“Tour
Diary: Day 1”
Match: 15
/ 369
Lost
by 26 runs
|
Team |
Total |
|
Sarisbury CC |
156 - 7 |
|
J. Pearson 2 - 27 |
|
|
|
|
|
FFTMCC |
130 - 9 |
|
M. Reeves 39*, M. Westmoreland 19 |
|
|
In the time it took
Michael Clarke to contemplate enough was enough and for Cricket Australia to
effectively lose their fourth consecutive Ashes Tour on British soil, a merry
band of FFTMCC cricketers had decamped from Oxfordshire to the Fountain Court
Hotel in Hythe, Hampshire. It’s not that the journey was long and painful,
far from it, more that Stuart Broad had routed the men from down under with a
virtuoso performance with the ball in taking 8-15 from 9.3 overs – and every
one of those wickets celebrated with high fives in Dave Shorten’s grubby, but
cosy builders van, as the day unfolded on the radio. Amazing. Amazing. Aussie
all out 60 in 18.3 overs. Not even The MAD could be that crap – or could
they?
The MAD… aiming to beat 60. Despite murmurs of
distrustful malcontent within the party, Mr. Reeves deserves praise for his
undertaking of booking the Fountain Court. A tired and sizeable hotel crying
out for some much needed love, it proved ideal for atypical touring party
with its fanciful spread of SKY TV, darts, pool table and bar. The amicable
staff couldn't have been more obliging either – taking time out to find
sleeping quarters for virgin MAD tourist, Midge the dog. Whilst upping the FCH's
bar takings in the joyous afternoon sun, MAD Top Trumps were shuffled and
drawn to cull a party of 14 for the evening’s T20 v Sarisbury CC. Singular
groans and sighs came from Dobner, Timms and Hotson – whilst collective
groans and sighs serenaded the pulling of R. P. Turner’s card to decide on
the skipper.
Admin out the way, it
was time for a few more beers (and cider) and await Mr. Reeves’ booking of a
mini-bus – to spirit our band of jolly travellers to the cricket ground.
Tina’s Travel wouldn’t let us down. Sarisbury CC is a pretty
little ground cut into surrounding forestry, with a decent sized pavilion
sitting atop sloping grass banks. From the bar area the casual pisshead /
spectator is afforded an excellent view of the action – thus to be found
Dobner, Timms and Hotson with beer (and cider).
Athletes to the end. Winning the toss on a
warm and sultry evening, the home team decided to tonk some workmanlike crap
about as they paced their innings quite well – openers I. Black (33*) and G.
Neve (35*) retiring to top up their beer glasses. Without being unduly
penetrating, MAD bowling wasn't that wayward either, unlike the fielding.
Bowlers adore a good drop and Rundle (4-1-18-0) and Smith (4-0-26-0) were
both quoted in saying how invigorating it was to see Howarth, Hoskins and
Pearson all falling foul when attempting to pouch the silly red leather
thing. More dependable when
tossing the ball, Hoskins (4-0-24-1) finally made the breakthrough, and by
doing so, had taken more wickets than anybody else on Tour thus far. Roberts
(3-0-29-0) would then get carted, much like everyone really, but nowhere near
as bad as club all-rounder and T20 specialist, Mr. D. Shorten. In a nutshell,
Dave's (2-0-30-0) bowling was dire, but in disappearing to the boundary (and
beyond) seven times in just 12 balls, it gave voice to a wonderful sing-along
that will remain with The MAD for years to come.... “He bowls to
the l-e-e-e-e-e-f-f-t-t He bowls to the r-i-i-i-i-i-g-g-h-h-t-t, David
Short-e-e-e-e-e-n-n He’s bowling sh-i-i-i-i-i-t-t-e-e!”
“This Shorten bloke is fucking shite, right?” Corporal Pearson
(3-0-27-2) brought a modicum of respectability to the scoreline by bagging a
brace in the final over, but not before J. Stewart-Hill's 41* had propelled
Sarisbury to 156-3 off their 20 overs. That was the energetic bit out the day
– time for a beer. By this time, Dobner,
Timms and Hotson had informed their team mates that Joe Root had plundered
yet another test ton for England as Michael Clarke’s day continued to go down
the shit pan. It must be great to be young Mr. Root at present – no fear in
his game, just this beautifully balanced, right-handed Yorkshireman making
the world’s best bowlers look mighty ordinary. Could the MAD replicate his
talent with the bat?
Reeves (batting) discovering the joys of bounce. Well, Bullock (9) and
Reeves (39*) certainly tried, as they got to grips with an extremely bouncy
Sarisbury track, before the tempo of The MAD innings was given impetus by
Westmoreland's enterprising 19 off 16 balls. Cue the engine room for lift
off! Howarth (9) strode out
purposefully after replacing his cider bottle for a bat – whacking a few
before young spinner, S. Stewart (4-0-33-3), had him stumped by a New Forest
mile. No panic, that other middle-order tonker of the ball, Shorten – he’d
put this tousle-haired teenager to the sword. Or maybe not. His pathetic
display overall underlined by using his pads first ball. In the blink of an
eye 63-1 had become 72-4 (12 ovs) and Dave desperately needs a kip….
Hoskins (right) returns after another cameo of
cameos to beat all cameos. The required run-rate
would continue to climb despite Mr. Hoskins' typically wristy and busy 17 (15
balls), but he received little in the way of support from Pearson (1), Turner
(5), Roberts (golden) and Smith (4) – the latter’s stumping beyond
ridiculous, albeit very very amusing. In the end, Rundle's 11 not out with the
returning Reeves mattered not as The MAD's search for that elusive Tour
victory continues in earnest. 130-9 and victory to the
hosts by 26 runs.
Matt (batting) discovers he has four arms. But it’s not all about
the result right? Hell no, not on a MAD Tour – a sunset BBQ now supplemented
the beer and cider being drank as both teams exchanged banter, whilst FFTMCC
cricketers began a burger marathon that would almost last into a fourth day.
Good news for Homer Turner, bad news for everyone else with anything
resembling a reasonably controlled calorific intake. Tina’s minibus eventually
rolled into sight as darkness approached and it was back to the FCH for,
er... beer and cider and another mystifying game of Somerset darts. Somebody
won it whilst others didn’t, but someone who
definitely won was the proprietor of the hotel bar. A great start to Tour then,
albeit another loss, but nowhere near as bad as Australia….
Fourth Ashes Test update: Day one,
Trent Bridge – Australia 60, England 274-4. England lead
by 214 runs. ‘Lennie (Ghostwriting for George)’
|
*
Statto
Scorecards
|
Far from the MCC versus Sarisbury
CC Played at Sarisbury
Green, 6 August 2015 Sarisbury CC won the
toss and elected to bat Sarisbury CC won by 26 runs Far from the MCC debuts:
none |
15 / 369 20 over match |
|
Team |
Sarisbury CC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
I. Black |
retired |
33 |
|
5 |
- |
- |
|
2 |
G. Neve |
retired |
35 |
|
3 |
1 |
- |
|
3 |
D. Sampson |
c Roberts b Hoskins |
15 |
|
3 |
- |
1-79 |
|
4 |
S. Anderson |
not out |
24 |
|
3 |
- |
- |
|
5 |
J. Stewart-Hill |
retired |
41 |
|
9 |
- |
- |
|
6 |
C. Kirby |
b Pearson |
0 |
|
- |
- |
2-154 |
|
7 |
J. Weeks † |
c Westmoreland b Pearson |
1 |
|
- |
- |
3-156 |
|
8 |
S. Stewart |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
9 |
T. Mitcheson * |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
10 |
K. Hammond |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
11 |
C. Oliphant |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Extras |
W5, LB2 |
7 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 3 wickets, 20 overs) |
156 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Rundle |
4 |
1 |
18 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Smith |
4 |
0 |
26 |
0 |
|
|
3 |
Hoskins |
4 |
0 |
24 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Roberts |
3 |
0 |
29 |
0 |
|
|
5 |
Pearson |
3 |
0 |
27 |
2 |
|
|
6 |
Shorten |
2 |
0 |
30 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Team |
Far from the MCC |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Batsman |
How Out |
Total |
Balls |
4s |
6s |
FOW |
|
1 |
M. Bullock |
b Hammond |
9 |
(26) |
1 |
- |
1-33 |
|
2 |
M. K. Reeves |
not out |
39 |
(37) |
5 |
1 |
- |
|
3 |
M. T. Westmoreland |
b Mitcheson |
19 |
(16) |
3 |
- |
2-63 |
|
4 |
I. Howarth |
st Weeks b Stewart |
9 |
(6) |
2 |
- |
3-72 |
|
5 |
D. Shorten |
lbw b Stewart |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
4-72 |
|
6 |
J. D. Hoskins |
b Kirby |
17 |
(15) |
2 |
- |
8-109 |
|
7 |
J. W. Pearson |
b Stewart |
1 |
(3) |
- |
- |
5-101 |
|
8 |
R. P. Turner *† |
c Black b Stewart-Hill |
5 |
(5) |
- |
- |
6-108 |
|
9 |
C. D. Roberts |
b Stewart-Hill |
0 |
(1) |
- |
- |
7-109 |
|
10 |
T. P. W. Smith |
st Weeks b Kirby |
4 |
(3) |
1 |
- |
9-114 |
|
11 |
M. S. Rundle |
not out |
11 |
(9) |
1 |
- |
- |
|
|
Extras |
NB2, W6, LB3, B5 |
16 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
TOTAL |
(for 9 wickets, 20 overs) |
130 |
|
|
|
|
|
# |
Bowler |
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
|
|
1 |
Oliphant |
4 |
0 |
14 |
0 |
|
|
2 |
Hammond |
4 |
0 |
15 |
1 |
|
|
3 |
Mitcheson |
4 |
0 |
38 |
1 |
|
|
4 |
Stewart |
4 |
0 |
33 |
3 |
|
|
5 |
Stewart-Hill |
2 |
0 |
11 |
2 |
|
|
6 |
Kirby |
2 |
0 |
13 |
2 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note: M. K. Reeves retired at 91-4 (14.0) and returned
at 114-9 (18.0) |
|
|||||
|
MOTM: M. K. Reeves Champagne Moment: C. D. Roberts’ catch in
the outfield Buffet
Award: D. Shorten’s pickled onions
in Hampshire cider |
Opposition:
V081 / 01 Ground: G073 / 01 Captain: C024 / 09 |