“MAD Stretch the Fabric of Space and Time”
Match: 12
/ 265
Won
by 137 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
209 |
|
M. Westmoreland
75, S. Dobner 35 |
|
|
|
|
|
Cholsey |
72 |
|
G. Timms 3 - 7, C. Roberts
3 - 16 |
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|
It was the year 2212 and
as usual Professor Farfrom was working in his
laboratory at Jesus College in the University of Oxford. It was almost
exactly 200 years since the discovery of the Higgs Boson, the God Particle,
and Professor Farfrom hoped that he was on the
verge of another momentous discovery. His studies of anti-matter had
indicated the existence of a parallel universe which the professor had called
Oxdorf. He had built a portal, about the size of a
mini bus, which he hoped would bridge the divide between Oxdorf
and his native Oxford.
Oxdorf
– a strange and beautifully dry twin of Oxford. At the same time Captain
West, the great greatgreatgreat grandson of Captain
‘Moo’ Westmoreland was roaming the galaxy. He and his trusty band of
followers, who all happened to be descendants of the early 21st century
FFTMCC team, were in search of the elusive ‘cricket’ of which their
forefathers had often told tales. The search had continued through the
generations and the 201 years of continuous rain which had befallen Oxford.
The captain’s eyes were becoming heavy after hours of searching through the
drizzle for something resembling an oval of greenery. Suddenly out of the
gloom two bright lights came hurtling towards him. “My, gosh” he thought,
“that’s JMO returning from Kathmandu in his travellers’ bus and he’s heading
straight for us!” The captain pulled hard on the steering column and just
managed to avoid the oncoming bus, but now out of control he ploughed
straight through the wall of the University just as Professor Farfrom pressed the start button on the Oxdorf portal. There was a flash of lightning, a crackle,
the smell of burning and the bus was gone.
JMO’s bus also crashes in some strange place
resembling China. Several seconds later
the entire team awoke in strange surroundings, minus the bus. Their faces
felt a warm glow to which they were unfamiliar. They were momentarily blinded
by a strange golden disc in the sky, which was actually quite pleasant once
they became accustomed to it. The team wandered out onto a lush green field
to inspect their new surroundings.
Oxdorf
– a place where you can sit out on dry, warm grass?!?! A few seconds later
there was another flash and the Dobner spacecraft bust through the portal.
Steve had been travelled significantly faster than the minibus and was
therefore unable to stop. The team waved frantically as he hurtled across the
outfield. Steve slammed on the brakes and skidded to a halt in front of the
pavilion just in time to deposit his cargo of family and tea. Another whoosh
and he was gone, but not before being spotted by the residents of Oxdorf. As if by magic, an
opposition appeared. The good fellows of Cholsey were welcoming and engaged
the travellers in the practice known as cricket. In this strange land it was
considered generous and appropriate to win the toss and choose to field in
the sweltering heat and therefore The MAD were batting. Unfamiliar with the
local custom, The MAD umpires shed their topper most clothes as they
adjudicated the game.
Freak sunshine allowed The MAD umpires to undress
for the job. First to bat was Captain
West (75) accompanied by M Russell (15). Russell looked the business but was
undone by a combination of one that kept low and poor shot selection. Next to
the crease was M Reeves (17). He batted conservatively as the captain pushed
on and their partnership eventually exceeded 50. Reeves was experiencing a
new emotion, something he had not felt before. It was ‘enjoyment’ yes, that’s
the word. Then something even stranger occurred. Reeves had heard of a
mid-innings interval, called ‘drinks’. His family told stories of how his
ancestors used to carry the drinks after another batting failure, but now
drinks were arriving and he was the recipient. Oh, this is a strange but
wondrous land thought Reeves. Soon after he was undone by a diving catch down
the leg side by the keeper. S Dobner (35) staggered
from the wreckage of his craft and picked up his bat. The force was strong
with this one and he soon amassed a superb 35 runs in just 27 deliveries. At
the other end Captain West was performing a rite of passage known as “50”.
This ancient custom, even older than the 201 years of rain involves raising
ones bat to the assembled crowd. The team had no idea of the purpose of this
ritual, having never seen it in the flesh before, but cheered most enthusiastically
in any case. Oh what a joyous place this is.
Captain West performs an “alien” custom at
reaching 50. Next to the crease was D
Emerson (16 off just 7 balls.) He appeared to be attempting to change the
laws of physics and one of his shots actually travelling back in time at bit
before sailing over the boundary. Back in Oxford, Professor Farfrom struggled to maintain the balance between Oxford
and Oxdorf. For a moment the twin universes
threatened to collide. In Oxdorf, the team noticed
the coming together of these two realities as Oxdorf
began to more closely resemble Oxford. This manifested itself as a mini
collapse as M Bullock (5), T Smith (11), M Rundle (9), G Timms (1) and C
Roberts (1) all fell cheaply. Only J Hotson (1 n.o.)
remained at the end of the 40 overs. Still, a total of 209 was deemed to be
impressive for The MAD in this or any other universe. The two worlds almost
came together during the ancient custom known as tea. This luscious interlude
is the same on both sides of the portal. Fortunately Professor Farfrom managed to alter the temporal shift to remove
home baked cake from Oxdorf, otherwise disaster
would have ensued.
Reeves (blue hat on right) enjoys the Oxdorf “drinks” tradition. As Cholsey took to the
field the vortex was becoming unstable and both time and space were beginning
to “flutter”. Captain West was temporarily transported 10 overs forward. He
returned to tell the team the opposition would be 30 for 2 and the game would
be won. After the bowling of Emerson (6, 0, 25, 2) and Reeves (5, 1, 14, 0)
Cholsey were indeed 34 for 2 and the game along with space and time had swung
in The MAD’s favour. A smart catch from Russell and the taking of a skier out
of the azure blue surroundings by Reeves off the dangerous Herath and the game was effectively over. The MAD were now fully
acclimatised to the conditions in Oxdorf with
Dobner (2, 0, 4, 2) Roberts (6, 0, 16, 3) and Timms (4.3, 1, 7, 3) all
posting excellent figures. The difference between Oxdorf
and Oxford couldn’t have been clearer as Timms snagged a caught and bowled. Professor Farfrom was increasingly losing control of the time
continuum which meant that characters from ancient Jerusalem started to
appear. First Jesus (Jake) appeared in the outfield, spreading his arms wide
in a familiar pose. Later Judas’s Dan (5) and Ben (2) appeared twice before
vanishing just as quickly as they had arrived.
The depressing reality of Oxford…. Finally Cholsey
succumbed for just 72 and as the sun set the vortex collapsed. The MAD just
had time to bid a fond farewell to their gracious opposition and the utopian Oxdorf before returning to the realities of Oxford. ‘Reevsie’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Cholsey CC Played at Jesus College, 22 July 2012 Cholsey CC won the toss and elected
to field Far from the MCC won by 137 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none |
12 / 265 40 over match |
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|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
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|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
M. T. Westmoreland * |
b Chapman |
75 |
(106) |
8 |
- |
3-149 |
|
2 |
R. P. Turner |
b Zaheer |
15 |
(25) |
- |
- |
1-36 |
|
3 |
M. K. Reeves |
c C.
Littledale b Chapman |
17 |
(27) |
1 |
- |
2-88 |
|
4 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
lbw b Fawad |
35 |
(28) |
4 |
- |
4-170 |
|
5 |
D. Emerson |
b Zaheer |
16 |
(7) |
2 |
1 |
5-178 |
|
6 |
M. Bullock |
b Herath |
5 |
(11) |
- |
- |
6-182 |
|
7 |
T. P. W. Smith |
c Massey b Chapman |
11 |
(18) |
1 |
- |
7-206 |
|
8 |
M. S. Rundle |
b Herath |
9 |
(16) |
1 |
- |
8-207 |
|
9 |
G. J. Timms |
run out (Mander) |
1 |
(2) |
- |
- |
9-208 |
|
10 |
C. D. Roberts |
b Herath |
1 |
(2) |
- |
- |
10-209 |
|
11 |
J. C. W. Hotson + |
not out |
1 |
(1) |
- |
- |
- |
|
|
Extras |
(NB6, W7, LB4, B6) |
23 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 40 overs) |
209 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Herath |
8 |
1 |
24 |
3 |
|
|
2 |
Massey |
1 |
0 |
3 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Zahir |
8 |
0 |
51 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
C.
Littledale |
6 |
0 |
23 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
L.
Littledale |
4 |
0 |
27 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Chapman |
8 |
0 |
37 |
3 |
|
|
7 |
Harding |
3 |
0 |
25 |
0 |
|
|
8 |
Fawad |
2 |
0 |
12 |
1 |
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Team |
Cholsey CC |
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|
|
|
|
|
|
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|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
A. Chapman *+ |
b Dobner |
25 |
|
3 |
- |
|
|
2 |
M. Horton |
b Emerson |
5 |
|
- |
- |
|
|
3 |
C. Littledale + |
b Emerson |
2 |
|
- |
- |
|
|
4 |
A. Herath |
c Reeves b Dobner |
8 |
|
1 |
- |
|
|
5 |
M. Zahir |
c Turner b Roberts |
1 |
|
- |
- |
|
|
6 |
O. Maddox |
c and b Timms |
1 |
|
- |
- |
|
|
7 |
B. Mander |
c Rundle b Roberts |
2 |
|
- |
- |
|
|
8 |
Fawad |
c Emerson b Roberts |
0 |
|
- |
- |
|
|
9 |
R. Harding |
not out |
6 |
|
- |
- |
|
|
10 |
D. Edwards |
c Rundle b Timms |
5 |
|
- |
- |
|
|
11 |
L. Littledale |
b Timms |
0 |
|
- |
- |
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB4, W7, LB1, B5) |
17 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 23.3 overs) |
72 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Emerson |
6 |
0 |
25 |
2 |
|
|
2 |
Reeves |
5 |
1 |
14 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Dobner |
2 |
0 |
4 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Roberts |
6 |
0 |
16 |
3 |
|
|
5 |
Timms |
4.3 |
1 |
7 |
3 |
|
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A. Chapman kept
wicket for overs 1-20; C. Littledale for overs 21-40. J. Massey fielded for
Cholsey but was unable to bat due to injury; D. Edwards substituted |
||||||
|
MOTM: M. T. Westmoreland Champagne Moment: M. K. Reeves’ catch on
the boundary Buffet
Award: D. Emerson’s Kiwi lamb cuts
with sautéed potatoes (with carrot side) |
Opposition:
V033 / 14 Ground: G019 / 11 Captain: C011 / 67 |