Far from the MCC fines 29.07.12 v Harwell CC (a) won by 11 runs

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Dave E	Stripping on the Pitch
	Pissing near the pitch	On a hedgerow in front of some archers
	Being Pissed
	Delighting in being Pissed
	Being Redder than Jan
	Glaring	At Fines Chairman
	Harbouring Dark Thoughts *2		£0.50
	Quivering Lips	See above
	Neglecting Team Mascot	Duck was left behind in McDonald’s during the week
	Questioning Fines Chairman
	Hysterical Cob
	Forgot Duck	Mascot
	An extra 25p for good measure	Miscalculation by FC
			£3.50
Jan	Weeping	At Spam's driving to the ground
	Less Red than Dave
	Putting faith in Spam's directional sense
	Dissing Spam
	Comedy Bowling
	Kit avoidance	Whilst we batted
	Arrogant Scoring	to avoid fielding for the oppo
	Hysterical Cob
	Excessive defensiveness @ fines	body language
	Naivety	That we wouldn't fine him if he kept quiet!
			£2.50
Mike R	Trying to Widen game's excitement	Lots of Wides in the final over
	Cliff-hanger avoidance	Not enough wides to make it exciting.
	Not hitting boundaries	Too many ran runs
	Excessive Self Importance	"Oh that's close enough" when accepting match fees and fines	£1.00
	Aloofness *10	“Don't come in to celebrate me taking a wicket!"	£2.50
	Run out again		£0.50
	Failure to protect average	Run out on the final ball
	Resigned	At fines
	Blasé Richness	See Excessive self importance
	Morally Corrupt	Accepting fines and Match fees
	Getting Bunged up	See Morally corrupt
			£6.00
Spam	Bringing the Club into Disrepute	On field cobs and kit throwing *2	£10.00
	Pub Avoidance	Went to wrong town (Streatley)
	Blamed Jan	For directions to wrong town
	Going to Streatley
	Causing Weepage to Jan	Jan crying at Ian's ignorance of directions
	Trying to bring Monsoon	From Streatley to Sunny Harwell
	Getting out to a wide
	50 Avoidance	49
	100 Partnership avoidance	Not shepherding Moo for 2 more runs
	Comedy fielding	Bending down like an old man
	Lording it in the field	This is my "Manor"
	Being shit	Man of the Match / taking a shit at kick off
	Excessive faith in Dan	Going for a shit because Dan was taking strike to open game
	Dissing Skipper	For having more faith in Dan than Moo
	Self-Importance	It's Spam!
			£13.50
Moo	Arrogance * 4		£1.00
	Looking bemused
	Crap Arm	Missed Stumping / run out
	Helmet Paranoia	Having it moved off the pitch for final over
	Dissing self as Keeper	Moving helmet off pitch
	Hit in the face by spinner	Timms' top spinner popped up
	Lack of attention @ fines	Chatting to oppo
	Missed Stumping		£0.50
	Winning the toss
	Clueless Captaincy	Not knowing what to do once toss was won
	Listening to Dan	"We should bat"
	100 Partnership avoidance	98
	Instigating Collapse	3 wickets in 4 legal balls
	Smug
			£4.50
Dan	Platinum Duck		£2.00
	Opening Batsman not getting 25 runs	Nowhere fucking near
	Unsportsmanlike Conduct	Too many times to be specific! ;)
	Dog Avoidance	“I miss Joe puppy!”
	Indecency with Mascot	Bumming Giant Duck
	Harbouring Dark Thoughts
	Hollywood Cob	Dark Glasses… Jack Nicholson?
	Festering Cob
			£3.75
Paddy	Drop	Surprise, Surprise!	£0.50
	Excessive Laughing	Surprise, Surprise!
	Gaining team runs	Whilst fielding for the oppo
	KFC	Kan’t Fucking Catch
	TFC	Didn't Bat, didn't bowl, barely touched the ball, but did manage to drop a sitter in the slips!
	Excessive faith in team	Not padding up
	Not………	No idea what I fined myself for here
	Lack of effort
	Inappropriate contact with oppo	I was the receiver of this…
	Being so used to dropping 2 catches	Thinking fine was £1.00	£0.50
			£3.00
Stevie D	Drop		£0.50
	Fines Avoidance *10		£2.50
	DOBNER CLAUSE		-£2.00
			£1.00
James P	Turning up in Kit
	Smug *4		£1.00
	Bowling Avoidance	Moaning about his shoulder
	Fixation with the Changing Rooms
	Hysterical Cob *2		£0.50
	Not playing for average	Out swinging at a straight one
	Catch avoidance	Did it bounce or didn't it?
	Comedy Fielding	As above
	Making Excuses	For everything
	Mega Smug		£0.50
			£3.75
Timms	Opening Bowler no wicket
	Self Impatronising
	Criticising Fines Chairman
	Arrogance
	Smug *2		£0.50
	Harbouring Dark Thoughts	At Fines Chairman
	Playing better for the oppo	Whilst guesting in the field
	Dissing Team *9	The oppo	£2.25
			£4.25
Russ	Dissing Spam	By attempting to usurp him at number 3 (whilst he was shitting)
	Smug
	Average Protection	Not out
	Ignorance	At fines
	Refusing to run 4	A glandular problem no doubt
	Parkinson cob		£1.00
	Hysterical Cob
	Incontinence	Leaving the field for a long piss
	Arrogance
	Assuming Importance
	Trying to push out a spam
			£3.50
		TOTAL	£49.25

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£0.50
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2