“Fake Result”

Match: 15 / 373

Lost by 79 runs

Team	Total
Wytham CC	213 - 6
M. Reeves 2 - 47
FFTMCC	134
J. Pearson 35, D. Emerson 24

The match ended as it had begun, with MAD players complaining about being tired and unenthused after the rigours of Tour – and with one of their number being on a hat-trick. Sandwiched inbetween these facts and observations was a performance of no little ineptitude. Or so it seemed to the casual observer.

There is nobody more casual than James….

Following on from the largely flaccid and anti-climactic finale, FFTMCC manager, Jose Timms, took time out to field questions by the SKY Sports news team on what had gone so badly wrong....

SKY: “Thanks for taking the time out to talk to us, Jose – we appreciate you’re not best happy with the outcome today. What went wrong? That was some turnaround considering the success you’ve enjoyed recently on your travels.”

JT: “This was a fake result. We started badly, and were vastly improved in the second half. We should have got something out this game.”

SKY: “Are you saying what appears to be a comprehensive victory is flattering to Wytham?”

JT: “The best team in the first half won the game. The best team in the second half was The MAD for sure. We had a difficult first half, our opening bowlers didn’t create a lot and our wicket keeper made a few important saves.”

Joes Timms (right) wins the toss.

SKY: “You had plenty of options today, Jose, but decided on what appeared to be a set way of approach in the first half? [only six of eight bowlers used]

JT: “I have eleven bottles of Domaine Meo-Camuzet vintage at home; do I open them all at same time? Listen, when other teams juggle their attack – it is an intelligent thing, the sort of thing I get criticised for all the time. I substituted Reeves and then brought him back later. This was a masterstroke.”

SKY: “Wytham were 209-5 at the time Reeves made any impact, Jose.”

JT: “When Reeves created opportunities, yes?” [disdainful sneer]

SKY: “People are questioning the second half – why you would honestly think you deserved more out of this game?"

JT: “It is not a level playing field. Sunday cricket should look to be outlawing surfaces such as this. The advantage is clearly with an opponent used to this surface. We play grass. They play plastic. It is similar to late 80s in England and places such as Kenilworth Road, Loftus Road and Boundary Park. It is unjust. It is unfair. It is discriminatory.”

SKY: “So this blip is more down to aesthetics and conditions as opposed to any shortcomings within the team?”

JT: “The result is false – like I have already said. Is it a mirror? No.”

Carter – not unduly successful up front.

SKY: “You tinkered with your team in the second half. What were the reasons?”

JT: “Pearson has injury, so I move him back to defence [from upfront]. I am also worried about the midfield [middle order of the team], so I make bold decision to bring myself on in this position [#6]."

SKY: "Would you say Wytham looked stronger in all departments today?"

JT: “It is a crazy result. You see what you want to see.”

SKY: “Are you looking to strengthen your team in the coming weeks?”

JT: “I speak to the Bean Counter, always. I see what finances we have to strengthen areas of the team, always. Today, we do not show our abilities. Today the opponent get all the luck.”

Emerson – SKY’s pick of the day.

SKY: “Are you at liberty to say where you’re looking to strengthen the FFTMCC?”

JT: “First half, my team look drunk. Newman (8-0-35-1) throws more balls out to touch as I have ever seen him. Roberts (5-0-16-1) is okay, but not tracking back – complains of tiredness. Pearson (8-0-34-1) is good as cover, but maybe no penetration. I mention Reeves earlier (8-0-47-2).”

SKY: “An odd decision to bring yourself on with minutes to go before half-time?”

JT: “Other managers do this, they are genius. I simply supplement (4-0-36-0) the good work in the centre being done by Emerson (7-1-29-1). I get bad negative reaction.”

SKY: “Emerson was probably our pick of your team today.”

JT: “You have opinion – so do I. As will others. Opinions are simply opinions – they have no effect or real meaning. Dave’s strength and conditioning improves as does his performance.”

Hotson (batting) – absorbing pressure.

SKY: “And the second half, Jose – you see that as a good half?”

JT: “Like I said, we deserve something out of game. Emerson (24) and Carter (14) make good movement up front. They are unlucky with their final touch.”

SKY: “Our commentators said they seemed out of sorts – gun-shy.”

JT: “We are all experts, no? I see Hadfield (13) expressing himself without the final ball, but midfield could do better.”

SKY: “The midfield seemed to create nothing. They had no spark or creativity in the final third.”

JT: “Again, this is your opinion. We have injuries to team at present; I have to play what I have at my disposal. Howarth (1), Dobner (0) and Reeves (0) play the role, perhaps can do better. Approach is everything. I try to influence their thinking (9) by slotting in alongside them.”

SKY: “Our commentators thought they were awful.”

JT: “We perhaps see different game.”

SKY: “To the naked eye, with your shape, you are not going pull back that kind of a lead?”

JT: “We are again all experts, no? I see Pearson (35) play well out of position, and I see Hotson (9) soak up a lot of pressure – he has excellent game. Newman (2) is okay and Roberts (0*) is faultless.”

SKY: “So summing up, you perhaps do not see this result as a loss as such?”

JT: “It is a game we deserve not to lose.”

SKY: “Thanks for your time, Jose Timms.”

JT: “The pleasure is all yours.”

‘SKY News Team’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Wytham CC Played at Wytham, 30 July 2015 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to field Wytham CC won by 79 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none

15 / 373 40 over match

Team	Wytham CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	R. Aunins	c Dobner b Newman-Robson	18		3	-	2-47
2	M. Smith	c Dobner b Roberts	12		2	-	1-35
3	M. Jarvis †	c Hotson b Pearson	15		3	-	3-103
4	P. Blackshaw *	b Emerson	63		12	-	4-156
5	T. Hollis	not out	23		3	-	-
6	A. Powell	b Reeves	36		7	-	5-209
7	S. Powell	b Reeves	0		-	-	6-209
8	R. Coggins	not out	1		-	-	-
9	P. Foster
10	P. Newman
11	B. Keen
	Extras	NB6, W25, LB7, B7	45
	TOTAL	(for 6 wickets, 40 overs)	213

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Roberts	5	0	16	1
2	Newman-Robson	8	0	35	1
3	Pearson	8	0	34	1
4	Reeves	8	0	47	2
5	Timms	4	0	36	0
6	Emerson	7	1	29	1

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	D. Emerson	b S. Powell	24	(29)	4	-	2-56
2	G. Carter	b Smith	14	(15)	3	-	1-39
3	R. J. B. Hadfield	c Hollis b S. Powell	13	(18)	3	-	3-61
4	I. Howarth	b Smith	1	(5)	-	-	5-63
5	S. L. P. Dobner	b S. Powell	0	(2)	-	-	4-62
6	G. J. Timms *	b Blackshaw	9	(12)	2	-	7-79
7	M. K. Reeves	b Blackshaw	0	(3)	-	-	6-68
8	J. W. Pearson	st Jarvis b Foster	35	(51)	5	-	10-134
9	J. C. W. Hotson †	b Foster	9	(36)	1	-	8-125
10	J. Newman-Robson	b S. Powell	2	(5)	-	-	9-130
11	C. D. Roberts	not out	0	(4)	-	-	-
	Extras	NB1, W21, LB4, B1	27
	TOTAL	(all out, 29.5 overs)	134

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	S. Powell	8	1	48	4
2	Smith	6	1	24	2
3	Newman	4	0	15	0
4	Blackshaw	4	0	14	2
5	Keen	3	0	14	0
6	Foster	4.5	0	24	2

MOTM: J. W. Pearson Champagne Moment: D. Emerson’s slower ball wicket Buffet Award: G. J. Timms’ customary lard cake (with extra lard)

Opposition: V085 / 01 Ground: G077 / 01 Captain: C022 / 36