“Waste of Time Inspector Report”

Oxford. July 8, 2014.

Following on from a 35 minute trip over the 170 foot span of the Donnington Bridge earlier this evening, I am happy to relate that the crowded Ford Focus carrying four employees of corporate giant Centrica, one employee of corporate giant Hachette Livre, two kit bags and one Giant Duck eased gently into the non-flowing traffic on the Abingdon Road. Such was the non-flow of the traffic along this main artery into Oxford, one of the party was able to dismount said transport, pop into the local fish and chip shop, source a Pukka pie and then climb back into the car which had gently inched nine metres in said timeframe. An opportunity lost after some consideration, to have maybe ordered a fresh batch of chips.

After a further 30 minute crawl along the 700 metres of the Abingdon Road to the ground of Queens College, I am also happy to relate a distinct change in the weather. From an overcast, slightly breezy and unappealing climate, we were thus treated to a steady and prolonged drizzle which eventually gave way to a more persistent downpour. Thankfully the outside elements created a mist in the car which reduced visibility down to about a careful wipe of someone’s shirtsleeve.

Having a ball: members of the Far from the MCC.

Claustrophobia and bordering insanity were duly avoided by dismounting from said transport at the intended destination. Here, several other misinformed members of the same team – and opposition – congregated under the eaves of the pavilion to look adoringly out at the expanse of emerald green being summarily smudged out by the increasingly precipitous weather.

The evening was rescued to a degree by the early opening of the bar. Here you were able to quench your thirst whilst offering up insightful opinions on world politics and pressing matters such as a game of cricket.

The latter was abandoned.

‘Corporate Taxi’