“Madness as MAD Finish Maddeningly Short

 

 

Match:  11 / 253

Lost by 4 runs

 

 

Team

 

Total

Isis CC

171 - 4

J. Hoskins  1 - 16

 

FFTMCC

167 - 7

R. Hadfield  48*,  I. Howarth  28

 

 

 

 

A lumpy BMX track in scenic Islip threw up an absorbing and mind-altering game of cricket as the Isis ran out winners against the Far from the MCC by a mere 4 runs. In a seesaw match of changing fortunes, it came down to Chris Roberts requiring the small matter of a seven off the final ball to bring The MAD home.

 

 

 

The quintessentially English village of Islip.

 

 

Following on from D. Emerson’s impromptu pre-match Haka in the team changing room, deputy Skipper J. Hotson elected to bowl first on a muddy pudding that doubled as a cricket pitch. C. Roberts (5-0-21-1) immediately found the trampoline bounce suited to his nine foot frame, inducing S. Jayner (8) into a false shot to debutant James Shaw on the point boundary. Factoring in James’ equally vertigo inducing height, this dismissal may well have been the tallest Mad wicket in the team’s proud and ridiculous existence.

 

Of course, lest we forget, Mr. J. Hoskins and Mr. D. Emerson have been contesting their own private duel in recent weeks. With a double header to end an exhaustive 2011, both of them were vying for the egotistical boast of being The MAD’s leading wicket taker for the season. Whilst Dave (7-2-19-0) ran out of puff in the final straight, James would come on strong (4-0-16-1) – only to use his plimsoll whilst fielding off his own bowling before declaring “ouch, argh, ooh you bastard – my feckin’ foot is fooked!” James’ season now but over….

 

 

 

Crock #1 – J. Hoskins scoring.

 

 

The Isis innings continued to mount in total as O. Walter (73*) anchored all their hard work with a studious and resolute assurance. K. Whiter (29) provided some lustful assistance, learning much from the paperback version of “The Village Handbook of Strokeplay”. Keith’s innings eventually unravelling as he missed a straight one off I. Howarth (5-0-30-1). J. Pearson (6-0-33-0) and J. Shaw (2-0-16-0) completed the bowling for The MAD as the opposition realised 171-4 off their 35 overs. A reasonable effort given the teams were playing on a potato field.

 

Tea was a curious affair with both teams making the small walk from the ground to the Red Lion pub in the village. Here they sat out back chomping on white bread sandwiches exchanging banter on “how interesting (tea was) to be sat out back of (the) pub chomping on white bread sandwiches.”

 

 

 

This is what I call a proper cricket tea!

 

 

The MAD’s mercurial Australian talent, which is J. Collins, had a rather splendid average of 98.00 coming into the match – especially if you ignored his first innings for the club back in 2008 [out for not a lot]. With the opportunity of nudging that average over the hundred mark, and thus eclipsing his countryman the great D. G. Bradman, Jenner failed miserably as he was castled for 5. He was followed soon after by J. Pearson (8) who elected to leave a straight one….

 

25-2 would eventually become 86-4, as Howarth (28) cemented a season high volume of runs by borrowing Mr. Whiter’s “Village” handbook. He fell to the tweak of Hudson (5-0-20-1) as D. Edwards’ (20) model of concentration was undone by J. Walter (5-0-25-1). This all merely set the stage for a passage of play so intrinsically odd and chaotic as to be utterly surreal….

 

 

 

Classical public school backward defensive courtesy of J. Pearson.

 

 

The Bodleian cricket team have become the abused child for the FFTMCC over recent years, but earlier this season they reversed that trend and handed The MAD a bloody nose. Spotting a talent that day in James Shaw, Team Mad entrusted the periodically irregular Mr. Hadfield to coax his mate into a plugging a hole in the team. Having agreed in principal to a Mad package which excluded image rights and a loyalty bonus, Mr. Shaw now strode out to join his friend at the crease….

 

Just one ball later and James lay crumpled on the floor with cramp. A runner would now be summoned with Mr. Emerson wobbling his way out to the middle [to commence The MADness]. A few overs later and both Shaw and Emerson were gallivanting up and down the pitch for the same singles…. Realising his folly, Mr. Shaw dispensed with Dave’s help after declaring himself now fit [for purpose] once more.

 

Dave would then find himself being recalled some two overs later, this time with Mr. Hadfield now complaining of discomfort in his “calf”. Once again the three of them went about their business until Mr. Shaw’s (11) extraordinary debut ended with him being caught. James now set sail back to the pavilion only to realise that Emerson [acting as runner for Hadfield] was next at the crease… so he about turned to perform as the new runner for Richard. In effect, a wicket had fallen yet the same three batsmen remained at the crease – nobody returned to the pavilion or entered the field of play.

 

Confused yet???

 

 

 

Debutant J. A. Shaw cramps up after a marathon one ball.

 

 

The curtain eventually came down on this bizarre circus when Hadfield (48*) hit the ball into the covers for the couple he needed for his fifty. Instead of watching Mr. Shaw gallop the runs for him, Richard, caught up in the moment, set off himself – only to collapse in agony a few moments later whilst clutching his calf. He was later carried off the pitch and diagnosed with a torn Achilles at his next stop – the JR Hospital. Poor Richard, if only he had stayed in his crease and let James do his running – he may well have got that elusive [and well deserved] fifty….

 

 

 

A broken Lord Lucan is helped from the field.

 

 

In a frantic finale, The MAD maintained their run-chase thanks to whirlwind cameos from the aforementioned Emerson (13) and M. Reeves (20), but essentially asking for 16 off the final over was perhaps a tad too much. They managed 11 as it turned out, with Skipper Hotson (0*) accompanying Mr. Roberts up and down the pitch as Bob finished on an imperious 3 not out.

 

An summation, a fine game – nip and tuck right up until the end; but it will long be remembered for the 3-piece headlining act known as the “Shaw, Emerson & Hadfield” show.

 

Gentlemen.

One more game to go….

 

 

 

The “Shaw, Emerson & Hadfield Show” – tickets are priced accordingly.

 

 

‘Spam’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

Statto Scorecards

 

 

 

Far from the MCC versus Isis CC

Played at Islip Playing Fields, 10 September 2011

 

Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to field

Isis CC won by 4 runs

 

Far from the MCC debuts:  James Alan Shaw (121)

 

 

11 / 253

 

 

 

 

 

35 over match

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team

Isis CC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

O. Walter

not out

73

 

 

 

-

2

S. Jayna

c Shaw b Roberts

8

 

 

 

1-22

3

R. Kella

lbw b Hoskins

5

 

 

 

2-52

4

K. H. Whiter

b Howarth

29

 

 

 

3-119

5

A. Mohammed

run out (Edwards/Pearson)

15

 

 

 

4-150

6

N. Hussain

not out

10

 

 

 

-

7

J. Walter

 

 

 

 

 

 

8

K. Dhanapalan

 

 

 

 

 

 

9

H. Hudson

 

 

 

 

 

 

10

N. H. R. Wyatt

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

R. Blatchford

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

(NB2, W17, LB1, B11)

31

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 4 wickets, 35 overs)

171

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

Emerson

7

2

19

0

 

2

Roberts

5

0

21

1

 

3

Reeves

6

1

28

0

 

4

Hoskins

4

0

16

1

 

5

Pearson

6

0

33

0

 

6

Shaw

2

0

16

0

 

7

Howarth

5

0

30

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team

Far from the MCC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

J. W. Pearson

b Wyatt

8

(16)

1

-

2-25

2

J. Collins

b Wyatt

5

(4)

1

-

1-8

3

I. Howarth

c Blatchford b Hudson

28

(31)

3

-

3-46

4

D. M. Edwards

c and b Walter

20

(56)

1

-

4-86

5

R. J. B. Hadfield

retired hurt

48

(58)

5

-

-

6

J. A. Shaw

c Hudson b Hussain

11

(13)

1

-

5-108

7

D. Emerson

b Blatchford

13

(14)

-

-

6-135

8

M. K. Reeves

run out (Blatchford)

20

(16)

1

1

7-165

9

C. D. Roberts

not out

3

(4)

-

-

-

10

J. C. W. Hotson *+

not out

0

(0)

-

-

-

11

J. D. Hoskins

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

(NB2, W6, LB1, B2)

11

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 7 wickets, 35 overs)

167

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

Whiter

7

0

38

0

 

2

Wyatt

7

1

21

2

 

3

Hudson

5

0

20

1

 

4

Blatchford

7

1

34

1

 

5

S. Walter

5

0

25

1

 

6

Hussain

4

0

24

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note:  R. J. B. Hadfield retired hurt on 150-6

 

 

 

 

MOTM:  R. J. B. Hadfield

Champagne Moment:  J. A. Shaw’s sliding catch in the deep

Buffet Award:  J. A. Shaw’s towering zinger burgers (with relish and chips)

 

 

Opposition:  V009 / 07

Ground:  G055 / 01

Captain:  C012 / 14