Match: 13 / 297
Lost by 7 Wkts
Team |
Total |
FFTMCC |
144 - 8 |
S.
Dobner 31, G. Carter
27 |
|
|
|
Enstone CC |
146 - 3 |
J.
Newman 1- 24 |
Andy Murray finally ended Britain’s 77 year wait for a
men’s champion at Wimbledon. In an atmosphere reminiscent of his Olympic
final win last summer, the Scot was willed on by some 15,000 spectators on
Centre Court and millions around the country – apart from Club stalwart,
James Hoskins, whose bigoted view of the guy had him rooting for his Serbian
opponent (for no reason I may add). James has of course got a chequered
history of developing personal indifferences to people – in particular,
during the end of Ed Lester’s tenure as Club Founder, his consistent
vilification of England’s Kevin Pietersen, and his utterly mystifying hatred
of Ian Howarth’s stray cat, Stimpson. When it comes to baseless, derogatory
feelings towards certain elements of life, JMO is King. We can’t show
a Wimbledon image, so here is Dobner being … pretty average…. What made Murray’s achievements even more memorable
were perhaps the sight of the PM mixing with A-list celebrities and wallowing
in glorious sunshine, on a court allowing hundreds of adoring females the
luxury of wearing skimpy dresses whilst sating their thirst on jugs of Pimms.
This was Wimbledon how we remembered it as kids – not some soggy, roof
enclosed freak show at midnight…. Elsewhere in England, three or four females had
gathered at Brasenose College Sports Ground in Oxford to make full use of a flank
of striped deckchairs that straddled the boundary edge. There was no Pimms on
offer, and very little in the way of excitement, but at least the weather was
on a par with that experienced at the All England Club. Popular as
ever – Giant Duck…. Baulking what appears to be a current MAD etiquette,
stand-in Skipper for the day, R. Turner, contrived to actually win the toss.
Caught up in the confusion, he somehow came to the conclusion that the Mad
could actually bat and strapped on his pads. Dear, oh dear, Russ – you have
so much to learn…. Perhaps out of a mixture of disbelief and
disappointment, the same Mr. Turner (5) came trudging back to the pavilion a
few minutes later, after a rather cantankerous show of dissent on being given
out. He claims to have heard a dull ‘thud’ as he nicked one behind – much
like a ball hitting the turf – but after the square leg umpire confirmed the
ball sailed straight into the keeper’s gloves, we could only conclude Russ
turns his hearing aid up. I. Howarth (1) was next to fall, demonstrating
almost limitless levels of impatience, dragging one on to exacerbate a woeful
beginning off only his third delivery [and first off P. Myatt (7-0-17-1)]. An
elevated I. Leggate (6) and J. Hoskins (0) departed soon after to leave the
Mad tottering on 29-4 after 11 overs. G. Carter (27) and S. Dobner (31) would at least
provide the FFTMCC with some much needed guile and defiance; however Steve’s
stay at the crease was ended by his own inability to judge a single hit
straight to a waiting square leg. Shame, as there was fifty there for the
taking. The home team would eventually realise 144-8 thanks to some happy
hitting towards the end from D. Shorten (11), D. Emerson (9), M. Rundle (8*)
– and a jewel of a cameo from the comedic, G. Timms, swatting his way to
cavalier 20 not out off a mere 16 deliveries. Thank god for the bowlers then.
Again. S. Dobner
(31) demonstrates a modicum of talent. Tea was a chaotic Kiwi ploughman’s affair consisting of
bread, some more bread, some alternative bread, some cheese, some smelly
cheese and some ‘knock-off’ cheese that Dave probably made a few quid on. A
few onions and crisps complemented the spread, with Mr. Hoskins great tasting
(or so I am led to believe) cake slices forgotten about and left in a plastic
tub the kitchen. These were later discovered, but then stolen by Mr. Shorten
[or so I am led to believe] to feed his family and members of the Boars Hill
watchdog community. There was no ‘tea’ per se – as the college deems us as
incompetent and untrustworthy when using water above room temperature. That
said, Mr. Hotson* was not in attendance…. On resumption of the match, in now sweltering
conditions, J. Newman (7-1-24-1) made an early breakthrough by castling K.
Anthony for a duck. And that as good as it got in all honesty. Any further
joy was tempered by S. Parker (33) flexing his biceps, and D. Bussey (50) who
flexed his paunch. The ball soon disappeared into the summer haze as Shorten
(7-0-29-1) struggled with line and length, Timms (6-0-37-1) mixed crap with
aplomb, Emerson (5.4-0-24-0) complained about chronic fatigue, and Hoskins
(2-0-18-0) and Rundle (1-0-8-0) provided the appetising entrées so absent
during the tea interval. It was a thoroughly underwhelming performance, perhaps
underlined by watching Keeper Dobson consistently flinging himself around
behind the stumps and castigating his docile team mates at every opportunity.
Spared from criticism was one dehydrated Mr. Leggate – who had somehow ended
up accumulating 53.4 overs in the field after earlier deputising for Enstone
and their shortfall of eleven men / females. Though why he chose a can of
Special K cider to remedy his fluid imbalance is anyone’s guess…? The positives? Well, like I’ve already mentioned, Murray won Wimbledon
and Mr Turner won the toss. * - See the
‘Glossary’ section of the website relating to kettle injuries circa 2004. Taxi for Mr.
Leggate – first stop the JR…. ‘I. Lendl’
|
*
Far from the MCC versus Enstone CC Played at Brasenose College, 7 July
2013 FFTMCC won the toss and elected to
bat Enstone CC won by 7 wkts Far from the MCC debuts: none |
13 / 297 35 over match |
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
R. P. Turner * |
c Parker b Watts |
5 |
(21) |
- |
- |
1-7 |
2 |
G. Carter + |
lbw b P. Anthony |
27 |
(78) |
1 |
- |
8-110 |
3 |
I. Howarth |
b P. Myatt |
1 |
(3) |
- |
- |
2-8 |
4 |
I. C. Leggate |
c sub (Rundle) b P. Anthony |
6 |
(12) |
1 |
- |
3-22 |
5 |
J. D. Hoskins |
c Bussy b Speke |
0 |
(5) |
- |
- |
4-29 |
6 |
S. L. P. Dobner |
run out (K. Anthony) |
31 |
(32) |
4 |
- |
5-76 |
7 |
D. Shorten |
b K. Anthony |
11 |
(14) |
1 |
1 |
6-95 |
8 |
D. Emerson |
c K. Anthony b Watts |
9 |
(15) |
1 |
- |
7-109 |
9 |
M. S. Rundle |
not out |
8 |
(10) |
- |
- |
- |
10 |
G. J. Timms |
not out |
20 |
(16) |
- |
- |
- |
11 |
J. Newman-Robson |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB8, W4, LB3, B11) |
26 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 8 wickets, 35 overs) |
144 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
1 |
P. Myatt |
7 |
0 |
17 |
1 |
|
2 |
J. O.
Watts |
7 |
0 |
19 |
2 |
|
3 |
Speke |
7 |
0 |
25 |
1 |
|
4 |
P. Anthony |
7 |
1 |
30 |
2 |
|
5 |
L. Myatt |
3 |
0 |
22 |
0 |
|
6 |
K. Anthony |
4 |
0 |
19 |
1 |
|
Team |
Enstone CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
1 |
K. Anthony |
b Newman-Robson |
0 |
|
- |
- |
1-0 |
2 |
D. Bussy |
b Shorten |
50 |
|
6 |
2 |
|
3 |
S. Parker |
c Dobner b Timms |
33 |
|
5 |
- |
|
4 |
P. Myatt |
not out |
31 |
|
5 |
- |
- |
5 |
L. Myatt |
not out |
11 |
|
1 |
- |
- |
6 |
J. O. Watts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
7 |
P. Anthony |
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
J. U. Watts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
G. Speke |
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W15, LB2, B4) |
21 |
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 3 wickets, 28.4 overs) |
146 |
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
1 |
Newman-Robson |
7 |
1 |
24 |
1 |
|
2 |
Shorten |
7 |
0 |
29 |
1 |
|
3 |
Timms |
8 |
0 |
37 |
1 |
|
4 |
Emerson |
5.4 |
0 |
24 |
0 |
|
5 |
Hoskins |
2 |
0 |
18 |
0 |
|
6 |
Rundle |
1 |
0 |
8 |
0 |
|
MOTM: G. J. Timms Champagne Moment: I. C. Leggate’s swatted
on-drive for four Buffet
Award: J. D. Hoskins’ lemon sponge
cake slices |
Opposition:
V073 / 02 Ground: G040 / 29 Captain: C024 / 04 |