“48 Hour Piss Up
Forces Regime Change”
Match: 12
/ 264
Lost
by 29 Runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Isis CC |
116 - 3 |
|
M. Reeves 1 - 12 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
87 |
|
R. Turner 28 |
|
|
Following
incumbent T20 Skipper Mr. Hotson finally succumbing to sleep after a 48 hour
bender whilst taking in the Olympic Torch Parade on the Cowley Road; a door
to the future was opened with Mr. Timms striding forth. Having been
fast-tracked through the Club’s Youth Development Scheme – passes with distinction
in categories including beer, fags, cynicism and wit had already marked Gary
out as a potential leader of the pack. His understanding of the virtues of
friendly cricket and his keen awareness of the fragile sensibilities of his
team mates could only bolster his credentials. So what would the future
bring?
If you can see some talent in the ranks, I’d say
well done Gary. Rain
before, during and after the match? Tick. A decision to have his team field
in the worst of the conditions whilst they could only dream of log fires in
the pub? Tick. A fitful burst of the yips when bowling his first over? Tick.
A duck of the finest quality fashioned when bringing the team home? Tick. The
only blemish on an otherwise noteworthy evening of untold misery was a
successful toss of the coin. Don’t worry, Gary – talking from experience,
this match can only ready you for the future disappointments and desultory
experiences that come as standard when filling out the Emperor’s Robes
bequeathed by The Mad. Losing the toss? We’ll have a chat about that after
the next game – I’ll see you right on getting that wrong, mate….
Team MAD scampering from the elements. With
the groundsman’s blessing to fuck up the pitch, a revised 15 over slogathon
allowed 22 adults to get their clothing completely pissed through with a fair
helping of mud and duck shit thrown in for good measure. W. Green (32)
repeated his quick hitting of the previous month as D. Shorten (3-0-16-0) and
T. Smith (3-0-31-1) managed to keep their feet whilst getting spanked into
the Thames. The latter having the final laugh when bowling Green with the
score on 49. D.
Emerson (3-0-24-1) joined the clutch of MAD bowlers vying for the much-vaunted
Buffet Award as his first ball sailed out the park, but he brought it back
nicely having R. Venkat (26) pouched by his Skipper at mid
off (Gary’s first for The MAD one should add).
The best seats in the house – Wyatt, Howarth
(right) and Duck under cover. The
only other Isis CC wicket to fall in an innings totalling 116-3 was claimed
by the luckless M. Reeves (2-0-12-1) as R. Turner clung onto a Champagne
skyer in the covers. C. Roberts (2-0-8-0) and G. Timms (2-0-20-0) completed
the formalities with the Skipper unlucky not to wrestle Smith’s grip off the
aforementioned Buffet Award. J. Ponsford (25*) and P. Jacobs (2*) protected
their averages if not the dryness of their sweaters. Less
than hour to complete an innings, huh? Not bad. None of these continual
bowling changes or endless, trivial conversations involving the elder
statesmen of the team carping on about field changes. Nope – none of it. This
is Timms’ regime and the FFTMCC are being dragged unceremoniously into a
modern era free of Northern blight….
A duck becomes excited by MAD batting at
adjoining Brasenose…. Continuing
this theme of quick-fire cricket, N. Hebbes (0) and M. Westmoreland (6)
wasted little time in returning to the pavilion to drown a pint – or was it
simply to avoid a call to the coastguards out in the middle? J. Pearson (14)
and R. Turner (28) were a little less express with their contributions, but
played handily to steady the reply before James was undone by one of K. Ponsford’s pies with the score on 42. A special mention
should be made of Ponsford Senior – whose repertoire of kitchen bakery could
only of brought a sagely nod of the head from the late and great Ade Fisher.
KP’s ageing guile would eventually reap him the extraordinary figures of
2.3-0-3-4 – with his second victim, Mr. Rundle (0), happy to acknowledge with
a throw of the bat “I told you so – out to some old cunt.” Mr. Shorten would
also be quoted, stating “the only thing I am positive about is the certainty
of fucking defeat.” Other
telling contributors to The MAD reply were nowhere to be found, but Emerson
(14) hacked a few whilst running the worryingly downbeat D. Shorten out for a
one ball stay of 1. Reeves (13) tried manfully to get himself caught off the
first and second balls he faced, but was eventually forced to settle for
being ran out from a direct throw from Mr. Venkat on the boundary (Mike
restoring confidence in the team that he is still the unluckiest fucker in
the team – sorry Lego).
Gary leads his ramshackle outfit off the field. The
MAD innings of 87 finally fizzled out in the final over with C. Roberts (0*),
T. Smith (1) and G. Timms (0) all notching binary. Actually, Tall So,
there you go. Some cricket. Some more rain. A defeat. And little fucking
else. ‘The BBC’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Isis CC Played at Queens College, 10 July
2012 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to field Isis CC won by 29 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
12 / 264 20 / 20 (reduced to 15) |
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|
Team |
Isis CC |
|
|
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|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
R. Venkat |
c Timms b Emerson |
26 |
(28) |
3 |
1 |
2-70 |
|
2 |
W. Green |
b Smith |
32 |
(13) |
2 |
2 |
1-49 |
|
3 |
J. Ponsford |
not out |
25 |
(28) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
4 |
A. Mohammed |
c Turner b Reeves |
18 |
(19) |
2 |
- |
3-107 |
|
5 |
P. Jacobs + |
not out |
2 |
(2) |
- |
- |
- |
|
6 |
K. H. Whiter * |
|
|
|
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|
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|
7 |
N. Hussain |
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|
8 |
N. H. R. Wyatt |
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9 |
J. Walter |
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10 |
N. Hardy |
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|
11 |
K. Ponsford |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB1, W7, LB1, B4) |
13 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 3 wickets, 15 overs) |
116 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Shorten |
3 |
0 |
16 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Smith |
3 |
0 |
31 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Emerson |
3 |
0 |
24 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Roberts |
2 |
0 |
8 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Reeves |
2 |
0 |
12 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Timms |
2 |
0 |
20 |
0 |
|
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|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
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|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
N. J. Hebbes |
c Walter b Whiter |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
1-0 |
|
2 |
M. T. Westmoreland + |
b Wyatt |
6 |
(4) |
1 |
- |
2-8 |
|
3 |
J. W. Pearson |
b K. Ponsford |
14 |
(19) |
- |
- |
3-42 |
|
4 |
R. P. Turner |
c Whiter b Hussain |
28 |
(30) |
2 |
- |
5-52 |
|
5 |
M. S. Rundle |
c and b K. Ponsford |
0 |
(5) |
- |
- |
4-50 |
|
6 |
D. Emerson |
st Jacobs b Walter |
14 |
(13) |
1 |
- |
8-86 |
|
7 |
D. Shorten |
run out |
1 |
(1) |
- |
- |
6-56 |
|
8 |
M. K. Reeves |
run out |
13 |
(11) |
1 |
- |
7-82 |
|
9 |
C. D. Roberts |
not out |
0 |
(0) |
- |
- |
- |
|
10 |
T. P. W. Smith |
b K. Ponsford |
1 |
(2) |
- |
- |
9-87 |
|
11 |
G. J. Timms * |
c Venkat b K. Ponsford |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
10-87 |
|
|
Extras |
(NB5, W4, B1) |
10 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 14.3 overs) |
87 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Whiter |
3 |
0 |
13 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Wyatt |
3 |
0 |
20 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Hardy |
2 |
0 |
15 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
K.
Ponsford |
2.3 |
0 |
3 |
4 |
|
|
5 |
Hussain |
2 |
0 |
20 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Walter |
2 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
|
|
MOTM: R. P. Turner Champagne Moment: R. P. Turners’ steep
catch Buffet
Award: T. P. W. Smith’s oatmeal
biscuits (with fruity bits) |
Opposition:
V009 / 09 Ground: G008 / 04 Captain: C022 / 01 |
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