“Biff, Bash, Bonk”

Match: 15 / 362

Won by 67 runs

Team	Total
FFTMCC	161 - 9
D. Shorten 42*, R. Turner 38*
Isis CC	94 - 4
D. Emerson 2 - 17

Under the stewardship of Mr D. Shorten, The MAD T20 bandwagon continues to blaze around leafy Oxfordshire, steamrolling all obstacles before it. Continuing a recurrent theme of late, a successful coin toss allowed The Mad the luxury of batting first on another lovely sunny evening with a bowling green of an outfield.

Dave wants bums on seats, and as such, Team MAD have their instructions to go out and thrash the red ball around without fear of failure. Of course, blips will occur, wickets will fall, but old men with dogs and passing towpath pissheads know they will get entertainment. In fact, perennial number eleven, Tall Bob, knows he will more than likely get a bat, just as he did on this evening.

D. Emerson amazes all with a cultured cover drive.

During a frenetic opening, Hotson went early (4) whilst Howarth (6) ran two to R. P. Turner's one. What was more unusual about Ian's run out, or rather fall out, was his complimentary remarks to his partner post-match, refusing to apportion blame on Homer, and instead citing Russ’ refusal to leave his crease as being “one of [his] better calls in recent times.” Is this another positive example from the Shorten's T20 revolution? Or merely a whole new subterranean level of deadpan sarcasm plumbed by Spam...?

Mr. Turner continued his stirring progress ably supported by a cameo from Smith (7 off 11) and a 200.00 SR effort from the mercurial Hoskins (10 off 5) – where two consecutive Whiter (4-0-27-3) deliveries were swept for four off middle stump, much to the delight of a raucous, mongoose loving crowd.

Dave and his tree trunk.

After Homer's retirement on 71-4 (9 ovs), the Skipper dragged his tree-trunk out to the middle of Queens College to begin depositing deliveries in the Thames – or at least he tried. One of his uber-tonks might have managed it as well, if its trajectory wasn’t scuttled by some pesky bushes.

In a crescendo of batting violence, The MAD eventually underpinned a total of 161-9, with supporting biffs from Emerson (17), Reeves (16), Roberts (2) and Timms (1). Turner (38*) and Shorten (42*) both returned to join in the mayhem, whilst Mr. Bullock trotted out and trotted back in again, having inspected both the pitch, the opposition and one furtive glance at the ball.

Bullock (right) has less to smile out some moments later.

Time for the Isis riposte, however it was dented by a rejuvenated, reconstructed, realigned Mr. Emerson (4-1-17-2), who did for both R. Tolson (0) and his bunny O. Walter (13). Roberts was less assured with the ball, but assured enough to have P. Wiblin (4) caught by the assuring Mr. Hotson.

Opposition spirits were now lifted by Cocktail Landlord and diminutively talented, Mr. Stoneman (27) as he stroked the ball around in the evening sun – much as you would expect on a billiard table. Harry’s fun only coming to an abrupt end when Timms (4-0-18-1) lured him into giving some catching practice for Shorten. 61-4 and ten or so overs to with which to chase an unlikely target, but a target nonetheless.

And, er… that was about it, folks. For some reason entirely known only to himself, N. Khawaja (26*) guided both himself and his son (S. Khawaja 16*) to a total of 94-4. No attempt to achieve the probably unachievable, no thoughts for the five Isis batsmen stood idly by the pavilion awaiting their chance, and no desire to do anything other than protect ones average…. Very, very odd indeed. Hoskins, Howarth, Reeves and Smith all helping themselves some healthy Fantasy accruing economy points.

So, a MAD victory over our nearest neighbours, and one generously underwritten in their match report as one where the “FFTMCC won their third match of four in the season, and their first series against Isis of all time. [Where The MAD] play as a team, socialise as a team and should be respected as a team.”

Kind words indeed.

We look forward to our final encounter at the end of the season, where hopefully the match will be less about one’s average.

‘Victim of Homer’

*

Statto Scorecards

Far from the MCC versus Isis CC Played at Queens College, 7 July 2015 Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to bat Far from the MCC won by 67 runs Far from the MCC debuts: none

15 / 362 20 over match

Team	Far from the MCC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	J. C. W. Hotson	c Tolson b Whiter	4	(5)	1	-	1-4
2	I. Howarth	run out	6	(3)	1	-	2-23
3	R. P. Turner	not out	38	(35)	4	-	-
4	T. P. W. Smith	b Whiter	7	(11)	1	-	3-49
5	J. D. Hoskins	c O. Walter b Whiter	10	(5)	2	-	4-59
6	D. Shorten *	not out	42	(23)	3	2	-
7	D. Emerson	b Naqvi	17	(16)	2	-	5-118
8	M. K. Reeves	lbw b Wiblin	16	(16)	3	-	9-150
9	M. Bullock †	lbw b Naqvi	0	(1)	-	-	6-118
10	C. D. Roberts	c O. Walter b J. Walter	2	(4)	-	-	7-126
11	G. J. Timms	b Wiblin	1	(2)	-	-	8-137
	Extras	NB1, W8, LB1, B8	18
	TOTAL	(for 9 wickets, 20 overs)	161

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Whiter	4	0	27	3
2	S. Khawaja	2	0	22	0
3	Gregory	4	0	26	0
4	Naqvi	4	0	22	2
5	Wiblin	4	0	42	2
6	J. Walter	2	0	13	1
Note: R. P. Turner retired at 71-4 (9.0) and returned at 137-8 (17.3)
Note: D. Shorten retired at 117-4 (14.0) and returned at 150-9 (19.3)

Team	Isis CC
#	Batsman	How Out	Total	Balls	4s	6s	FOW
1	R. Tolson	b Emerson	0		-	-	1-0
2	P. Wiblin	c Hotson b Roberts	4		1	-	2-5
3	H. Stoneman	c Shorten b Timms	27		4	-	3-37
4	O. Walter	b Emerson	13		1	-	4-61
5	N. Khawaja †	not out	26		1	-	-
6	S. Khawaja	not out	16		1	-	-
7	M. Naqvi
8	P. Gregory
9	K. H. Whiter
10	T. Harper
11	J. Walter *
	Extras	NB1, W6, B1	8
	TOTAL	(for 4 wickets, 20 overs)	94

#	Bowler	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wkts
1	Emerson	4	1	17	2
2	Roberts	3	0	27	1
3	Timms	4	0	18	1
4	Hoskins	3	0	12	0
5	Howarth	2	0	6	0
6	Reeves	3	0	10	0
7	Smith	1	0	17	2

MOTM: D. Shorten Champagne Moment: D. Emerson’s bowling of O. Walter Buffet Award: C. D. Roberts’ free range egg sandwiches (with home grown cress)

Opposition: V009 / 21 Ground: G008 / 10 Captain: C016 / 08