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“Listless Loss in Fourth Place Farce”

 

 

Match:  12 / 275

Lost by 7 Wkts

 

 

Team

 

Total

FFTMCC

78 - 6

R. Turner  24,  S. Dobner  18*

 

Oxenford President XI

79 - 3

C. Roberts  2 - 12

 

 

 

 

This was one of those matches where nobody really gave a fuck – “after the Lord Mayor’s Show” and all that. The FFTMCC were already feeling aggrieved at having lost a tied match despite having lost fewer wickets than their opponents, but to then be relegated into the shadows of the lower Lincoln College pitch with its overly used, dusty shop-worn track hardly inspired a mood of optimism in the camp. Did we really need this third / fourth place play off? Did anyone care? Can’t we just get on the piss and watch the Final? Even Mr. Terry’s President XI looked short on enthusiastic numbers… but no matter, there would be plenty of East Oxford CC stragglers and unpicked talents to bolster their squad.

 

 

2012aug26b1

 

Motivated….

 

 

The MAD’s second match of the day saw the makeup of the team adjusted with the work-boot sporting T. Smith replacing erstwhile tree surgeon, Dan Edwards – a woodworker replacing a woodchopper (if you will). Russell “Mystic Meg” Turner’s insightful learning’s on how to win the toss proved as unsightful as ever, with Martin duly losing his second toss of the day and a chance bestowed upon him to bat on the dog turd* of a pitch.

 

Wanting everyone to have a bite of the batting cherry, Moo shuffled up his batting order and watched as R. Turner masterminded The MAD’s initial run-fest as they sprinted to 8 for 2 off the first 8 overs. It was scintillating stuff. Contributions at the other end of a potholed Kabul airstrip were ducks for M. Reeves, M. Bullock and the maligned “Bob” Roberts. Notwithstanding the snail’s pace of the innings, the Boycottesque, G. Carter, would then cause consternation by travelling at a run a ball as he tonked a superlative 11.... Are you taking the piss, Geoff?

 

 

 

An aggressive batsman deputises for G. Carter.

 

 

With the demise of Smith (4) and the doughty Turner (24), it was largely left to the Skipper and his golf buddy, S. Dobner (18*), to thrash The MAD to a decent total. Unfortunately this did not transpire. Comedy was almost provided however, as Westmoreland’s (7*) being dropped on nought (twice) cruelly denied him the chance to record a sequence of scores on one day like none other ever recorded in the Annals of Shitty Cricket (0, 0* and 0; albeit the undefeated 0* being in the non-registered Super Over of the previous match). 78-6 was the final reckoning and most people reckoned that was crap (much like the pitch* – only mentioned in case this summary has omitted this minor quibble).

 

 

2012Aug26b3

 

Steve takes it easy before buggering off home early.

 

 

Having had a bat, Steve then fucked off back to Stevenage to leave his mates to chase some leather. This they did, but thankfully for only 13.5 overs. During this dispirited 45 minutes or so of marginalised, underwhelming cricket, D. Emerson (4-1-10-1) bowled with fire in his belly – or was that Buckfast? C. Roberts (3-0-12-2) once again prospered, but he felt pretty lonely. Reeves (3-0-15-0), Smith (2-0-6-0) and Bullock (1.5-0-18-0) all toiled manfully whilst trying to display a vague level of interest.

 

In the end, The MAD justified the Bookies faith in them by securing a deserved Fourth Place finish in the Tournament. The Oxenford President elect, Mr. Terry (33*), seeing his troops home as he slapped the final donkey drop of the day from Mr. Bullock somewhere where nobody cared. But should the FFTMCC have even been involved in this pointless game? Surely there was argument for them securing the Silver Medal against the eventual Champions – East Oxford CC instead? Of course, we will never know; although judging by their scores of 180+ in both games they played, The MAD probably saved themselves from “The Bum Raping of The Century” on what would have been the biggest stage of all. A silver lining after all….

 

 

 

Ideal light for the remaining overs of the Final….

 

 

Super Over? Not really. Super day? Certainly an enjoyable day, with many happy memories and the chance to humiliate ourselves further next year…. “Next year?” I hear you ask. Shock! Horror! Amazement! Yep, the FFTMCC have bucked a recent trend with the affable President, Mr. Terry, actually inviting us back to compete in 2013. Maybe people genuinely felt / feel sorry for us?

 

I know I do….

 

 

‘TFC’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

Statto Scorecards

 

 

 

Far from the MCC versus Oxenford President’s XI

Played at Lincoln College, 26 August 2012

 

Oxenford President’s XI won the toss and elected to field

Oxenford President’s XI won by 7 wickets

 

Far from the MCC debuts:  none

 

 

12 / 275

 

 

 

 

 

20 / 20

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team

Far from the MCC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

R. P. Turner

c Bastable b Mohsin

24

(43)

2

-

6-55

2

M. K. Reeves

b M. A. Khan

0

(9)

-

-

1-4

3

M. Bullock

c Taylor b Wharton

0

(11)

-

-

2-6

4

C. D. Roberts

b Letterby

0

(3)

-

-

3-11

5

G. Carter +

b S. Khan

11

(11)

2

-

4-33

6

T. P. W. Smith

b Letterby

4

(7)

1

-

5-38

7

S. L. P. Dobner

not out

18

(20)

1

-

-

8

M. T. Westmoreland *

not out

7

(15)

-

-

-

9

J. W. Pearson

 

 

 

 

 

 

10

D. Emerson

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

I. Howarth

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

(W11, LB1, B2)

14

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 6 wickets, 20 overs)

78

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

Wharton

4

2

5

1

 

2

Abdul

4

2

3

1

 

3

Letterby

3

0

26

2

 

4

Khan

3

2

4

1

 

5

Mohsin

3

0

15

1

 

6

Taylor

3

0

20

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team

Oxenford President’s XI

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

L. Bastable

c Turner b Roberts

21

 

3

-

 

2

Ragu

b Emerson

0

 

-

-

 

3

S. Terry *

not out

33

 

5

-

-

4

T. Myatt

b Roberts

2

 

-

-

 

5

M. A. Khan

not out

4

 

1

-

-

6

R. Taylor

 

 

 

 

 

 

7

Mohsin

 

 

 

 

 

 

8

S. Letterby

 

 

 

 

 

 

9

Abdul

 

 

 

 

 

 

10

D. Gwyn

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

S. Wharton

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

(LB3, B16)

19

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 3 wickets, 13.5 overs)

79

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

Emerson

4

1

10

1

 

2

Reeves

3

0

15

0

 

3

Smith

2

0

6

0

 

4

Roberts

3

0

12

2

 

5

Bullock

1.5

0

18

0

 

 

 

 

 

MOTM:  C. D. Roberts

Champagne Moment:  R. P. Turner’s sprawling catch in the deep

Buffet Award:  M. Bullock’s cheese and cucumber flan (with salad cream)

 

 

Opposition:  V072 / 01

Ground:  G060 / 01

Captain:  C011 / 71