“Wembdon: Live Over by Over”
Match: 13
/ 306
Lost
by 6 wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
146 |
|
M. Westmoreland
71, S. Dobner 18 |
|
|
|
|
|
Wembdon CC |
152 - 4 |
|
D. Emerson 2 - 15, J. Hoskins
2 - 40 |
|
|
Good afternoon ladies
and gentlemen and welcome to the first ever FFTMCC live report. The ambitious
intention is to provide live updates from this game, the Test and Chester-le-Street and I. Howarth's trips to the toilet
after a bowel defining curry yesterday evening. First news is that
skipper Steve has won the toss and has elected to bat on what appears to be a
good track. There are a few changes
from the narrow loss at Weston yesterday evening. In come Thornton and Psycho
whilst Reeves and Howarth are sitting out this one due to having no luck in
the drawing names out of a hat ritual. It also a new look FFTMCC team with
Jake having been shorn by Jamo and now looking more
like Warren Beattie or Neil Morrisey (depending on who you talk to) and less
like the woman out of The Ring.
Any complaints about this report – please feel
free to send them to him! Openers Moo and Matt
take to the field. Eyes down and here we go. In the test its 74-1, Coot and
Root going along nicely. Back to our game and the sight screens have been
hoisted behind the bowler's arm. Over 1 Moo safely negotiates a
golden. Bowler Pope coming off a 30 yard run-up. And there's the first runs,
a couple of byes down to fine leg. Well done byes, safely off the mark as
always. Soft hands, that's the key as Moo steers one through the slips. A dot
ball to see out the first over. 6-0. Wasp update, they are annoying. Over 2 Well watched Matt,
another golden avoided. Matt rocks back and pulls, but no run there. Jake /
Warren / Neil Morrisey signals the first wide of the match. Carswell
struggling for length bowls a beamer and Matt's off the mark with a beautiful
push to mid-off. Hard hands, that's the key as Moo skies one over the slips.
13-0. Over 3 Matt looking like a
proper batsman, there I typed it, let's see what happens next. Well left
Matt. In other news, Russ has figured out how to operate the score board. A
play and a miss another dot and Matt goes for a little walk. 13-0. Over 4 Martin looking alright,
there Howarth said it. A slower ball from Carswell goes wide. Moo steers one
down to the vacant fine leg, nice shot that (courtesy I. Howarth) 19-0. Over 5 One dug in from Pope,
but Matt is equal to it and skies it over the slips. Pope ramping it up now
frustrating that the bunch of piss heads aren't folding as quickly as first
suspected. 20-0.
Moo and Matt (with bats). Over 6 We're now up to 4 slips
and gully. The gallery have finally woken up 'good running Matt'. Breaking
news, Howarth has gone for a shit, we're fully up and running now, in the
test Trott and Cook and still going along nicely. 'Shit number 7, arse
feeling rather tender, like someone has dragged some fucking gauze over it,
(Howarth not impressed with loo roll shocker'.) 25-0. Over 7 Ah yes! Great shot Matt,
flowing drive through off. Ah no! Matt (6) has his middle stump pegged back.
'They've never been in trouble' thanks for that Russ. Mystic Russ wanders
out, chatting to Moo. He’s quick and it's swinging is Matt's verdict on Pope.
Trott out for 49. Russ pushes and looks comfortable. Commentator curse on TMS
and here. 29-1. Over 8 New bowler, could be jossie, or lussie, we're
settling on Jossie. Let's go for Josh. Moo getting
everything in line. More soft hands from Moo, through the slips, don't bother
running for that. Moo has to run for the first time. Gudiapati,
it's definately Josh Gudiapati.
More soft hands and another 4 from Moo. 39-1. Over 9 Wasp update, they're
still very annoying. Well left Russ and again, and that's over. 39-1. Over 10 4 runs, an orthodox
drive - from KP. 2 to Moo, working through the on-side. Don't bother running
for that! Moo creams one through the off side. Shot of the day according to
Howarth. It's at this point, we start talking about 50's, he's looking good,
found some form, etc etc, you get the idea. 45-1. Over 11 Well left Russ, 11 dots
and counting. I'm starting to need the toilet, how long until drinks? How
long since Howarth was in there? 9 overs and not long enough, we're hanging
on. Stop the clocks, it's a Moo. 47-1. Geoff takes over the commentary in the
test. He likes Trott's footwork.
Fascinating stuff, eh guys? Over 12 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
and Moo calls Russ through for a single. Russ gets an inside edge and looks
around like someone swiped his walking frame. 3 wides and the fifty is up,
well done extras. No!!!! Moo's calling is really coming on. The 'Homer scoop'
brings Russell a 4, Madge would have been proud. Well left Russ, 4 byes.
59-1. A big big over. Over 13 Pope in to his seventh
over. Lovely drive, he hit that sweetly, Alistair Cook is moving nicely.
Geoffrey says 'you can't score runs in the dressing room'. Thanks Geoff. And
that's over, right, I'm going in, toilet update to follow. Over 14 Toilet safely
negotiated, Howarth didn't do any permanent damage. We've got a streaker! No,
it's only Jamo. Pope into his final over, straining
for a first wicket. Moo sees off Pope. 63-1 Over 15 Don't know what happened
here, we're an over behind. I blame MicroSoft. Over 16 Bowled! Russ (7) is out.
Gudipatti gets his man. Come on Steve, captains
innings from you today dude. Paddle from Steve and he's off the mark. 13 dots
now from Moo, don't panic, plenty of time. 64-1. 5 runs in the last 4 overs.
Russ ‘Homer’ Turner trudges off. Over 17 Right, what have they
got? Vicary, that's what. Howarth thinking of another shit. It's a front foot
no ball and umpire Bob signals a no ball and free hit. Steve makes the most
of it, creaming one towards the scorers. Howarth calls 'watch out' to be
group of skids playing in front of us. They scatter and the ball smacks into
Howarth's ankle. 69-2. Over 18 Martin on a dot run. Smacks
one to the covers, but it’s well fielded. Howarth worried as to Moo's mental
state. Wait! It's building. A nice push to the on-side and the pressure is
released. 71-2. Over 19 One to Dobner. Moo pulls
backward of square for 4, he's in to the 40's. England are 2-140 as they say
in Australia. Geoffrey is still mumbling on about something. 80-2. Over 20 Carl
Trunks comes on. Top trunks, Donald Trunks, it's a copy writer's dream. And
that's drinks. Moo temporarily marooned on 49, Howarth trots off to the loo,
that's number 8 today if anyone is counting. How was it Ian? No comment.
86-2. Over 21 Moo survives a mooted
LBW. Pietersen's out! And that's 50 for Moo! A lovely pull to mid-on for 4. A
raise of the bat, and that's what we want to see. Howarth middles one and the
wasp population is reduced by one. 90-2.
Moo registers his first 50 of the season. Over 22 A quick single, but
Dobner slips going for a second. More on this later no doubt. They're
stealing singles and rotating the strike very nicely here. Dobner goes aerial
for a couple. Trunks has a quicker one. 94-2. Russ now settling in to his job
of putting up the numbers. Over 23 Carswell comes back.
We’re dying of thirst here, Paddy disappeared to the bar about 3 overs ago.
Moo's best knock since when? Cholsey or Portchester is the argument. Moo
skies one, it's up up up,
it's in the air, Moo looks gone, it's still going, I can't believe it, still
great innings Moo. No! Wait, he's spilled it and Moo survives. More
sensational news, Paddy purchased the first ever pint of Guinness at the bar,
helps bar lady operate pump. That was a terrible drop, no doubt about it, he
had it, had it and then down. Over 24 Shot Steve the gallery
cry and it's 100 up. Bell finds a gap on TMS 153-3. No!!!!!!! and Stevie is
sent back and no mistake. 102-2. Projected score? 169 is par we reckon. Over 25 Another contender shot
of the day, Moo rocks back and pulls one through the on side for 4. Moves to
60. Moo gets another life, but that was a much harder chance. It's all you
Steve, as he calls Moo through for a quick single. The MAD's unluckiest for
player gets another life after skying one wide of the fielder. Another nice
pull from Moo and that's 11 off the over. Projected score up to 182 and we're
looking much better against some quality bowling. Over 26 Overthrows. Moo edges
one through the vacant slip area. The records are starting to come in to
sight, another six more for the highest individual total of the season.
120-2.
“It’s a better view from here, Russ – eh?” Over 27 Lott on to bowl. Job
Lott? A copy writers dream. Jamo back to report that
there's a good atmosphere out there. Steve takes one to the box, survives an
LBW and then edges one through the slips. You make your own luck in this
game. Moo's out! Lobs one back to Carswell. Comes off to rich applause,
that's your position at the top of the order cemented. Over 28 Don't panic! Oh dear oh
dear oh dear. Stevie goes and are we on for a famous Mad collapse? Smith and
Rundle to try and steady the ship. That projected score from a couple of
overs ago is looking optimistic. The game is in the balance, both here and at
Chester-le-Street. 127-4. Over 29 Nothing doing, RSI
setting in. Over 30 Run ‘em
up! Or not then. Rundle declines a single. Hurrah and we're running, we're
running. 1 off it. 129-4. These are the doldrums, those difficult middle
overs. Over 31 'This is shit, you can
quote me on that' I Howarth or G Boycott, you decide. Rundle is out, caught. Over 32 Come one Dave, 48 off 49
balls. New bowler, Joshie? Any comments on your
innings Moo? 'Very pleased to finally make some runs' Thanks Moo, that media
training is working well. 'Once it came out the hat I knew it was on'. Any
more words of wisdom? Yeah, Emerson just needs to hit it, 200 is on' Played
on and Emerson goes.
Over 33 Next up its Neil
Morrisey. 133-6 and it's all going wrong, both on the field and in the
writing department. Over 34 Rock soundtrack breaks
out in preparation for the Wembdon under 18's disco this evening. TMS
temporarily drowned out at 154-4 as we say in England. Us 2, wasps 0. Jake
goes heaving over a straight one. It's all happening, there's music, wickets
here and at Chester-le-Street. Geoffrey says it's
all unravelling and we're about to release our secret weapon. Welcome to the
crease Jamo. Hit it on the deck says Geoffrey.
Thorn does exactly that and creams one through mid-on for 4. Is that still
Lott? No, it’s Trunk! OMG as they say on Twitter it's all kicking off. Over 35 142-7
some things have happened. Over 36 Hoskins out to sharp
stumping. 142-7 Over 37 Paddy runs two shocker. Oh dear, oh dear, Thornton finds fresh air with
the 9 iron. Next up Bob. 146-9. 7 wickets for 23 runs, just another innings
for The MAD. Scratch that, 8 wickets and it's all over. Paddy doesn't hit
one. And that's tea, join us in a few minutes to see if The MAD can defend
146. Some late controversy as it’s realised that Howarth can't score and I
can't spell controversy. 120-2 turns into 146 all out, we're not in Milton
anymore, but might as well be. Over 38 I wish. Over 39 I wish. Over 40 I wish. Tea.
Too much sun is bad for
the feathers. Welcome back to the Wembdon CC
reply. Over 1 It's
Emerson to open off of his full run up. Pigden
plays one fine through the gully. Stevie behind the stumps. 1-0. Over 2 M.
Rundle to open from the other end, looks like Steve is playing all his cards
here hoping for an early break through. Psycho on the money. Lots of generous
clapping and encouragement. L Pigden plays a classy
off drive to finish the over, 4 off it. 5-0. Over 3 A
beauty! Emerson does Goss for pace, takes the edge and Dobner makes no
mistake behind the stumps. Later in the over Joshy
plays a classy stroke through the on side for 4. Over 4 Rundle
gives Pigden some width and he needs no further
invitation to cut for 4 through the covers. Joshy,
smooth as silk is already purring along. 13-1. Over 5 Oh
my! This is like men against boys, Joshy is a class
above, cuts Emerson for 4, and it’s utterly effortless. We've waited 5 overs
for the first comedy fielding, but there it is. Thornton stretches out a boot
and misses before Jake runs around one and then falls to the ground, quality
stuff lads. 19-1.
Off the sickbed…. Over 6 Moo's
still got it, ignoring potential ham string injury to chase one down to the
boundary and a useful stop. Emerson still probing. Stevie D lets one through
for a bye, bad luck Steve. 21-6. Over 7 I'm
losing the will here, typing is getting more laboured, just like on the
pitch. Pigden plays a really
classy off drive, reckon it could be time for some pie, they won't be
used to that. Die you wasp scumbags. Over 8 30-1.
The wheels are coming off the Reeves / Howarth writing / scoring combo. Over 9 Wonderful!
Emerson gets Joshy LBW and a classy innings comes
to an end. That was a big wicket, the first team captain goes, good cricket
Dave. 31-2. Over 10 Thorn
fields one with his feet, Moo misfields, 38-2. Batsmen don't look troubled.
Over 11 Tall
Bob comes on and sees his first ball cut firmly to the boundary. Moo dives
but is well short. Calls for pain killers. If only there were some sober
substitutes to take his place. Bob gets one to leap off of a length, and
finishes with a nice dot, good bowling big fella. TMS has disappeared, but
news from the club house is that Prior is out, 6 down. 43-2. Over 12 Hoskins
comes on. This is a good tactic, his pie could be
just the ticket. Heads! Two bounces and over the rope in our direction. And
another boundary, that was terrible from Thorn, letting one through for 4. Over 13 Steve,
gloves on hips looks at Bob as he skews one down the leg side. Come on guys,
let's have a bit of energy in the field now. Over 14 'It's
depressing' says Moo from just the other side of the boundary, we're probably
about 100 runs short here. Make that 200 as one is hammered over the boundary
for 6 and within feet of our position. 67-2. Over 15 Its
official, the BBQ has been lit. They're obviously not expecting this to last
much longer. Wasp watch, TMS watch, toilet watch, BBQ watch, six watch as two
15 year olds take The MAD attack apart. Bairstow's
out! That's it, that's the gulf in class as Puddy pulls one and Bob
misfields. Next ball Puddy skies one and Moo takes a nice pouch. If man of
the match was in any doubt, it's not now. 77-3. Over 16 That's
it, in the slot. But only if slot means about waist height. Gets what it
deserves, dispatched for 4. Over 17 83-3
and I feel a little sleep coming on. Over 18 A
little push for one, then a big heave over mid-wicket for a one bounce 4.
Then, what would you know, a big hit too many and it's stumped Dobner, bowled
Hoskins for an unlikely break through. Still 90-4, stranger things have
happened.
Bob (background) throws
himself into his bowling. Over 19 Emerson
chases one to the boundary for 3. Paddy sticks out a foot and Emerson fields.
96-4. Over 20 Another effortless off drive and Wembdon CC pass 100.
It's looking tired out there, last night's revelry is starting to take its
toll. Bob pulls out a good stop. 102-4. Over 21 Thorny
on to bowl, this really is the last throw of the dice, they won't be
expecting this. Emerson being kept busy down at long off. Dropped! Paddy
spills one, then shakes his hand in pain. Nice over though Thorn. Over 22 A
final final throw of the dice, its Warnie. If there
was a car park adjoining the ground we would now be collecting the ball from
it, massive 6. When it's not going for you, it's not going as one lands at
Dave's feet for a one bounce four. 15 off the over, not long now. 123-4 Over 23 'Bet
this one isn't a dot' says Howarth as Thorn floats one in. Bang, four, not
wrong there dude. Balls are being dispatched literally to all parts of the
ground and a swivel and pull sends one to the fine leg boundary. 133-4 and
only a lack of 3's is stopping the full horror to be displayed on the score
board. Over 24 The
scores are level, make sure your windscreens are insured. There we go, once
more over the boundary, 6 runs. It was men against boys. Unfortunately the
men were a bunch of slightly hungover, largely talentless has-beens whereas
the boys were proper cricketers.
One
final quote from losing skipper Stevie D “we were probably a couple of
bowlers short. And a couple of hundred runs.” That's
your lot folks. ‘Reevsie’
|
*
Statto Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Wembdon CC Played at Wembdon CC, 9 August 2013 FFTMCC won the toss and elected to
bat Wembdon CC won by 6 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
13 / 306 40 over match |
|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
c Carswell b Lott |
71 |
(89) |
13 |
- |
3-123 |
|
2 |
M. Bullock |
b Pope |
6 |
(17) |
1 |
- |
1-29 |
|
3 |
R. P. Turner |
b Gudipati |
7 |
(28) |
1 |
- |
2-63 |
|
4 |
S. Dobner *+ |
b Trunks |
18 |
(30) |
2 |
- |
4-123 |
|
5 |
M. S. Rundle |
c Trunks b Lott |
2 |
(18) |
- |
- |
5-129 |
|
6 |
T. P. W. Smith |
b Joshy |
12 |
(23) |
2 |
- |
9-146 |
|
7 |
D. Emerson |
b Trunks |
1 |
(5) |
- |
- |
6-133 |
|
8 |
J. C. W. Hotson |
b Trunks |
3 |
(4) |
- |
- |
7-137 |
|
9 |
J. D. Hoskins |
st Pigden b
Puddy |
1 |
(4) |
- |
- |
8-142 |
|
10 |
P. A. S. Mellor |
b Puddy |
3 |
(6) |
- |
- |
10-146 |
|
11 |
C.D. Roberts |
not out |
0 |
(0) |
- |
- |
- |
|
|
Extras |
(NB2, W6, LB5, B9) |
22 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(all out, 37.1 overs) |
146 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Pope |
8 |
3 |
12 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Carswell |
5 |
0 |
30 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Gudipati |
6 |
0 |
28 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Vickery |
2 |
0 |
14 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Trunks |
8 |
0 |
34 |
3 |
|
|
6 |
Lott |
4 |
1 |
6 |
2 |
|
|
7 |
Joshy |
3 |
0 |
8 |
1 |
|
|
8 |
Puddy |
1.1 |
0 |
4 |
2 |
|
|
Team |
Wembdon CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
L. Pigden + |
st Dobner b Hoskins |
44 |
(50) |
8 |
- |
4-90 |
|
2 |
P. Goss |
c Dobner b Emerson |
0 |
(7) |
- |
- |
1-5 |
|
3 |
P. Joshy |
lbw b Emerson |
15 |
(20) |
3 |
- |
2-31 |
|
4 |
S. Puddy * |
c Westmoreland b Hoskins |
26 |
(26) |
2 |
2 |
3-77 |
|
5 |
T. Lott |
not out |
54 |
(25) |
5 |
3 |
- |
|
6 |
B. Vickery |
not out |
7 |
(14) |
- |
- |
- |
|
7 |
J. Bishop |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
J. Carswell |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
J. Gudipati |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
C. Trunks |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
B. Pope |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB2, W1, LB1, B2) |
6 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 24 overs) |
152 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Emerson |
5 |
0 |
15 |
2 |
|
|
2 |
Rundle |
5 |
0 |
21 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Roberts |
5 |
0 |
24 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Hoskins |
5 |
0 |
40 |
2 |
|
|
5 |
Smith |
2 |
0 |
16 |
0 |
|
|
6 |
Bullock |
2 |
0 |
33 |
0 |
|
|
MOTM: M. T. Westmoreland Champagne Moment: M. T. Westmoreland’s
catch on the boundary Buffet
Award: M. Bullock’s sautéed potatoes
with lamb and vegetables |
Opposition:
V076 / 01 Ground: G065 / 01 Captain: C008 / 13 |