“A Good
Fucking Moan”
Match: 13
/ 290
Match
abandoned
|
Team |
Total |
|
Isis CC |
20 - 1 |
|
M. Rundle 1 - 2 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
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|
|
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|
After bathing in
sunshine for nearly two weeks, it was a guaranteed that the Far from the
MCC’s first T20 at Brasenose would suffer from the weather. “Jesus Christ!
Look at these broody fucking clouds….” exclaimed Mr. Hoskins, as he surveyed
the approaching army of darkness to the east of pavilion. “You’re a
pessimistic sod” replied Mr. Rundle (himself no stranger to a glass half
empty). “Bloody weather’s followed you from Overton”, chirped up Mr. Howarth.
“You keep saying it’s always shit where you live. So it’s your fault you
miserable bugger.” After continued moaning and groaning amongst the team, the
consensus was unanimous – the weather looked shit; probably would be shit;
but when would it be shit? “Fuck
it”, said Timms “we’re starting. Get these covers off, get changed and let’s
get bloody out there. It isn’t raining yet – and who knows – we maybe
alright?” (sound of universal sighing and underhand comments about said
objectivity).
Pre-rain. Whichever team lost the
toss was nailed on to be asked to field. I mean – who wants to field first in
game which is in all probability going to be abandoned anyway? Naturally Mr.
Timms lost the toss and informed his troops of the happy news. “Oh, joy”, Mr.
Webster sarcastically opined “I can’t wait to get my fucking kit soaking
again.” “Me too” said Mr. Pearson, “any chance I can get some wicketkeeper
gloves wet as well?” Pursing a fag between his lips, Mr. Timms informed his
bespectacled friend he could “do what [he] fucking want[ed].” Opening the bowling, Mr.
Emerson sprayed a few down leg before having a
“plumb lbw” turned down flat. “I’m bowling shit” he squawked, “I’m changing
my action. I want to be the new Simon Jones.” “Simon Jones?” Queried Mr.
Leggate as he hid behind his Canadian beard at square leg. “More like Aled
Jones! Guffaw.” At the other end, Mr.
Rundle chuntered into the wind before inducing an edge off O. Walter (12*) which
was summarily grassed by Pearson minding the stumps. “Fuckin ‘ell! Twat.” (cue intense brooding and harbouring of dark thoughts
whilst staring daggers at the aforementioned ex-Military public schoolboy). The third over was
largely forgettable, with Emerson (2-0-18-0) using yet more width to elicit
another boundary before sulking off to mid-on to start soaking up a gentle
scattering of rain which now hung in the air. “This is fun”, whinged H. Scott
from under his comedy sunhat as he stood out in the covers “glad I was persuaded
to give up my evening to replace Mr. Hotson. Does he have a crystal ball or
something? Bastard.” “Brilliant”, whined A. Ward “nothing like cricket in the
rain after a shit day at work to brighten the mood….”
Mid-rain moaning. WICKET!!! Rundle (1.1-0-2-1)
strikes with the score on 20. P. Jacobs (small cob and
withering stare at umpire on dismissal) lbw 2. And that was that. As Mr. Whiter strode
purposefully from the pavilion at #3, clamouring at the chance to finally
have a bat on this ground after decades on the adjoining Queens College pitch
– it rained. It almost stopped, but
then it didn’t, raining some more. And then a lot more. After hauling covers
back onto the square, everyone darted back to the pavilion to smoke fags,
drink beer and whine about the proceedings. “I haven’t even touched the
ball”, snivelled Mr. Hill. “What a waste of fucking time and energy”, carped
Howarth as he scribbled the names of twenty two bellyaching blokes into the
scorebook. “Forty minutes stuck on the Iffley Road to rock up, get my kit wet
and fuck off home. Marvellous.” Other players were slightly less ironic, but
nonetheless downbeat in their melancholy.
Post-rain. Still – there is one
positive spin on this match, however – it represents the first time in MAD
history (15 years) that the Isis have failed to beat The Jude, The Madding or
FFTMCC. Result. ‘S. Odden’
|
*
Statto
Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Isis CC Played at Brasenose College, 12 June
2013 Isis CC won the toss and elected to
bat Match abandoned Far from the MCC debuts:
none |
13 / 290 20 over match |
|
Team |
Isis CC |
|
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|
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|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
O. Walter |
not out |
12 |
(12) |
2 |
- |
- |
|
2 |
P. Jacobs |
lbw b Rundle |
2 |
(8) |
- |
- |
1-20 |
|
3 |
K. H. Whiter |
not out |
0 |
(0) |
- |
- |
- |
|
4 |
J. Ponsford |
|
|
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|
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|
5 |
H. Stoneman |
|
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6 |
R. Kella |
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7 |
N. H. R. Wyatt |
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8 |
J. Walter |
|
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9 |
P. Gregory |
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10 |
J. Campbell |
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|
11 |
K. Ponsford * |
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|
Extras |
(W6) |
6 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 1 wicket, 3.1 overs) |
20 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Emerson |
2 |
0 |
18 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Rundle |
1.1 |
0 |
2 |
1 |
|
|
Team |
Far from
the MCC |
|
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|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
A. S. Ward |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
J. W. Pearson + |
|
|
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|
3 |
H. Scott |
|
|
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4 |
I. Howarth |
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5 |
N. S. Hill |
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6 |
I. C. Leggate |
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7 |
D. Emerson |
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8 |
J. D. Hoskins |
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|
9 |
G. J. Timms * |
|
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|
10 |
M. S. Rundle |
|
|
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|
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|
11 |
J. vdG. Webster |
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|
Extras |
|
|
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|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
3 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
MOTM: n/a Champagne Moment: n/a Buffet
Award: D. Emerson’s underdone NZ
lamb sausages (with mint) |
Opposition:
V009 / 12 Ground: G040 / 25 Captain: C022 / 06 |