“Postcard
Perfect for End of Tour Flogging”
Match: 12
/ 271
Lost
by 9 Wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
178 |
|
D. Emerson 48, S. Dobner
31 |
|
|
|
|
|
Marlingford CC |
181 - 1 |
|
J. Whiting 1 - 28 |
|
|
Few
grounds if ever can have made such a wonderful impression on a visiting MAD
team than those who descended on the pretty Norfolk village of Marlingford.
Ringed by oak trees with a pavilion decked out in Olympic bunting fluttering
under warm blue skies, this privately owned cricket ground wooed it’s new
arrivals with its deceptively large size and genial hosts. According to their
Chairman / Groundsman / Dogsbody / slow right-arm trundler, Kenny Shorten –
it was bequeathed to them by some rich Duke of Somewhere, who liked both
cricket and the parish itself. A fine man indeed, and if ever he wants to
visit Oxford and have a word with his respective counterparts in The Shires –
I’m sure the Far from the MCC would be eternally grateful and bestow upon him
the coveted position of Club Patron (or at least take him out on the piss for
the evening – no charge).
Sitting out the front of the pretty Marlingford
pavilion. Perhaps
hampered mentally by a whole day on the sauce, Paddy Mellor allowed himself
to be ushered into the Captain’s Wares for Sunday and as a direct result of
his 28th pint of Guinness, decided fate would script both his batting and
bowling orders by sticking everyone’s name in a hat. “Bollocks” said Bob,
“batting number eleven and bowling last. I prefer a Skipper who respects
height.” Winning
the toss and doing something right, Paddy watched S. Dobner (31) and
D. Emerson (48) notch an 84 run partnership in just the first 13 overs, helping
themselves to some more than generous bowling as they found the boundary with
alarming regularity. A MAD innings is never a proper MAD innings
unless it constitutes at least one decent collapse, and thus it was after
local gun for hire, John Nash (1), became S. Clifford’s (4-1-15-3) third
wicket in as many overs. The MAD Bandwagon now on 85-3.
Paddy (right) does something right
(winning the toss). A
tentative recovery was then undermined for the second time following Westmoreland’s
(15) casual top edge, and Howarth’s (15) quite dreadful knock being finally put
out its misery by one that stayed low. The fact Ian used up a high percentage
of Team Luck by utilising the DRS system (twice), didn’t walk when clearly
LBW and was dropped off his first delivery hardly helped The MAD cause…. Mr.
Shorten (7) has recently agreed on psychiatric counselling to help him remedy
his batting yips. It can’t come soon enough and with M. Bullock subsiding for
3 and Skipper Mellor out first ball, things looked particularly fragile at
143-8 (special mention to D. Richmond who recorded figures of 3-2-5-3).
Junior gun for hire, Jamie Whiting (19) at least demonstrated which end of
the bat to hold, but when Hotson’s (2) castle-like defences were breached, it
left The MAD all out 178 and C. Roberts stranded as ever on 12 not out.
S. Dobner and D. Emerson shared an 84 run opening
partnership. A
notable feature of the tea interval (and drink’s breaks) was the home side’s
serving up of half pints of shandy. It put a smile on everybody’s face and
you wonder why it hasn’t caught on. So, what was a par score on this pretty
little ground then? “About 220” was the agreed reply. “Fuck”.
An awesome Captain’s innings is celebrated by
Giant Duck. For
the next 21 overs of the match, Mr Mellor would rotate his bowlers as per the
crumpled piece of beer stained paper in his pocket. You couldn’t fault his
motivation or encouragement as his personnel consistently disappeared amongst
the foliage, hedgerows and trees whilst searching for the ball. “C’mon, lads
– one brings ten and all that,” he would exclaim. Betfair suspended odds on
the outcome of the match before young Whiting (5-0-28-1) made the
breakthrough by castling a still-pissed (from the night before) J. Wyndham
for 46.
A magic start for The MAD in defence of their
total. At
129-1 The MAD sensed a shift in the game’s momentum. Before the dismissal it
was a roundly manageable flogging, but now, as the sun bore down, it was a
wholly unmanageable mangling. That the imperious S. Clifford (96*) should
miss out on his ton was largely due to partner S. Roofe’s
(24*) poor mathematics, his enjoyment of Westmoreland’s bountiful patisserie
had him forget the required number of runs left to chase. At
the 27.2 over mark, the tonking would cease and Marlingford players formed a
guard of honour in respect of what was a quite outstanding MAD buffet. There
were no FFTMCC bowling figures to report, nor wickets or catches to mention,
save for the impressive Mr. Whiting. We wish the local youngster well. Just a
shame he had to play for us.
Well bowled The MAD…. Shadows
stretched across the ground as players kicked back and let Kenny Shorten
clear up after them – some even offered to collect a few fold-away chairs or
help him drink his beer. It
was almost a shame to leave in the end, what a pity we agreed a final evening
in Great Yarmouth. The seaside resort boasted none of the irrepressibly
relaxed and candid spirit of this leafy green village of Marlingford. You
couldn’t even get your head kicked in if you tried…. We
wish you well, Kenny – many thanks for the memories and to those that might
yet be realised one day.
‘D. R. S.
Howarth’
|
*
Statto
Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Marlingford
CC Played at Marlingford, 12 August 2012 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to bat Marlingford CC won by 9 wickets Far from the MCC debuts:
John
Nash (125) and Jamie Whiting (126) |
12 / 271 40 over match |
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Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
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|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
c and b Clifford |
31 |
(45) |
3 |
- |
2-84 |
|
2 |
D. Emerson + |
c Roofe b Clifford |
48 |
(38) |
10 |
- |
1-84 |
|
3 |
J. Nash |
c and b Clifford |
1 |
(7) |
- |
- |
3-85 |
|
4 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
c C.
Wyndham b Shorten |
15 |
(24) |
2 |
- |
4-112 |
|
5 |
I. Howarth |
b Richmond |
15 |
(25) |
1 |
- |
5-124 |
|
6 |
D. Shorten |
st Clifford b Richmond |
7 |
(19) |
1 |
- |
6-130 |
|
7 |
M. Bullock |
c Clifford b Roofe |
3 |
(11) |
- |
- |
8-143 |
|
8 |
P. A. S. Mellor * |
c Clifford b Richmond |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
7-130 |
|
9 |
J. Whiting |
c Cole b Roberts |
19 |
(15) |
4 |
- |
9-158 |
|
10 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
b J. Wyndham |
2 |
(31) |
- |
- |
10-178 |
|
11 |
C. D. Roberts |
not out |
12 |
(14) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
|
Extras |
(NB1, W14, LB4, B6) |
25 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 38.2 overs) |
178 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
C. Wyndham |
4 |
0 |
29 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Coote |
5 |
0 |
27 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
J. Wyndham |
5.2 |
1 |
17 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Clifford |
4 |
1 |
15 |
3 |
|
|
5 |
Cole |
4 |
0 |
16 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Shorten |
4 |
0 |
20 |
1 |
|
|
7 |
Richmond |
3 |
2 |
5 |
3 |
|
|
8 |
Roofe |
3 |
0 |
10 |
1 |
|
|
9 |
Roberts |
3 |
0 |
19 |
1 |
|
|
10 |
Jones |
3 |
0 |
8 |
0 |
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Team |
Marlingford CC |
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|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. Wyndham |
b Whiting |
46 |
|
8 |
- |
1-133 |
|
2 |
S. Clifford + |
not out |
96 |
|
18 |
- |
- |
|
3 |
S. Roofe |
not out |
24 |
|
4 |
1 |
- |
|
4 |
D. Roberts |
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5 |
R. Cole |
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6 |
D. Richmond |
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7 |
B. Coote |
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|
8 |
B. Sutton + |
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9 |
F. Jones |
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10 |
C. Wyndham |
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|
11 |
K. Shorten * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB4, W5, LB2, B4) |
15 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 1 wicket, 27.2 overs) |
181 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Howarth |
4 |
0 |
26 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Whiting |
5 |
0 |
28 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Shorten |
2 |
1 |
6 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Bullock |
2 |
0 |
8 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Dobner |
2 |
0 |
14 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Nash |
2 |
0 |
8 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Mellor |
2 |
0 |
23 |
0 |
|
|
8 |
Westmoreland |
3.2 |
0 |
24 |
0 |
|
|
9 |
Roberts |
4 |
0 |
27 |
0 |
|
|
10 |
Hotson |
1 |
0 |
7 |
0 |
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Note: B. Sutton kept wicket
for overs 1-20, S. Clifford thereafter |
||||||
|
MOTM: J. Whiting Champagne Moment: J. Whiting’s slower
ball wicket Buffet
Award: P. A. S. Mellor’s double
cheese burgers (with chilli and bacon relish) |
Opposition:
V071 / 01 Ground: G059 / 01 Captain: C023 / 01 |