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“Murray Wins Wimbledon as MAD Win a Coin Toss

 

 

Match:  13 / 297

Lost by 7 Wkts

 

 

Team

 

Total

FFTMCC

144 - 8

S. Dobner  31,  G. Carter  27

 

Enstone CC

146 - 3

J. Newman  1- 24

 

 

 

 

Andy Murray finally ended Britain’s 77 year wait for a men’s champion at Wimbledon. In an atmosphere reminiscent of his Olympic final win last summer, the Scot was willed on by some 15,000 spectators on Centre Court and millions around the country – apart from Club stalwart, James Hoskins, whose bigoted view of the guy had him rooting for his Serbian opponent (for no reason I may add). James has of course got a chequered history of developing personal indifferences to people – in particular, during the end of Ed Lester’s tenure as Club Founder, his consistent vilification of England’s Kevin Pietersen, and his utterly mystifying hatred of Ian Howarth’s stray cat, Stimpson. When it comes to baseless, derogatory feelings towards certain elements of life, JMO is King.

 

 

 

We can’t show a Wimbledon image, so here is Dobner being … pretty average….

 

 

What made Murray’s achievements even more memorable were perhaps the sight of the PM mixing with A-list celebrities and wallowing in glorious sunshine, on a court allowing hundreds of adoring females the luxury of wearing skimpy dresses whilst sating their thirst on jugs of Pimms. This was Wimbledon how we remembered it as kids – not some soggy, roof enclosed freak show at midnight….

 

Elsewhere in England, three or four females had gathered at Brasenose College Sports Ground in Oxford to make full use of a flank of striped deckchairs that straddled the boundary edge. There was no Pimms on offer, and very little in the way of excitement, but at least the weather was on a par with that experienced at the All England Club.

 

 

 

Popular as ever – Giant Duck….

 

 

Baulking what appears to be a current MAD etiquette, stand-in Skipper for the day, R. Turner, contrived to actually win the toss. Caught up in the confusion, he somehow came to the conclusion that the Mad could actually bat and strapped on his pads. Dear, oh dear, Russ – you have so much to learn….

 

Perhaps out of a mixture of disbelief and disappointment, the same Mr. Turner (5) came trudging back to the pavilion a few minutes later, after a rather cantankerous show of dissent on being given out. He claims to have heard a dull ‘thud’ as he nicked one behind – much like a ball hitting the turf – but after the square leg umpire confirmed the ball sailed straight into the keeper’s gloves, we could only conclude Russ turns his hearing aid up. I. Howarth (1) was next to fall, demonstrating almost limitless levels of impatience, dragging one on to exacerbate a woeful beginning off only his third delivery [and first off P. Myatt (7-0-17-1)]. An elevated I. Leggate (6) and J. Hoskins (0) departed soon after to leave the Mad tottering on 29-4 after 11 overs.

 

G. Carter (27) and S. Dobner (31) would at least provide the FFTMCC with some much needed guile and defiance; however Steve’s stay at the crease was ended by his own inability to judge a single hit straight to a waiting square leg. Shame, as there was fifty there for the taking. The home team would eventually realise 144-8 thanks to some happy hitting towards the end from D. Shorten (11), D. Emerson (9), M. Rundle (8*) – and a jewel of a cameo from the comedic, G. Timms, swatting his way to cavalier 20 not out off a mere 16 deliveries. Thank god for the bowlers then. Again.

 

 

 

S. Dobner (31) demonstrates a modicum of talent.

 

 

Tea was a chaotic Kiwi ploughman’s affair consisting of bread, some more bread, some alternative bread, some cheese, some smelly cheese and some ‘knock-off’ cheese that Dave probably made a few quid on. A few onions and crisps complemented the spread, with Mr. Hoskins great tasting (or so I am led to believe) cake slices forgotten about and left in a plastic tub the kitchen. These were later discovered, but then stolen by Mr. Shorten [or so I am led to believe] to feed his family and members of the Boars Hill watchdog community. There was no ‘tea’ per se – as the college deems us as incompetent and untrustworthy when using water above room temperature. That said, Mr. Hotson* was not in attendance….

 

On resumption of the match, in now sweltering conditions, J. Newman (7-1-24-1) made an early breakthrough by castling K. Anthony for a duck. And that as good as it got in all honesty. Any further joy was tempered by S. Parker (33) flexing his biceps, and D. Bussey (50) who flexed his paunch. The ball soon disappeared into the summer haze as Shorten (7-0-29-1) struggled with line and length, Timms (6-0-37-1) mixed crap with aplomb, Emerson (5.4-0-24-0) complained about chronic fatigue, and Hoskins (2-0-18-0) and Rundle (1-0-8-0) provided the appetising entrées so absent during the tea interval.

 

It was a thoroughly underwhelming performance, perhaps underlined by watching Keeper Dobson consistently flinging himself around behind the stumps and castigating his docile team mates at every opportunity. Spared from criticism was one dehydrated Mr. Leggate – who had somehow ended up accumulating 53.4 overs in the field after earlier deputising for Enstone and their shortfall of eleven men / females. Though why he chose a can of Special K cider to remedy his fluid imbalance is anyone’s guess…?

 

The positives?

Well, like I’ve already mentioned, Murray won Wimbledon and Mr Turner won the toss.

 

* - See the ‘Glossary’ section of the website relating to kettle injuries circa 2004.

 

 

 

Taxi for Mr. Leggate – first stop the JR….

 

 

 

‘I. Lendl’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

Statto Scorecards

 

 

 

Far from the MCC versus Enstone CC

Played at Brasenose College, 7 July 2013

 

FFTMCC won the toss and elected to bat

Enstone CC won by 7 wkts

 

Far from the MCC debuts:  none

 

 

13 / 297

 

 

 

 

 

35 over match

 

 

 

Team

Far from the MCC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

R. P. Turner *

c Parker b Watts

5

(21)

-

-

1-7

2

G. Carter +

lbw b P. Anthony

27

(78)

1

-

8-110

3

I. Howarth

b P. Myatt

1

(3)

-

-

2-8

4

I. C. Leggate

c sub (Rundle) b P. Anthony

6

(12)

1

-

3-22

5

J. D. Hoskins

c Bussy b Speke

0

(5)

-

-

4-29

6

S. L. P. Dobner

run out (K. Anthony)

31

(32)

4

-

5-76

7

D. Shorten

b K. Anthony

11

(14)

1

1

6-95

8

D. Emerson

c K. Anthony b Watts

9

(15)

1

-

7-109

9

M. S. Rundle

not out

8

(10)

-

-

-

10

G. J. Timms

not out

20

(16)

-

-

-

11

J. Newman-Robson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

(NB8, W4, LB3, B11)

26

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 8 wickets, 35 overs)

144

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

P. Myatt

7

0

17

1

 

2

J. O. Watts

7

0

19

2

 

3

Speke

7

0

25

1

 

4

P. Anthony

7

1

30

2

 

5

L. Myatt

3

0

22

0

 

6

K. Anthony

4

0

19

1

 

 

 

 

Team

Enstone CC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

K. Anthony

b Newman-Robson

0

 

-

-

1-0

2

D. Bussy

b Shorten

50

 

6

2

 

3

S. Parker

c Dobner b Timms

33

 

5

-

 

4

P. Myatt

not out

31

 

5

-

-

5

L. Myatt

not out

11

 

1

-

-

6

J. O. Watts

 

 

 

 

 

 

7

P. Anthony

 

 

 

 

 

 

8

J. U. Watts

 

 

 

 

 

 

9

G. Speke

 

 

 

 

 

 

10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

(W15, LB2, B4)

21

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 3 wickets, 28.4 overs)

146

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

Newman-Robson

7

1

24

1

 

2

Shorten

7

0

29

1

 

3

Timms

8

0

37

1

 

4

Emerson

5.4

0

24

0

 

5

Hoskins

2

0

18

0

 

6

Rundle

1

0

8

0

 

 

 

 

 

MOTM:  G. J. Timms

Champagne Moment:  I. C. Leggate’s swatted on-drive for four

Buffet Award:  J. D. Hoskins’ lemon sponge cake slices 

 

 

Opposition:  V073 / 02

Ground:  G040 / 29

Captain:  C024 / 04

 

 

 

 

 

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