“When is a Wide not a Wide?”

Match: 11 / 236

Won by 7 wkts

Team	Total
Saxlingham Gents	101 - 7
T. Smith 2 - 2
FFTMCC	102 - 3
D. Emerson 30*, T. Smith 26*

To whom it may concern,

Could you settle an argument for us please? I’ll set the scene….

‘You can’t hit a Wide’ comes the proclamation. ‘Well, you could if you wanted to’ comes the counter argument’. Cue five man discussion on whether you can hit a wide. ‘Well if you hit a Wide ball then it’s not scored as a wide so you can’t hit a wide. You can hit a No Ball though’. ‘Hmmm… Yes, but as the Batsman you can choose whether you leave it or try and hit it and thus, in a literal and existentialist sense at least, you can hit a wide’. ‘But then it’s not a wide… You can’t be caught off a wide so how can you hit a Wide!?!’

Indeed yes, ultimately of course you can’t hit a Wide ball, but, paradoxically you can hit a wide ball. Is capitalism is the key? Incidentally that’s capitalism and not Capitalism.

Library footage of a signalled wide.

So I guess it depends on how you define a Wide/wide. Here’s the official line (paraphrased a little);

Law 25 (Wide ball) – Judging a Wide

‘The ball will be considered as passing wide of the striker unless it is sufficiently within his reach for him to be able to hit it with his bat by means of a normal cricket stroke’.

When it comes to applying this definition to The Mad however we do run into a veritable cavalcade of difficulties – the phrase ‘normal cricket stroke’ in particular brings about a plethora of issues. Also surely ‘sufficiently within his reach’ intimates that Tall Bob should never face a ‘Wide ball’?* It could be argued that ‘striker’ raises doubt for some too.

Sadly I think we are no closer to arriving at a satisfactory conclusion between the argument for the ‘metaphorical’ and the literal meaning of a Wide ball. I guess it depends on whether you call a spade a spade…. I wonder when a spade isn’t a spade?

One thing I can at least tell you is when a wide shouldn’t be a wide – and that’s when it wins you the game that stops your 13 game losing streak.

Yours, with love.

‘Auntie Climax’

P.S – I don’t know why I’ve written to you and then answered my own question. Sorry for wasting your time.

* He could hit a wide ball though