“I Remember When All This was Fields (and
Pubs)”
Match: 12
/ 270
Lost
by 1 Run
|
Team |
Total |
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Saxlingham Gents |
141 - 5 |
|
I. Howarth 2 - 2 |
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|
FFTMCC |
140 - 9 |
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S. Dobner 35, M. Bullock
28* |
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Second day of tour and I
feel about 80 years old. Stare in the mirror and there’s a strange old man
staring back. Never did find out who he was, but that’s what happens when
you’re sharing 12 to a bathroom at the Trevross. Fortunately a nice (short)
young man has arranged a lovely coach trip to the countryside to meet some
more old fellas for a game of cricket. First however a stroll by the seaside
and a bit of breakfast. Meet some other old men who range in height from six
foot four to four foot six. Sit by the sea and sip my tea and talk about the
good old days when I scored some runs.
Mike (right) reminisces about the 1980’s. About 11:30 the coach
turns up and my, haven’t they done us proud! There’s plenty of room for
everyone and our kit. We sit on the coach sucking Worthers
Originals and talking bollocks all the way to Saxlington. The village of
Saxlington was once noted for its four pubs. Now however they have all been
victims of licencing laws, the smoking ban and home drinking. Fortunately we
have a large luxurious bus with which to terrorise the lanes of West Norfolk
and so the search for a pub begins.
Packed out. The MAD coach. One closed pub, 40
minutes, 12 miles and one increasingly irate bus driver later and we
eventually find somewhere serving alcohol on a Friday afternoon. After
lightly burning in the sun, it dawned on the team that now, minus the bus, we
need to make it 12 miles back to the ground to commence a game of cricket.
Fortunately Dobner’s taxi service sprang in to action and with creaking shock
absorbers he quickly transported everyone back to the ground. At about this time Dave
Shorten arrived on his mum’s bike, having cycled 30 miles from Great Yarmouth
via some old friends he hadn’t seen in about 25 years but who were
nevertheless delighted to have a sweating stranger arrived unannounced on
their doorstep.
Giant Duck keeping the driver company. So, time for some
cricket. We knew quite a bit about Saxlington. Their website shows that
they’re our kind of team. No ringers, sledgers or hoggers
[or indeed any batsmen or bowlers if the site is to be believed]. Skipper for
the evening I Howarth negotiated 25 overs with us in the field first. He
appeared to be working on the principle that Saxlington should score (n-1) runs, with n being the most runs the FFTMCC could reasonably be expected to
score. Only time would tell if Howarth’s algebra was correct. Now for a sentence you
will seldom hear. The bowling was opened by P Mellor (3-0-23-1) and M Bullock
(3-0-11-0) who bowled with pace and aggression, subjecting the batsmen to a
series of short pitched lifting deliveries. Oh who are we kidding, some
well-aimed pie set the tone for the evening. For the Gents, the retired P
Barrow retired on 25 as did the retired R Pearson.
Some high quality zoom photography of
proceedings. The Gents philosophy is
that every member of the team should have a bowl and
this was something The MAD were very happy to repeat. The highlights of this
10 man bowling attack was Wee Ian Howarth taking two wickets in his one over
including a sharp stumping by D Emerson, taking an unusual turn behind the
stumps and M Reeves with a diving catch at mid-wicket. Credit to D Shorten
who trashed his season’s figures with three overs of his newly invented off
spin. With 20 overs gone and
the light already fading the skipper announced we would now be playing 30
overs. To general consternation and bleatings about
the bar being open, this was quickly revised back to 25. The Gents finally
posted a score of 141, meaning that if Howarth’s algebraic calculations were
correct, n would equal 142.
Beauty from right to left (obviously)…. A batting line-up can be
a thing of beauty in which each player is assigned a specific role, whether
it be to see off the openers, or shepherd the tail. Some positions require a
degree of flexibility meaning players have to adapt to the quality of the
pitch and the state of the game. There are a myriad of other imponderables,
such as mixing attacking and defensive players and left and right handed
combinations. But bollocks to all that, let’s line up everyone according to
height and then toss a coin to see if shorties or tallies open.
How many brooms can you see shoved up arses? As tall Bob (3) strode
to the crease accompanied by not so tall, but still taller than the rest of
the team Emerson (24), his mind must have turned to how rarely his gets to
shine with the bat. Here was his opportunity, a gentile opening bowling
partnership and plenty of time to express himself. Indeed he did express
himself, on his way back to the pavilion after three balls. Emerson fared
better with a combination of lofty blows and quick running. P Mellor (7 off 7 balls)
and J Hotson (9 and surprisingly tall) kept things ticking over until MOTM S
Dobner (35) arrived. When he was joined by M Westmoreland (3) surely here was
a partnership that would make short work of the 90 odd runs remaining.
Accounts of what actually happened vary depending on which of the partnership
one talks to, however suffice to say Martin was run out running to the
non-danger end. Next up was tour revelation M Bullock (28 n.o.)
Matt is currently on that dangerous threshold where one thinks one can actually bat.
That way disappointment and recrimination lies, but Matt is sensible enough
to realise that it’s more alcohol than talent that
keeps the runs flowing and is therefore not getting ahead of himself. However
his cultured innings including 9 scoring shots in a row was a welcome sight.
D Shorten (8) was only batting at number 8 on account of his thick souled
work boots.
M. Bullock (right) trudges off thinking he can
now bat. With Dobner and Bullock
retiring on 25 it was up to the Marlborough partnership of Edwards (13) and
Reeves (1) to bring The MAD home. After the departure of Edwards, it was up
to Reeves and Howarth (6 n.o) to bring The MAD
home. So twelve off twelve balls, a formality for two such noted finishers as
Mike “Mr Cricket” Reeves and Ian “Mr Small” Howarth. Careful now, pushing
ones and twos should get us there, certainly no ridiculous swipes across the
line… Oh why do I bother….
S. Dobner (right) awaits another bat after retiring
earlier in the innings. Finally with the light
almost gone it came down to Howarth and Dobner needing three off the last
ball for victory. With the Gents spread around the boundary it was going to
require some explosive running. As they returned for the second, this time it
was Dobner running to the non-danger end and he was duly run out. The
cackling of Westmoreland could be heard through the gloom. So The MAD had
achieved (n-2) runs. That’s
cricket, a game of fine lines and algebra. So after a close game
where 11 old men lost narrowly to 11 even older men, everyone enjoyed a fish
supper and reminisced about days when it didn’t hurt so much. ‘Reevsie’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Saxlingham
Gents CC Played at Saxlingham, 10 August 2012 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to bat Saxlingham Gents CC won by 1 run Far from the MCC debuts: none |
12 / 270 25 over match |
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Team |
Saxlingham Gents |
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# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
P. Barrow * |
retired |
25 |
|
|
|
- |
|
2 |
T. Sheppard + |
lbw b Mellor |
8 |
|
|
|
1-29 |
|
3 |
R. Pearson |
retired |
25 |
|
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|
- |
|
4 |
O. Kilbourn |
b Reeves |
19 |
|
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|
2-89 |
|
5 |
G. Cawley |
st Emerson b Howarth |
14 |
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6 |
S. Brownlow |
run out (Reeves/Howarth) |
20 |
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|
7 |
R. Mantin |
not out |
16 |
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|
- |
|
8 |
A. Woodward |
c Reeves b Howarth |
0 |
|
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|
9 |
K. Stickney |
not out |
2 |
|
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|
- |
|
10 |
E. Spencer |
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|
11 |
H. Royse |
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Extras |
(NB5, W5, B2) |
12 |
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TOTAL |
(for 5 wickets, 25 overs) |
141 |
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# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Mellor |
3 |
0 |
23 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Bullock |
3 |
0 |
11 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Hotson |
1 |
0 |
6 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Westmoreland |
3 |
0 |
13 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Edwards |
3 |
0 |
15 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Reeves |
2 |
0 |
8 |
1 |
|
|
7 |
Roberts |
3 |
0 |
13 |
0 |
|
|
8 |
Dobner |
3 |
0 |
12 |
0 |
|
|
9 |
Shorten |
3 |
0 |
33 |
0 |
|
|
10 |
Howarth |
1 |
0 |
2 |
2 |
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Team |
Far from
the MCC |
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|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
C. D. Roberts |
b Spencer |
1 |
(3) |
- |
- |
1-2 |
|
2 |
D. Emerson + |
st Sheppard b Stickney |
24 |
(23) |
2 |
- |
3-36 |
|
3 |
P. A. S. Mellor |
st Sheppard b Spencer |
7 |
(7) |
1 |
- |
2-16 |
|
4 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
b Stickney |
9 |
(24) |
- |
- |
4-53 |
|
5 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
run out (Barrow) |
35 |
(28) |
2 |
- |
9-140 |
|
6 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
run out (Sheppard) |
3 |
(2) |
- |
- |
5-61 |
|
7 |
M. Bullock |
retired |
28 |
(28) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
8 |
D. Shorten |
lbw b Cawley |
8 |
(8) |
2 |
- |
6-92 |
|
9 |
D. M. Edwards |
b Woodward |
13 |
(18) |
1 |
- |
7-126 |
|
10 |
M. K. Reeves |
b Brownlow |
1 |
(3) |
- |
- |
8-130 |
|
11 |
I. Howarth * |
not out |
6 |
(7) |
- |
- |
- |
|
|
Extras |
(NB1, W1, LB3) |
5 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 9 wickets, 25 overs) |
140 |
|
|
|
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|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Spencer |
3 |
0 |
17 |
2 |
|
|
2 |
Royse |
3 |
0 |
12 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Stickney |
3 |
0 |
17 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Mantin |
3 |
0 |
18 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Pearson |
2 |
0 |
11 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Kilbourn |
3 |
1 |
16 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Cawley |
1 |
0 |
7 |
1 |
|
|
8 |
Woodward |
3 |
0 |
21 |
1 |
|
|
9 |
Brownlow |
3 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
|
|
10 |
Barrow |
1 |
0 |
7 |
0 |
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Note: S. Dobner retired at
81-5 and returned at 130-8 |
||||||
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MOTM: S. L. P. Dobner Champagne Moment: M. K. Reeves’ diving
catch in the covers Buffet
Award: D. Shorten’s earthly scones
& homemade jam |
Opposition:
V065 / 02 Ground: G058 / 01 Captain: C007 / 45 |