|
Remember
the date.
August
8, 2014.
Remember
the place.
Wroxeter,
Shropshire.
Remember
the event.
The
biggest maximum ever hit in village cricket.
Remember
the bowler.
Geoff
Carter (cocked arm part-time non-bowler).
Remember
the batsman.
C.
Haylett (bruising middle order with arms like Popeye).
The ball is now thought lost on the moon.
It
will live with everyone who witnessed it until their dying day. It will
forever be discussed with both laughter and incredulity. The ball left the
field of play, it left the adjoining car park, it cleared a nearby housing
estate, it escaped Earth’s atmosphere and was still gathering speed…. The
destination was unknown, but the trajectory was most definitely interplanetary.
“So, I just thought I’d give it a little more
flight….”
*
Any
unbelievable event or record is best substantiated by witnesses, and henceforth
we call the following to the stand….
|
Witness Statement
From Rowland Hill,
1st Viscount Hill GCB GCH
8 August 2014
I, Lord Hill, have
been standing here atop my column, 133 feet above ground level, for 198
years. I am aware that around 300 feet to my right is a field where cricket
is played, but my aspect is of the Abbey Foregate and I have never been
able to enjoy a view of the game. On the day in question, however, I became
aware of a pink projectile crossing my field of view from the right, more
than a hundred feet off the ground and still rising. I lost sight of it as
it headed towards the Wenlock Road. I have never witnessed such a sight
before or since, but conclude that said ball must
have been “in the slot”.
|
|
Witness Statement
From Gareth Timms, 1st Team Skipper since 1846.
8 August 2014
I was fielding on the boundary at long off. When the back is
smacked towards you there, you instantly think 'chance of a catch?' I didn't. At the time of passing over my head the ball was
as high above me as I was (stood) from the batsman. Clearing the 60ft trees
by a Sergei Bubka-esque distance the bounding
thud it made on landing some 30 metres back in the adjoining car park was
as lovely a noise as that off the bat about 20 seconds earlier. JMO could
have bowled his 4 over spell in the time it took to retrieve the
ball.
There are clean strikes. And then there was this monster.
Massive. Just massive.
|
|
Witness Statement
From Russell Turner,
Publisher of Banned Cricketing Memoirs.
8 August 2014
“Houston, we have a
problem. There is what looks like a pink cricket ball that has entered the
stratosphere and it is heading straight for us!”
|
|
Witness Statement (* recording)
From Mark Rundle, Computer Technician (in the loosest sense)
8 August 2014
“As a witness to the event recently mentioned on Crimewatch,
my witness statement follows:
As the accused began his run up, I was positioned on the
Long on Boundary, perfectly placed to catch ANYTHING that came my way…. so,
I saw it all unfold. The accused lobbed down a perfect pie, which was
dispatched with aplomb by the batsman. As it flew higher and higher over
the trees lining the cow corner area, I think I saw a brief flash.
This could have been a trick of the light, or possibly the
ball leaving our atmosphere, a reverse comet if you will.
Anyway, after the laughter subsided, I joined the manhunt in
trying to retrieve the ball in the carpark down the road where we all
assumed the ball landed… if it did indeed land. Alas, despite a massive
manhunt we were unable to find the ball and it remains a missing ‘person’
to this day.”
* tapes clicks off (statement ends).
|
Geoff is speechless after hearing how far the
ball carried after (allegedly) being found….
Geoff trying to
justify the unjustifiable: “Listen, a bigger ground and that is straight down
someone’s neck!”
The legend will live forever.
Amen.
Or at least as long as
the team live to support the hosting of this website.
‘Six
Inspector’
|
