(2) |
1 |
- |
3-146 |
|
4 |
J. C. W. Hotson + |
lbw b S. Poole |
2 |
(9) |
- |
- |
4-153 |
|
5 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
c Edwards b T. Poole |
13 |
(19) |
1 |
- |
6-184 |
|
6 |
T. P. W. Smith |
b Dale |
0 |
(5) |
- |
- |
5-156 |
|
7 |
M. T. Westmoreland * |
not out |
25 |
(27) |
4 |
- |
- |
|
8 |
D. Shorten |
not out |
6 |
(6) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
9 |
J. D. Hoskins |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
J. Newman-Robson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
D. Emerson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB1, W13, LB3, B3) |
20 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 6 wickets, 39.2 overs) |
200 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Edwards |
5 |
1 |
21 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Manuel |
6.2 |
0 |
40 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
J. Floyd |
3 |
0 |
13 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Barker |
8 |
0 |
47 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
S. Poole |
8 |
0 |
39 |
3 |
|
|
6 |
Dale |
5 |
0 |
29 |
2 |
|
|
7 |
T. Poole |
4 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
|
|
MOTM: I. Howarth Champagne Moment: M. T. Westmoreland’s
boundary to win the match Buffet
Award: M. T. Westmoreland’s
strawberry gateaux (with extra thick cream) |
Opposition:
V027 / 16 Ground: G040 / 21 Captain: C011 / 57 |