“Sweet Sixteen”

Match: 13 / 309

Won by 1 wkt

Team	Total
OUP	99 - 7
J. Hoskins 2 - 24, T. Smith 1 - 14
FFTMCC	103 - 9
I. Howarth 32*, D. Emerson 27

With wedding bells in the air, regular T20 honcho Gary Timms was living it up at some swanky hotel on Boars Hill, thus standing in for this evening’s S16 was the oft maligned Mr Emerson. Dave (not Danial), the second best bowler in his family, has had a patchy start to his MAD Captaincy, a particular low being on Tour to Honiton in 2010. There he lost the toss, lost the match, registered a duck, dropped anything in sight and got hammered by an infant who had never hit a boundary before.

Mr Timms was otherwise engaged… doing something….

It was a positive David on this Friday evening, a couple of cans of beer to calm the nerves and a twinkle in his eye. The toss would be crucial, as any toss is for an evening games at the end of summer if you want to avoid chasing runs in the gloom (or darkness). Having keenly studied the absent Timms in recent months, Dave correctly called wrong and The MAD found themselves fielding first. Oh, the shock. Oh, the amazement. Oh, the whycantweeverwinafuckingcointossforfucksake!!!

Players and a large duck await Skipper Emerson’s (left) instructions.

Exuding a notable confidence, Emerson opened the bowling by pairing J. Pearson with T. Smith. His reasoning was quite simple – to take the pace off the ball. James (3-0-14-1) bowls with a typically rhythmic away swing, and Smithy (2-1-9-0) bowls his dobbers on most occasions stump to stump. Of course you are always thankful if the opposition can’t judge a single properly, and this the OUP showcased as the dangerous S. Gibson (3) and B. Coney (0) were ran out in the first few overs (excellent work by Mr Hill).

With the demise of Qureshi (11) to a tumbling catch from R. Turner, The MAD had looked to turn the screw, however lurking at number four came MAD nemeses, Mr Heron (or Big Bird as he fondly regarded). A recent father, Chris has taken time to get back into his cricketing flow, but after a watchful opening, he began to flex his notable paunch and get the scoreboard moving. He was partnered by Judas J. Webster, a man of infinite pedigree who can never really decide who he is playing for, or who his real ‘mates’ are. Together they pushed the OUP total past 50 and beyond.

Jan “Gun for Hire” Webster is currently signed on for every club in Oxfordshire.

Bowling in tandem, Hoskins and Howarth kept things tight, and it was the latter (4-0-23-1) who finally did for Webster. Cue the Big Bird onslaught no doubt? Well, not really, after launching JMO (4-0-24-2) through Howarth’s hands on the long on boundary, he then inexplicably raked across a slow puddingy tart to hear the death rattle. James had got his bunny again. Excellent death bowling from Bob Roberts (3-0-18-0) ensured the OUP total topped out on 99-7.

A quick turnaround in depleting light found Emerson open the batting with Turner (a man who has realised his allegiances and is happy to do so – please take note, Jan). Trusting his eye, the Skipper spanked 27 off just 13 balls to the indignation of opening bowler C. Elliott, whose first over went for 21 largely through first and second slip. With Russ anchoring things nicely, Bullock (8) chipped in at a run a ball, as didn’t G. Carter (4 off 8) and N. Hill (4 off 5), and all the while The MAD were progressing serenely towards their target.

And then the inevitable MAD collapse as Turner (12) plopped a catch to square leg (63-5) and Smith heaved predictably across the line (64-6). Howarth, now looking to cement himself at number seven, was joined in the middle by Roberts (1), who after being advised to move his feet, did so and was promptly stumped. Pearson was up next, and with absolutely no reason to panic, he was duly stumped first ball (the first recorded victim in MAD History). For fuck’s sake, James…. 77-8.

Russ “Homer” Turner going through his famous hour long warm-up exercises.

The ever positive Mr Hoskins (2) would now bring urgency to the running, with dots becoming ones, and ones becoming twos. It’s just a shame James then tried to sweep a ball off middle stump with the fielding becoming ragged.

So that was it, with no number eleven, Howarth was left stranded and The MAD tasting defeat. But what was this – a number eleven was coming to the crease!? Fresh from an afternoon nap, Jake Hotson had seen fit to make the final few overs of the game (story is embellished here, as he did make it prior to the second innings, but it just reads so much better). No stranger to playing straight, Jake nurdled a few singles as Howarth slapped a few twos. It left six runs to win off the final over with Hotson on strike.

“Just nick a single,” advised Emerson. “Get Howarth back on strike.” “Smack the fucking thing!” shouted Smith. “Take your time, Jake and keep out the good ones,” mused Turner. But when it came to the first ball of Jackson’s final over, Jake (5* off 3) ignored the above and simply carved a 3 down to the gully boundary. In the increasing gloom, Howarth (32* off 21) then levelled the scores by scampering a two, before cutting the boundary that brought the team home.

Post-match nominations and beer / cider / real ale etc.

Darting onto the pitch, a delirious MAD Skipper squeezed the life out of Hotson, before throwing Ian into the air and into some nearby bushes. It was celebration time and the return of the ‘feel good factor’. May it leak into this coming Sunday’s match and may it be there in abundance for Gary’s wedding.

‘Just T. Tonic’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Oxford University Press Played at Jordan Hill, 24 August 2013 Oxford University Press won the toss and elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 1 wkt Far from the MCC debuts: none

13 / 309 16 over match

Team	Oxford University Press
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	S. Gibson *	run out (Smith/Pearson)	3	(7)	-	-	1-3
2	J. Qureshi	c Turner b Pearson	11	(13)	1	-	3-24
3	B. Coney	run out (Hill/Carter)	0	(1)	-	-	2-3
4	C. Heron +	b Hoskins	44	(38)	3	2	4-75
5	J. vdG. Webster	b Howarth	13	(21)	2	-	5-85
6	P. Bramwell	c Smith b Hoskins	6	(3)	1	-	6-93
7	I. Hall	run out (Hoskins/Roberts)	4	(3)	-	-	7-99
8	R. Jackson	not out	2	(3)	-	-	-
9	H. Kanchanepolly
10	A. Ball
11	C. Elliott
	Extras	(W4, LB2, B10)	16
	TOTAL	(for 7 wickets, 16 overs)	99

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Pearson	3	0	14	1
2	Smith	2	0	9	0
3	Hoskins	4	0	24	2
4	Howarth	4	0	23	1
5	Roberts	3	0	18	0

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	D. Emerson *	c Bramwell b Kanchanepolly	27	(13)	6	-	1-32
2	R. P. Turner	c Coney b Gibson	12	(24)	-	-	5-63
3	M. Bullock	b Gibson	8	(8)	1	-	2-45
4	G. Carter +	lbw b Kanchanepolly	4	(8)	1	-	3-50
5	N. S. Hill	c Coney b Ball	4	(5)	1	-	4-58
6	T. P. W. Smith	b Gibson	3	(4)	-	-	6-64
7	I. Howarth	not out	32	(21)	3	-	-
8	C. D. Roberts	st Heron b Ball	1	(4)	-	-	7-77
9	J. W. Pearson	st Heron b Ball	0	(1)	-	-	8-77
10	J. D. Hoskins	lbw b Ball	2	(5)	-	-	9-87
11	J. C. W. Hotson	not out	5	(3)	-	-	-
	Extras	(NB4, LB1)	5
	TOTAL	(for 9 wickets, 15.3 overs)	103

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Kanchanepolly	4	0	21	2
2	Elliott	2	0	28	0
3	Gibson	4	1	19	3
4	Ball	4	0	17	4
5	Jackson	1.3	0	17	0

MOTM: I. Howarth Champagne Moment: N. S. Hill’s fine stop and run out Buffet Award: J. D. Hoskins and C. D. Roberts shared barbeque wings and drumsticks

Opposition: V019 / 17 Ground: G013 / 16 Captain: C018 / 04