“MAD Lose
Game That Never Was”
Match: 14 / 323
Lost by 23 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Lemmings |
187 - 4 |
|
M. Rundle 2 - 50 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
164 - 8 |
|
I.
Howarth 50, J. Pearson
40 |
|
|
Following a protracted week
of scrambling a team together for the time honoured fixture versus the
Lemmings, there then came a non-protracted scramble for a ground. Storms
threatened and then dumped a load on Brasenose on the Friday, but the
ground’s lack of availability on the Sunday was probably more a result of relative
parties opting for a night on the piss than driving a pitchfork into the turf.
With a Lemmings coach now just minutes away and a Dobner people-carrier around
the corner, it was panic time…. “Cancel the game!” It’s too late to cancel the game. “Get another ground!”
Where can we get a fucking ground? Teas? “Cancel the
teas!” Too late, they’re already made…. Best tell
the Lemmings the game is off then, best tell the Dobner’s it’s
off then…. Best tell every fucker it’s off! By
email? By text? By voicemail? Too late…. As a collection of
Captains past and present ran their phone bills up in the local pub, Lady
Luck chose to smile on The MAD (I know, I know… that sounds all wrong). Last
minute dealings had found us a strip at Jordan Hill, so cars, vans, coaches and amphibious vehicles were diverted. Everyone
off to North Oxford. Game very much ON.
Panic!!! After petrol receipts
were handed in by players travelling back and forth across Oxford, it was
time for The MAD to lose the toss. Howarth then inexplicably won it, albeit with
Mr. Wood’s incorrect call, but realised it mattered little. To avoid any
repetition of the Debacle of ‘09* (all out 78 and all over bloody early) and
regardless of the toss, The MAD always field first against the Lemmings
anyway. It is now a customary gesture, and thus serves to ensure the match
extends beyond 4pm.
On a pitch of low
bounce offering lateral movement, both D. Shorten (7-0-25-0) and M. Shelley
(7-2-11-0) were excellent in both their control and miserliness. However, the
Lemmings’ wicket column would remain blank, though quite how is anyone’s
guess – with the ball regularly passing the outside edge seemingly every
over. This pattern continued until the drinks interval (17 ovs) with both C.
Roberts (4-0-19-0) and Mr. Timms unable to attract some (or any) fortune.
These ‘Baker Boys’ weren’t for shifting, with elder statesman, T. Baker,
displaying admirable resolve in his advancing years. Or were they? It is
amazing how many times a wicket follows a drinks break, and this day was no
different, with the obdurate R. Baker (30) slapping a Timms’ (4-0-27-1) first
ball aperitif straight to Howarth at mid on. Whilst
it brought cheer in MAD ranks, it brought less cheer when his replacement, J.
Greany, started slapping it to all parts. “Ahh, now we remember the Lemmings”
said everyone in a uniform dulcet monotone…. During the latter over thrashing,
M. Rundle (7-0-50-2) stuck to the gameplan of aiming at the stumps, whilst
Howarth (6-0-46-0) stuck to his plan of “taking one for the team”. The
fielding throughout this blitzkrieg was largely exemplary, with Mr. Shorten’s
combination with Stumpmaster S. Dobner to run out
R. Smith (3) the highlight. In the end, Mr. Greany’s
bombastic 89* propelled the Lemmings total to a rather unnerving 187-4. Jim
Baker did not bat.
Newly released
footage of what is thought to be Lord Lucan (far right). Tea was provided by a
coalition of the Boars Hill Catering Core (BHCC) and a mysterious,
bespectacled fellow going under the moniker of the Eighth Earl of Lucan. The
offspring of this charitable delegation were both attentive and warm in their
company – with a particular passion for piling mountains of cream on the scones
(of which tasted divine). Excellent effort people – good job done by all. The MAD reply began
well, with M. Westmoreland (8) relaxing back into his formative role as
opening batsman with the inform J. Pearson. A shame then that their 33 run
partnership was ended by Martin’s mistimed drive off a J. Baker (5-0-14-1)
full toss. Following R. Turner’s (2) unfortunate redirection of the ball onto
his stumps, P. Mellor (10) would then find some welcome form with the bat,
only narrowly avoiding the drinks break. (70-3 off 18.5 ovs). Thereafter hydration,
The MAD started to get a grip on the match as Howarth smited a few needy
boundaries, and Pearson upped the ante (40). Following James’ undoing off a
pull shot, S. Dobner (9) then provided a great partner in running the Lemmings
ragged. Suddenly The MAD were running everything –
ones, twos and threes. It is a big ground at Jordan Hill and space abounds,
so mindful of this successful tactic, Steve then swiped across the line. (130-4
off 29.1 ovs).
Reasonable grounds
for reasonable excitement…. This period of MAD
success thus continued, with Mr. Shorten exercising his biceps with a
muscular innings of 10. He ran too, like the wind, as Howarth’s fuel gauge
flickered on empty. As did Timms (1*), who continued running, even when
Howarth struck out in the deep. Unlucky Ian, good knock (50), but don’t think
anybody will clap as nobody ever bothers counting your fucking runs…. With Timms continuing
to run for each and everybody (other than himself), Roberts (0) didn’t
bother, whilst M. Shelley (7*) nodded to days gone by. But in the end, it was
all academic with the imitable Mr. Greany (5-0-34-1) closing the show. Too
little, too late. Such a shame. Shoulda
coulda
…(sigh) 164-8
with R. Smith (7-1-31-4) the pick of the Lemmings bowling.
R. Turner (left)
nicks some winter fuel…. Recent matches against
our postgraduate friends haven’t matched up too well, but this day was different. This
was a day of fluctuating fortunes and no little contest. This time the Far
from the MCC at least made the graduation, scoring well in the exams. A
for effort, A- for sport and B+ in terms of result. Here’s to next year,
where hopefully fannying around before the start will improve on an F. ‘Will
Hunting’
|
*
Statto
Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Lemmings Played at Jordan Hill, 15 June 2014 Far from the MCC won the toss and
elected to field Lemmings won by 23 runs Far from the MCC debuts:
none |
14 / 323 35 over match |
|
Team |
Lemmings |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
R. Baker |
c Howarth b Timms |
30 |
|
4 |
- |
1-50 |
|
2 |
T. Baker |
b Rundle |
13 |
|
1 |
- |
2-105 |
|
3 |
J. Greany |
not out |
89 |
|
10 |
- |
- |
|
4 |
R. Smith |
run out (Shorten/Dobner) |
3 |
|
- |
- |
3-121 |
|
5 |
S. Wood * |
b Rundle |
14 |
|
1 |
- |
4-168 |
|
6 |
P. Williams + |
not out |
9 |
|
1 |
- |
- |
|
7 |
M. Baker |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 |
J. Hull |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
C. Greenwood |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
J. Baker |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB2, W12, LB6, B9) |
29 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 4 wickets, 35overs) |
187 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Shorten |
7 |
0 |
25 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Shelley |
7 |
2 |
11 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Roberts |
4 |
0 |
19 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Timms |
4 |
0 |
27 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
Rundle |
7 |
0 |
50 |
2 |
|
|
6 |
Howarth |
6 |
0 |
46 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
J. W. Pearson |
c and b Smith |
40 |
(78) |
4 |
- |
4-109 |
|
2 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
c Hull b J. Baker |
8 |
(19) |
1 |
- |
1-33 |
|
3 |
R. P. Turner |
b Hull |
2 |
(7) |
- |
- |
2-39 |
|
4 |
P. A. S. Mellor |
b Greenwood |
10 |
(24) |
- |
- |
3-70 |
|
5 |
I. Howarth * |
c M. Baker b Smith |
50 |
(49) |
4 |
- |
7-157 |
|
6 |
S. L. P. Dobner + |
b Smith |
9 |
(12) |
- |
- |
5-130 |
|
7 |
D. Shorten |
b Greany |
11 |
(9) |
1 |
- |
6-144 |
|
8 |
G. J. Timms |
not out |
1 |
(5) |
- |
- |
- |
|
9 |
C. D. Roberts |
b Smith |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
8-157 |
|
10 |
M. W. Shelley |
not out |
7 |
(9) |
- |
- |
- |
|
11 |
M. S. Rundle |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
(NB3, W20, LB2, B1) |
26 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 8 wickets, 35 overs) |
164 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
J. Baker |
5 |
0 |
14 |
1 |
|
|
2 |
Greenwood |
7 |
1 |
30 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
M. Baker |
7 |
0 |
26 |
0 |
|
|
4 |
Hull |
2 |
0 |
8 |
1 |
|
|
5 |
Smith |
7 |
1 |
31 |
4 |
|
|
6 |
Wood |
2 |
0 |
18 |
0 |
|
|
7 |
Greany |
5 |
0 |
34 |
1 |
|
|
MOTM: I. Howarth Champagne Moment: D. Shorten and S. L. P.
Dobner’s combined run out Buffet
Award: I. Howarth’s wholesome
granary corn beef baps (with salad filling) |
Opposition:
V024 / 12 Ground: G013 / 18 Captain: C007 / 53 |