“Shit
Talk”
Match: 13
/ 298
Lost
by 6 Wkts
|
Team |
Total |
|
FFTMCC |
84 - 8 |
|
J. Pearson 21, M. Bullock
16 |
|
|
|
|
|
Isis CC |
85 - 4 |
|
G. Timms 2 - 9 |
|
|
Results can sometimes be
misleading, they are the final epitaph of a story you haven’t actually read. So if you glanced at this particular six wicket loss, you
would more than likely come to the conclusion that is was just ‘another
shitty MAD defeat’. Not many would argue with that thought process, as most MAD
defeats are shit – really shit. In fact, some are so shit they barely merit a mention [or report]. But this match
was different, very different, and those that weren’t on the pitch, were
glued to the edge of their plastic stackable chairs right down to the
penultimate ball.
Replace these seated MAD players with Isis
players for greater authenticity (at end of match). On a hardened, abrasive track,
resembling a paradise for anyone with a decent bat and reasonable eyesight,
the Isis raised a few eyebrows, not by winning the toss (goes without saying),
but in opting to field first. The usual pairing of K. Whiter (4-1-15-1) and N.
Wyatt (4-0-20-1) opened things up as J. Pearson (21) and M. Bullock (16) made
decent progress after J. Hoskins’ second duck in as many days. But then
wickets started to tumble. As they normally do. Because this is the Far from
the MCC we’re talking about, a team so familiar with collapses that they put
Bangladesh garment factories to shame [sic]. R. Turner (2) put recent
disappointments behind him to concentrate on a new one, N. Hill (0) chipped
one neatly back to the bowler, G. Timms (1) suffered a nosebleed batting up
at number six, I. Howarth (9) started repairing the damage before damaging it
further and D. Emerson (5) is wondering why he even bothers walking out to
the middle these days. Some binary artistry from I. Leggate (11* off 24 balls)
and criminal average protection from M. Reeves (4* off 15 balls) completed
proceedings. The MAD had posted an instantly forgettable total of 84-8, just
as Tall Bob climbed out of his helmet and removed every piece of kit he had
studiously just put on (yeah – he didn’t bat. As is his want).
J. Pearson (21) exemplifies a cautious forward
defensive. What a pile of shit
then. But how shit? That was the question. Did anyone actually ‘time’ the
fucking thing out there? It (the ball) stayed pretty low,
it didn’t come onto the bat like you thought it would, and it nibbled (it
moved) about all over the place. Maybe it wasn’t such a shit total after all?
Maybe this track was a wolf in sheep’s clothing? We’d find out soon enough. It soon became apparent
that this was indeed a tricky surface with which to bat. Pearson (2-0-9-0),
Roberts (2-1-5-0) and Reeves (3-0-18-0) started impressively, complemented by
a backlash of enthusiasm and effort in the field following Sunday’s pitiful
exhibition. Runs were at a premium, but it’s wickets you need if you really
want to slow the scoring rate. Just as well Skipper Timms (4-2-9-2) brought
his bowling boots then – nipping out barker (6) and Gifford (22) during a
mesmerising display of considered and rhythmic flan. With Hoskins (1-0-4-1)
doing for the dangerous O. Walter (10) and Emerson (4-1-14-1) charging in
like his life depended on it, the Mad were taking this match to the final
over.
Howarth (bowling) failed to bring the game home
for The MAD. “No pressure then,” [to Mr.
Howarth (3.5-0-20-0)] “a wicket maiden would be lovely” chirped Captain
Timms. So how do you set the field to basically allow no runs? Bowl round the
wicket, in the block hole, at leg stump, with everyone in on the one.
Simples. Ball one. Dot. Ball two. Dot. Ball three strays down leg, but dot (thanks
umpire Ponsford, most generous). Ball four. Dot. This is easy. Ball five, in
the block hole, on middle peg. Perhaps out of desperation and with a hint of
the Dilshan (famed Sri Lankan improviser), P. Jacobs (9*) clipped it off his
bootlaces whilst pirouetting in front of his timber, just past the
outstretched hand of Emerson at backward leg. “You bastard!” So, a shit result, but
most definitely not a shit match. That is now 13 matches (or
so I am led to believe) spread out beyond a decade, where The
MAD, in all their guises, have failed to beat the Isis CC. Now that really is shit. ‘Spam’
|
*
Statto
Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Isis CC Played at Queens College, 9 July 2013 Isis CC won the toss and elected to
field Isis CC won by 6 wkts Far from the MCC debuts:
none |
13 / 298 20 over match |
|
Team |
Far from the
MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. W. Pearson |
c Jacobs b Hardy |
21 |
(24) |
3 |
- |
5-51 |
|
2 |
J. D. Hoskins |
c J. Walter b Whiter |
0 |
(3) |
- |
- |
1-1 |
|
3 |
M. Bullock + |
b Wyatt |
16 |
(20) |
3 |
- |
2-28 |
|
4 |
R. P. Turner |
b Ponsford |
2 |
(11) |
- |
- |
3-41 |
|
5 |
N. S. Hill |
c and b Hardy |
0 |
(2) |
- |
- |
4-43 |
|
6 |
G. J. Timms * |
b Ponsford |
1 |
(2) |
- |
- |
6-53 |
|
7 |
I. Howarth |
b Gregory |
9 |
(11) |
- |
- |
7-66 |
|
8 |
I. C. Leggate |
not out |
11 |
(24) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
9 |
D. Emerson |
c O. Walter b J. Walter |
5 |
(8) |
- |
- |
8-75 |
|
10 |
M. K. Reeves |
not out |
4 |
(15) |
- |
- |
- |
|
11 |
C. D. Roberts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(W8, LB2, B5) |
15 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 8 wickets, 20 overs) |
84 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Whiter |
4 |
1 |
15 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Wyatt |
4 |
0 |
20 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Ponsford |
2 |
0 |
5 |
2 |
|
|
4 |
Hardy |
2 |
0 |
13 |
2 |
|
|
5 |
Gregory |
4 |
2 |
4 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
J. Walter |
4 |
0 |
20 |
1 |
|
|
Team |
Isis CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
G. Barker |
b Timms |
6 |
|
- |
- |
1-30 |
|
2 |
J. Gifford |
lbw b Timms |
22 |
|
4 |
- |
2-36 |
|
3 |
O. Walter |
b Hoskins |
10 |
|
- |
- |
4-76 |
|
4 |
J. Ponsford |
b Emerson |
24 |
|
3 |
- |
3-65 |
|
5 |
P. Jacobs + |
not out |
9 |
|
- |
- |
|
|
6 |
N. Hardy |
not out |
1 |
|
- |
- |
|
|
7 |
K. Ponsford |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
K. H. Whiter |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
P. Gregory |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
N. H. R. Wyatt |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
J. Walter * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB1, W4, LB3, B5) |
13 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 19.5 overs) |
85 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Pearson |
2 |
0 |
9 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Roberts |
2 |
1 |
5 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Reeves |
3 |
0 |
18 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Timms |
4 |
2 |
9 |
2 |
|
|
5 |
Emerson |
4 |
1 |
14 |
1 |
|
|
6 |
Howarth |
3.5 |
0 |
20 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Hoskins |
1 |
0 |
4 |
1 |
|
|
MOTM: G. J. Timms Champagne Moment: D. Emerson’s most
excellent wicket (bowled) Buffet
Award: M. K. Reeves’ banana cake
with chocolate covering |
Opposition:
V009 / 13 Ground: G008 / 06 Captain: C022 / 10 |