Far from the MCC fines 08.08.14 v Wroxeter Grove CC (a) lost by 26 runs

Recorded Fines

25p unless otherwise stated.

Name	Fine	Reason	Cost
Gary	Bowling ‘spin’
	Sport confusion
	Envious of Russ	Taking wickets
	Envious of Jake	Taking wickets
	Envious of Ian	Taking wickets
	Hysteria x 2		£0.50
	Uber-envy	Of anyone taking wickets – particular non, or part-time bowlers	£0.50
	Golden duck		£1.00
	Fines avoidance	Pissing about in the changing rooms and at the bar
	Drink problem	Through fines
	Questioning the team
	Pimping out his wife	In Salad’s absence
	Uber-hysteria		£0.50
	Pen obsession
	Flirting with Mike x 2	Gazing adoringly at him	£0.50
	Diarrhoea avoidance	Despite mentioning he had bad guts
	Failing	To take wicket and score a run
	Harbouring	A cob
			£6.25
Matt B	Being angelic	To lessen fines
	Extended pub crawl back to Telford	His march to a closed CAMRA pub was approximately 26 miles
	Ignorance	Not knowing the pub was shut
	Hat-trick avoidance
	Failure	To produce a moment of wonder
	Sharing the show
	Having no goals in life
	Hoarding the stats	On a redundant laptop which works about 3 hours a year
	Hysteria x 3		£0.75
	Being ‘Wonderland’	King of the crazy golf courses
	Failure to reproduce	His form across both crazy golf tournies
	Talking through fines
	Drink problem	Through fines
	Exploding?!?
	Um
			£4.25
Jake	Impersonating Tom Daley!?!?
	Not running
	Not knowing where the ground was…	…or where he was
	Charging an England spinner	Going down the track to an U16 England bowler
	Ignorance	Of the above
	Impersonating a bowler	By taking a wicket
	Impersonating a batsman	By scoring some runs
	Impersonating a cricketer	See above
	Lack of faith	In anything he does
	Lack of self-importance	Lets others steal his grandeur [when he does something good]
	Lack of sleep
	Swearing through fines
	Clock obsession	On his fines timing
	Abusing Darley	By email [“twat”]
	Being a wimp	Apologising profusely to Darley to prevent him receiving a beating
	Emailing when fucked	No sleep and drunk at the time
	Cyber bullying Darley	Cowardly manner
	Not understanding night time…	…is for sleeping x 3	£0.75
	Um
	Impersonating Brian Blessed	With his booming, alcohol addled voice
	Overly remorseful	About his cyber bullying
			£5.75
Thorn	Impersonating Jonathan Trott	Batting for ages [for himself]
	Getting the Trotts
	Playing for himself x 2		£0.50
	Average protection
	Ball dodging x 2	In the field	£0.50
	Eyesight failure	When batting
	Not running	When batting
	Impersonating a snail x 2	When running between the wickets	£0.50
	Ignorance	Of Fines convention
	Playing Test cricket…	…in a T20
	Um x 2		£0.50
	Disinterested x 5	During Fines	£1.25
	Fielding with his arse	To stop the ball
	Hysteria
	Being strange
	Gesturing	In a rude way to FC
	Accepting congratulations…	…for running a single
	Arguing	About his “aggressive” batting
	Moaning	About the team not understanding “how difficult it was to bat out there”
	Smoking on the pitch		£0.50
			£7.25
Moo	Ball avoidance
	Drop		£0.50
	Missed stumping x 2		£1.00
	Impersonating Hannibal Lector	Wearing keeper’s gimp mask
	Grinning x 2	At FC	£0.50
	Impersonating a wicketkeeper
	Chuntering	Throughout fines
	Moaning	Throughout fines
	Bonding with Spam	Doing fuck all when it came to batting
	Speaking the truth	What is that about?
	Being honest	Seriously….
	Talking through fines
	Self-entrapment
	Bowling avoidance
	Batting avoidance
	Dissing Paddy x 3		£0.75
	Focussing on his Fantasy teams	Rather than the matter at hand
	Selfish traits	See above
			£6.25
JMO	Resembling a hobo
	Ignorance	Not listening to fines
	Harbouring a cob
	Shite umpiring x 2	Having to be reminded by fielder to signal	£0.50
	Disinterest
	Delaying the inevitable	With slow umpiring tactics
	Hysteria x 2		£0.50
	Losing the match	With poor umpiring
	Camera avoidance	Whilst out there umpiring
	Delaying the bus [to ground]	By fannying about in Telford
	Lost in Debenhams	What were you doing in Debenhams on a bloody cricket Tour!?!?
	Arguing	About shopping in Debenhams
			£3.50
Paddy	Having a blank sheet	Or himself prior to fines
	Being unsociable	Not playing
	Self-pity
	Bowling avoidance
	Batting avoidance
	Blaming Darley	Hi so-called co-Organiser of Tour for the total shambles
	Hysteria
		TOTAL	£35.25

*

Special Rates

Indiscretion	Cost
Duck	£0.50
Golden Duck	£1.00
Diamond or Platinum Duck	£2.00
Out Playing Reverse-sweep / Switch-hit	£1.00
Dropped Catch	£0.50
Opening Bowler No Wicket	£0.50
Opening Partnership <25 Avoidance	£0.50
Smoking on the Pitch	£0.50
Drinking on the Pitch	£0.50
Missed Stumping	£0.50
Missed Run-Out	£0.50
Fines' Folder Abuse	£0.50
Impersonating Billy Liar	£0.50
Having a Major Cob	£0.50
Having a Parkinson’s Cob (utter meltdown)	£1.00
Uber [anything] – particularly arrogant, smug or condescending	£0.50
Extreme [anything] – particularly Frowning	£0.50
Insulting the Fines Committee Chairman	£1.00
Insolvency / Unemployment (maximum limit) Known as the “Dobner Clause”	£1.00
Swearing in Front of Kids	£2.50
Bringing the Club into Disrepute (Ruled on by the Captain)	£5.00
Dissent (to On-field Umpires)	£5.00
Mongoose Multiplier (out using Goose)	x2