“Desultory Defeat Leads Harry to Resign”

Match: 12 / 261

Lost by 19 Runs

Team	Total
Isis CC	90 - 7
D. Edwards 2 - 5, T. Smith 2 - 27
FFTMCC	71
M. Bullock 17, M. Westmoreland 16

With the tabloid rumour mill enveloping the ivory towers at White Hart Lane, Harry Redknapp took up a suggestion from his mate, Steve Dobner, and eloped to the Oxford countryside to watch Steve’s cricket team put on a T20 exhibition. It would be a welcome respite from the glare of the media spotlight – a chance to gather his thoughts after all the speculation regarding the England job, the Bung Enquiry, his tenure as Spurs’ manager and his fractious relationship with club supremo Daniel Levy. Hours later and Harry had handed in his notice… a quite desultory FFTMCC defeat reminding the great man of how his team slumped in the Premiership when almost guaranteed a Champions League spot.

A gap in the daily 2012 Oxford deluges had allowed two groups of adults to assemble at a lofty Jesus College Sports Ground for a (whisper it) game of cricket. I say two groups, but until 18:20 – this was largely one group of eleven and another disparate group of sub-groups totalling no more than about six. Eventually, Mad Skipper Hotson, or was it Edwards? – lost the toss and saw The MAD put out to grass (whilst the opposition’s head count swelled to the nominal eleven).

Hotson – team kit hoarder and occasional T20 Skipper when it suits.

Whilst D. Shorten (4-0-14-0) went wicketless with his usual verve and economy, partner T. Smith (4-0-27-2), resplendent in his beige steel toe-capped boots, made inroads into the Isis batting line-up with some well-directed full tosses – debutant Nick Hill pouching a good one at long off. Towering C. Roberts (4-0-17-1) displayed his customary T20 guile (to the obvious frustration of his 40 over Skipper), whilst G. Timms’ (2-0-14-1) brief sortie was cut short by a misinformed I. Howarth who ripped the ball from his hands to begin his own spell of bowling – Gary despatched to the covers whilst scratching his head in bemused disbelief.

Bob (left) – a T20 bowling performance to look up to.

The organised chaos on field was helped in no small measure by having a T20 Skipper, a Fielding Skipper, a Regular Skipper, an Ex-Skipper, and several other Wannabee Skippers all gesticulating whilst barking their own ideas and orders to anyone who cared to listen. Fielding Skipper Edwards, perspiration running down his furrowed brow, eventually gave way to this cacophonic bedlam and consoled himself with a more passive spot on the mid-wicket boundary. “Leave ‘em fucking to it,” he thought.

Thankfully, in spite of the on-field shenanigans, only W. Green (39) was able to mount any sort of riposte to The MAD bowling attack – and further Isis progress was checked by accurate bowling at the death from the aforementioned Howarth (4-1-10-1) and Edwards (2-0-5-2). The hosts were thus set the extremely manageable target of 91 on a low slow track.

Giant Duck and Bovine Mascot mourn the absence of Duck.

It is a curiousity of cricket that small scores are often more difficult to chase down than larger ones (though since The MAD find it difficult to chase down any fucking totals these days – that last statement was probably quite erroneous). It is obviously a mindset, whereby the batsmen subconsciously allow themselves the luxury of playing themselves in rather than just getting the fuck on with it. Thus, was the case as The Mad crawled to 32-5 off the first 12 overs. N. Hebbes (0) occupied an over before opting to use his pads rather than his bat; N. Hill (7) showed glimpses of his baseball qualities; D. Edwards (3) hadn’t adjusted to the pace of the pitch; G. Timms (5) at least got to bat higher than eleven; whilst Mr. Westmoreland (16) couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo (sic).

Nick (left) has progressed through the Mad Youth Academy (he’s < 40 years old).

Credit where credit’s due, the Isis outfit bowled with very impressive control indeed. Standout performances came from A. Mohammed (4-1-8-0), K. Ponsford (3.5-0-16-3) and J. Ponsford (4-2-5-3) – and as a unit they would leave The Mad requiring over 7 per over for victory.

Nevertheless, The Mad lower order could boast some pretty decent biffers of the ball – and with M. Bullock (17) striking his first ever MAD maximum, hope sprung eternal. Predictably it proved a false dawn, as cameos from T. Smith (4), I. Howarth (7), D. Shorten (3*), C. Roberts (2) and J. Hotson (0) simply didn’t cut the cloth. All out for 71 in the nineteenth over the innings.

Hotson and Shorten escorted off pitch by a victorious Isis CC.

Disappointment aside, it was a genuine pleasure to actually play some bloody cricket. With the home ground of Brasenose currently home to ducks and an assortment of aquatic life – it could well be the last action the Far from the MCC see for some quite considerable time.

‘1–6–w’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Isis CC Played at Jesus College, 13 June 2012 Isis CC won the toss and elected to bat Isis CC won by 19 runs Far from the MCC debuts: Nick Hill (124)

12 / 261 20 over match

Team	Isis CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	R. Venkat	c Hill b Smith	4		-	-
2	W. Green	c Shorten b Roberts	39		1	2
3	C. Tarrett	c Westmoreland b Smith	6		1	-
4	N. Haynes	st Bullock b Timms	11		-	-
5	A. Southgate	c Roberts b Howarth	10		-	-
6	P. Jacobs +	c Bullock b Edwards	8		-	-
7	J. Ponsford	b Edwards	0		-	-
8	J. Walter	not out	4		-	-
9	N. Hardy	not out	5		-	-
10	A. Mohammed
11	K. Ponsford
	Extras	(NB1, W1, LB1)	3
	TOTAL	(for 7 wickets, 20 overs)	90

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Shorten	4	0	14	0
2	Smith	4	0	27	2
3	Roberts	4	0	17	1
4	Timms	2	0	14	1
5	Howarth	4	1	10	1
6	Edwards	2	0	5	2

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	N. J. Hebbes	lbw b K. Ponsford	0	(7)	-	-	1-0
2	M. T. Westmoreland	c Jacobs b J. Ponsford	16	(29)	1	-	5-32
3	N. S. Hill	b K. Ponsford	7	(16)	-	-	2-17
4	D. M. Edwards	c Haynes b J. Ponsford	3	(6)	-	-	3-21
5	G. J. Timms	c Tarrett b J. Ponsford	5	(11)	-	-	4-29
6	M. Bullock +	st Jacobs b Walter	17	(20)	1	1	8-66
7	T. P. W. Smith	lbw b Walter	4	(6)	-	-	6-56
8	I. Howarth	c Haynes b Walter	7	(3)	-	1	7-66
9	D. Shorten	not out	3	(7)	-	-	-
10	C. D. Roberts	b Walter	2	(2)	-	-	9-68
11	J. C. W. Hotson *	st Jacobs b K. Ponsford	0	(5)	-	-	10-71
	Extras	(W2, LB5)	7
	TOTAL	(all out, 18.5 overs)	71

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Mohammed	4	1	8	0
2	K. Ponsford	3.5	0	16	3
3	J. Ponsford	4	2	5	3
4	Hardy	4	0	20	0
5	Walter	3	0	21	4

MOTM: M. Bullock Champagne Moment: M. Bullock’s first ever maximum Buffet Award: G. J. Timms’ modest latticed lemon tarts (with cream chip flakes)

Opposition: V009 / 08 Ground: G019 / 10 Captain: C012 / 16